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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to have finally snapped?

595 replies

ChilliWillies · 11/02/2021 13:35

Strap yourself in, this will be long. I’ve also name changed as what I’ll write is so identifying if you know me.
DH is a fussy eater. He claims he isn’t and that I’m the ‘weird’ one as I eat almost anything. DS6 is also going through a phase of saying he ‘hates’ the food I’ve made. For the record, I’m a good cook and am often complimented on my food.
I have managed to expand DH’s very limited palate over a lot of years so we can have less boring food, but any new recipe is met with suspicion. I can almost accept this, but what is CANNOT handle is that he changes his fucking mind! Something I made last week that he really enjoyed, this week ‘tastes awful’. I never know if he will like something that week or not. He also has form for getting annoyed about how food is served - I served curry and rice in big pasta bowls once and he made a big performance of tipping it all out onto a plate before he would eat it. I am the only cook - he can cook, but gets ridiculously stressed by it and also takes 3 hours to make anything.
Last night, I put dinner on the table, DS said ‘yuck, I hate this’ (he doesn’t, he loved it last week, getting this behaviour from his dad 😡) and left the table. DH poked at it dubiously, tried a bit and said ‘this is really bad’. It was some Sicilian Lamb Stew, leftover from the week before, that I’d frozen and then defrosted yesterday, served over a jacket potato. I explained he had liked it last time, and he said ‘what, with a jacket potato?’ I explained last time I’d served it with mashed potato and he literally said ‘oh that will be it then, you shouldn’t serve it with a jacket potato’!!!! 😡🙄. As if that would change the taste of the stew completely.
So, I actually lost it, stormed out, went to the shop and bought crappy white sliced bread, (he will moan if I buy unsliced bread, or anything with healthy seeds and grains in it) cheap ham, burgers, chicken nuggets and chips. When I got hone, I told him that’s what they were getting from now on, I give up.
He clearly didn’t believe me, because when I made lunch just now I made them plain ham sandwiches and made myself a new chicken story fry with peanut noodles recipe I’d been wanting to try. He’s got the right hump and is now not speaking to me.
So, we’ll done for getting this far. AIBU for subjecting to them to ham sandwiches and beige food for at least two weeks until they realise how good they had it?

OP posts:
ChilliWillies · 11/02/2021 13:37

Apologies for typos, too mad to type slowly!

OP posts:
WalkingMeAway · 11/02/2021 13:38

Why are you continuing to make lunch for him?

Let him do it himself !

WantChewbaccaForGood · 11/02/2021 13:40

He can make his own beige food.
How/ why does it always seem to be the responsibility of the woman to cook, its ridiculous (I say, as the cook, recognising how crap that is & still bloody doing it).

PlanDeRaccordement · 11/02/2021 13:41

YANBU
Do you meal plan by yourself or together? I found that only way to get mine to eat was for us to decide on what meal to eat each day a week in advance. As in plan out a menu. This might help you moving forward so that for them dinner isn’t a surprise every night and therefore suspicious.

MoveAsideCherry · 11/02/2021 13:43

Does your husband cook at all op? I'm abit confused as to why he is moaning about food being cooked for him? If he is that unhappy tell hin to make his own food from now on and to stop being ungrateful! I wouldn't have even made the beige food. Your son is only 6 but no excuse for your dh!

AmandaHoldensLips · 11/02/2021 13:44

Fussy eaters can piss right off and make their own food.

Wishitsnows · 11/02/2021 13:44

Is he incapable of making his own sandwiches?

SnarkyBag · 11/02/2021 13:44

Good for you. What a bloody child!

MoveAsideCherry · 11/02/2021 13:44

Also why are you still cooking and making him lunch?!

ChilliWillies · 11/02/2021 13:44

@PlanDeRaccordement I ask them both when I do the meal plan, DS always asks for the same lunch on Saturday, which I make, DH literally says ‘you know me, I don’t mind’😱!!! He contributes no ideas but moans if the meal rotations get too boring 😡

OP posts:
timeisnotaline · 11/02/2021 13:45

YANBU
YANBU
YANBU
YA Very much NBU
Why would anyone cook nice food for an adult who just whines about it?

TabletHelpPlease · 11/02/2021 13:45

YANBU to let your husband fend for himself. YABU to stop trying with your 6yo. Why don't you and your son eat separately to your DH?

RJnomore1 · 11/02/2021 13:45

I’ve said yabu purely for making anything for the spoilt arse.

Have his hands dropped off or something?

HitchFlix · 11/02/2021 13:45

I voted YABU as I'm agog you went to the shop for them AND made his lunch?? Why did you do that???

YANBU to be annoyed. If someone cooks you a meal you say thank you and eat as much as you can manage. He was incredibly rude about it. My husband has a very plain pallet too but he will try things. If he doesn't like something he'll say nothing. I'll know he doesn't like it because of the silence but he'd never in a million years be rude about it. Your husband is setting a bad example for your son but so are you by running around after everyone. If your husband cooks more he'll eventually become more proficient and less stressed. Start splitting the cooking and everyone will get a chance to make their preferred dishes.

halfwaythrough2 · 11/02/2021 13:46

CF alert! YANBU

Would drive me mad but is there any chance he has OCD? Even mildly ?

greeneyedlulu · 11/02/2021 13:46

That would drive me mad! But just let your DH get on with the beige food and try to get your son back on board with you and varied food! My DS used to eat anything and everything but now is a fussy eater and I could cry, meals where is do not let him have chicken nuggets and chips are just so miserable that I want to put him up for adoption!

timeisnotaline · 11/02/2021 13:46

Bloody hell just read the latest! Don’t start cooking for him again unless he texts you each week that he is happy to eat whatever and will say nothing negative and thank you darling after. So you have it as evidence to hold him to, otherwise he can keep his ham sandwiches. How you haven’t exploded when he says he doesn’t mind what you eat I don’t know!

OrigamiOwl · 11/02/2021 13:46

Can't be just make his own lunch? I'd stop making his lunch for him.

BoomyBooms · 11/02/2021 13:47

He is behaving exactly how my one year old behaves!! Definitely leave him to it. I'd worry about your son copying him though, maybe do feed your son and eat with him and let DH fend for himself and eat on his own.

Wishitsnows · 11/02/2021 13:47

So not only does he not bother to cook he doesn't even have the mental capability of knowing what meals he would like to eat. Nobody could be that useless unless on purpose to get someone else to do things for them. Stop being a mug.

Disneyvillain · 11/02/2021 13:47

I don’t blame you OP!!

In the long run I’d focus on your DS as he is young and his relationship with food is still developing. Maybe the two of you could plan and make a meal of his choice? Or give him a choice of two meals every day and then cook the one he has chosen?

MsMarch · 11/02/2021 13:48

Your biggest issue here is that he's turning your DS into an erratic, fussy, ungrateful eater. That would make me so angry. I'd be telling them that if he doesn't like the food, that's fine. But to constantly complain and be inconsistent is setting a really bad example for the DC and you are not going to put up with it anymore.

I'd also be tempted to start eating with just you and DC and he can sort his own food out. And feel free to say things like, "Daddy doesn't like as much variety as we do." or "Daddy's food is a bit boring so we're going to eat this yummy different food instead."

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 11/02/2021 13:49

YANBU to be fed up

YABU to go to the shop for beige food and continue to make lunch & dinner for them.

Daddy's turn to cater for himself & DS .

Honestly, so what if it takes him 3 hours, that's HIS problem.

He's not 'fussy', he's rude & ungrateful and possibly a bit controlling. (Likes it one day, not another- to keep you on your toes?!).

Quartz2208 · 11/02/2021 13:50

WHy are you even making the ham sandwiches!

ginandwineandbaileys · 11/02/2021 13:50

Ugh, I'd never put up with this. Just leave him to it