Page 18 | What to say to the childminder

Hyggemama · 2021-02-12T08:43:02+00:00

I just don't know what to do... myself partner and DS1 have never ever ever suffered from a cold sore. My DS2 has been going to a childminder for a few months though. When I collected him on Monday I noticed the childminder had a cold sore. Now he has what looks like a cold sore forming on his top lip. I am so upset. He will have this recurring for life and it must only be from her or her kids because lockdown means this is the only other family he has seen. I feel like taking him out of her care because the hygiene is clearly not good enough and she should have let us know so we made a choice to expose him or not. We would have still paid the bill. AIBU to say he won't be going back there?

MacDuffsMuff · 13/02/2021 00:26

If this thread has taught me anything it's that people can get very offended about cold sores.

Um ... most people aren't at all. You seem to be though. I do really hope that you're not going to pass on your revulsion to your poor little boy and view him in the way that you appear to view others who happen to have a cold sore.

Bookwords · 13/02/2021 06:32

I don't want to upset her. How could I talk to her about it in a way that wouldn't offend? If this thread has taught me anything it's that people can get very offended about cold sores.

Your title was "what to say to the childminder", you always intended to talk to her???

🤷‍♀️

Original poster

Hyggemama · 13/02/2021 07:15

I don't have time to respond to everyone that agrees or disagrees with me. Thank you to those that have helped me know what to say to the childminder.

For those of you that seem outraged that I'm a upset, I find it highly unlikely that you wouldn't be just a little bit upset to find out your baby has the herpes virus. I know lots of people who suffer recurrently and no I don't judge them or find them repulsive or anything. I just don't want my child to go through what they have gone through. I don't think that's completely morally abhorrent. Yes, the current climate of viral pandemic probably added to my initial concern about him attending the CM.

Anyway, I will see how it goes, take him to a pharmacy and if it is one, just hope he only gets the occasional cold sore. I will also notify the CM.

I will be sure to update if this, in actual fact, was a whole thread about what's actually a scratch on his lip...

OP posts:

Fembot123 · 13/02/2021 07:55

@Hyggemama

I don't have time to respond to everyone that agrees or disagrees with me. Thank you to those that have helped me know what to say to the childminder.

For those of you that seem outraged that I'm a upset, I find it highly unlikely that you wouldn't be just a little bit upset to find out your baby has the herpes virus. I know lots of people who suffer recurrently and no I don't judge them or find them repulsive or anything. I just don't want my child to go through what they have gone through. I don't think that's completely morally abhorrent. Yes, the current climate of viral pandemic probably added to my initial concern about him attending the CM.

Anyway, I will see how it goes, take him to a pharmacy and if it is one, just hope he only gets the occasional cold sore. I will also notify the CM.

I will be sure to update if this, in actual fact, was a whole thread about what's actually a scratch on his lip...

Good idea re pharmacy, I hope it does turn out to be a scratch

Whattodo1610 · 13/02/2021 08:21

OP - Anyway, I will see how it goes, take him to a pharmacy and if it is one, just hope he only gets the occasional cold sore. I will also notify the CM.

I will be sure to update if this, in actual fact, was a whole thread about what's actually a scratch on his lip...

You have over reacted all the way through this thread in a way I’ve literally never seen before. A few times I’ve pointed out that you keep saying cm and your ds have a cold sore when in actual fact NOTHING has been confirmed. Not many have picked up on this I don’t think. Many have jumped on the band wagon and insulted and berated your cm in a disgusting way. And now you finally admit you don’t even know what your ds has?! You should be ashamed and get this thread removed.

MissMarpleDarling · 13/02/2021 08:28

Yabvu I get coldsores when I'm run down and my own teen kids have never once had them

JellyNo15 · 13/02/2021 08:47

I am a childminder who occasionally suffers from coldsores. How do you know that it is not a coincidence that your child has developed one the same time as the childminder? My adult DC have never had an active sore but it doesn't mean they don't have the virus lying dormant.

A professional childcare provider will hug a child when needed but not kiss them. Hygiene standards are higher than ever with the procedures that need to be followed because of covid. So if you really feel the Childminder is lacking in hygiene then you should find alternative care.

If I were your childminder and you accuse me of lack of personal hygiene and the cause of your child's coldsore I would be giving you notice on the grounds of lack of trust. I would be very offended too.

Bythemillpond · 13/02/2021 08:50

I dot see how hygiene has string to do with getting cold sores
My daughter picked one up at her nursery. As parents we had to provide their individual towels so no sharing. She passed it on to me. Since then we haven’t had any more.

Just because you have the virus doesn’t mean you will get a cold sore for the rest of your life.

I think it is a little over the top the reactions.
What exactly do you want the child minder or anyone else to do if they have the cold sore virus?
Never work, never go out in public again.
Stay at home with their disease?
I am presuming you just have the one child.
I am warning you they will come back with all sorts of infections once they start school.
Wait till they get nits. You can’t avoid them if one gets them in a class.

MacDuffsMuff · 13/02/2021 09:22

You have over reacted all the way through this thread in a way I’ve literally never seen before. A few times I’ve pointed out that you keep saying cm and your ds have a cold sore when in actual fact NOTHING has been confirmed. Not many have picked up on this I don’t think. Many have jumped on the band wagon and insulted and berated your cm in a disgusting way. And now you finally admit you don’t even know what your ds has?! You should be ashamed and get this thread removed.

Agreed @Whattodo1610. It's a terrible thread.

DailyCandy · 14/02/2021 06:25

I think it’s disgusting that so many posters are rabidly attacking the OP. Get a fucking grip.
No one wants to see their child pick up a communicable and ugly infection at that age and from someone who should be protecting and caring for them.

I don’t think it’s something the childminder is culpable for - the woman can’t help it. But I’d reserve the right to remove my child - absolutely - I don’t have to explain my choices to anyone and neither should the OP.

Whattodo1610 · 14/02/2021 08:36

daily ... we don’t even know if ANYONE actually does even have a cold sore! Just op’s suspicions, which she then later changes from has a cold sore to what looks like a cold sore to a scratch!

Those giving the cm a hard time are bang out of order. Even IF her son turns out to have a cold sore it DOESN’T mean he got it from the cm!

OP is perfectly entitled to remove her child, what she’s not entitled to do is slag off the cm for being unhygienic when she has NO proof of anything at all! She’s caused hysteria and hatred towards the cm with no evidence at all.

This thread is ugly and repulsive in what the OP has said and caused.

Bythemillpond · 14/02/2021 08:45

The only person who needs to get a grip is the op.
The things children bring home from school are much worse than a cold sore which if the son has picked up he might never suffer from again in his life.
I think nits are worse to deal with. If the op is berating the childminder because of hygiene I suggest wait till you have dealt with nits 3 or 4 times in a row because some one hasn’t treated their child and they keep infecting the rest of the class.

Nith · 14/02/2021 09:55

For those of you that seem outraged that I'm a upset, I find it highly unlikely that you wouldn't be just a little bit upset to find out your baby has the herpes virus

But you haven't found that out?

Hatia · 14/02/2021 10:04

This thread is ugly and repulsive in what the OP has said and caused.

Good example of DARVO being played out. Attack the op and then blame her for other people's shitty bullying behaviour. Because they can't control their own behaviour, no it's down to the oh so powerful op that caused this. She made you do it right?

Pathetic.

PenfoldPenny · 14/02/2021 11:26

YABU
I had a few cold sores as a kid. And one or two as an adult.
No drama just find the little tube of Blisteez. Better in a day or three.

Whattodo1610 · 14/02/2021 11:58

hatia ... the OP should never have downright blamed and slagged off her cm for something that she may not actually have done, may not even have, nor may the OP’s son even have! The thread is made up of at best assumptions, at worst lies.

And for OP to then escalate to brain damage (so extremely rare and massive overreaction!) to lifelong disease is just the most dramatic unnecessary drivel I’ve ever come across.

Quite a few times it’s been pointed out to the OP that she actually has NO confirmation of ANY cold sores or ANY unhygienic practice ... but still she continues to spout her nonsense.

Glad you’d be ok with the OP blaming you for giving her son a terrible disease 🙄 and slating you for being unhygienic ... WITH NO EVIDENCE AT ALL.

Hatia · 14/02/2021 12:07

Balnce of probability would seem that it is extremely likely that the childminder did give the child a cold sore.

Your extreme reaction is unusual. As if it's a personal attack on you. One might think you were the childminder. Suggest you clean up your act if you are.

Blindstupid · 14/02/2021 12:32

hatia ... you’ve not read OP’s posts properly then??

Ds has a cold sore, then what appears to be a cold sore, then or scratch on his lip. NOT confirmed a cold sore.

CM has a cold sore, then what appears to be a cold sore. Again, NOT confirmed.

So please tell us how cm has given child a cold sore when actually NEITHER have been confirmed as to ACTUALLY having a cold sore.

Hatia · 14/02/2021 12:44

I guess you couldn't pick up the sarcasm around the scratch then. As coldsores are really quite obvious. Good username though, it suits you.

MacDuffsMuff · 14/02/2021 12:45

@Hatia good grief, calm down, you seem to be taking this very personally. You accuse other posters of doing exactly what you're doing yourself.

Hatia · 14/02/2021 12:49

You accuse other posters of doing exactly what you're doing yourself

What am I accusing other posters of?

glitterelf · 14/02/2021 12:53

@Hatia I'm sure your aware that actually there are other things it could be, like impetigo or hand, foot and mouth.
The Op has been given some sound advice to seek guidance and advice from a pharmacist and to notify her childminder.
It's a massive leap based on assumption that the childminder has a cold sore and the incubation period between transmission is well off so even if the childminder does in fact have a cold sore chances are he didn't get it from her.

Blindstupid · 14/02/2021 12:57

haita the OP herself changed her wording .. has a cold sore, then changed to what looks like a cold sore, then looks like/has a scratch.

Not sure how you can aim an insult at me though based on something the OP believes 🤣🤣I’m very aware what cold sores look like, seems the OP isn’t.

nicknamehelp · 14/02/2021 12:57

Oh dear wait till he gets chicken pox,upset tummy and endless colds. I'm sorry you are being a tiny bit pfb here. And yes this might be with him for life but as a minor inconvenience imagine if he was blind,deaf or physically disabled that really does stay with you for life.

Hatia · 14/02/2021 13:00

The incubation period is not well off at all. It fits in pretty well. Noticed on the childminder Monday. Noticed on the child Friday. So that chances are pretty high that he did get it from on her.