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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What to say to the childminder

468 replies

Hyggemama · 12/02/2021 08:43

I just don't know what to do... myself partner and DS1 have never ever ever suffered from a cold sore. My DS2 has been going to a childminder for a few months though. When I collected him on Monday I noticed the childminder had a cold sore. Now he has what looks like a cold sore forming on his top lip. I am so upset. He will have this recurring for life and it must only be from her or her kids because lockdown means this is the only other family he has seen. I feel like taking him out of her care because the hygiene is clearly not good enough and she should have let us know so we made a choice to expose him or not. We would have still paid the bill. AIBU to say he won't be going back there?

OP posts:
bestbitsbetter · 12/02/2021 08:44

I think you're being precious.

Aprilx · 12/02/2021 08:44

YABVVU. You can’t keep him in a bubble for the rest of his life.

Original poster
Hyggemama · 12/02/2021 08:45

Really?! The virus can cause blindness / brain damage and will be with him for life.

OP posts:
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 12/02/2021 08:46

What? It’s just a virus. Ok they don’t look pleasant but it’s not that big a deal. Massive overreaction.

BadMotherLover · 12/02/2021 08:46

No, YANBU. She has poor hygiene in the house. During Lockdown as well. Cancel your contract. btw you can get good anti-virals now that eradicate cold sores pretty well.

Hoppinggreen · 12/02/2021 08:47

I think you are being a bit dramatic but if you are not happy with your CM for any reason find an alternative. Give the appropriate notice and pay what you owe

ChancesWhatChances · 12/02/2021 08:47

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ChancesWhatChances · 12/02/2021 08:49

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Purplewithred · 12/02/2021 08:50

I'd be upset too. If my family and I didn't get cold sores I'd be very upset if one of us suddenly picked them up.

Unfortunately these infections will get passed round by small children hanging out together - nits, impetigo, even scabies, all part of life's rich tapestry.

Flickoffboris · 12/02/2021 08:50

You can do what you like of course, but I think it's a bit precious.
I've had coldsores all of my life they are a pita admittedly, but I don't blame anyone for them.
If he hadn't caught it from her he may well have caught it somewhere else down the line.

Icequeen01 · 12/02/2021 08:51

Sorry but you are really over reacting! Just breath ....

bert3400 · 12/02/2021 08:51

You do know that you could both have the virus and not have any symptoms. Do some research before you go after the childminder

AbsitivelyPosolutely · 12/02/2021 08:53

No, I get it.

I get cold sores and I'm always extremely careful so my son doesn't have to suffer them. Like I wish my mother had been.

Are you sure it's a cold sore, though?

Hyggemama · 12/02/2021 08:56

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JADS · 12/02/2021 08:58

Yabu. A cold sore is a reactivation of the virus so he has already had the virus before he went to the CM probably picked up from one of you. The initial infection may be one you didn't notice or it might have been mistaken for teething (red gums, high temp, sore mouth)

Pay the CM.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 12/02/2021 08:59

Would you feel this way if your child had caught chicken pox at the childminder’s house? Children can die and have life long health implications from all sorts of viruses and illnesses.

ChancesWhatChances · 12/02/2021 09:01

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AStudyinPink · 12/02/2021 09:02

What thing do you think she did that she shouldn’t have done? What thing - if you were looking after him instead of her and you had a cold sore - would you have done to 100% prevent against this happening?

Never hug or kiss him?
Wash hands every time you touched your own face, or him?

What?

firesidetartan · 12/02/2021 09:04

Just when you think Mumsnet is running out Grin

Bananarama101 · 12/02/2021 09:04

I'm not sure where you get the idea it's anything to do with your childminder's hygiene? There is also a virus circulating far more widely that has killed over 100k in this country alone. So you're okay with the increased risk of sending them to a childminder and increasing possible exposure, but not with the risk of getting a coldsore?

Hyggemama · 12/02/2021 09:06

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Twizbe · 12/02/2021 09:06

I'm guessing your child has had all the vaccinations then, including the private ones like chicken pox?

It's a cold sore, you've said yourself that it's very rare to get such serious complications from it.

Anyway, don't like child minder, remove him by all means and find an alternative. Any childcare setting is going to expose him to viruses of all types. At the moment it's a lot better for sure, but those little bugs are still doing the rounds.

LagneyandCasey · 12/02/2021 09:07

A huge overreaction, op. Dont ever take your child to a public pool or enrol them in school will you?

Hyggemama · 12/02/2021 09:07

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Original poster
Hyggemama · 12/02/2021 09:09

@AStudyinPink

What thing do you think she did that she shouldn’t have done? What thing - if you were looking after him instead of her and you had a cold sore - would you have done to 100% prevent against this happening?

Never hug or kiss him?
Wash hands every time you touched your own face, or him?

What?

She could have told us her / her kids were suffering from cold sores atm. Then we make an informed decision about whether or not to send him in... pay the bill either way.
OP posts: