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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to have finally snapped?

595 replies

ChilliWillies · 11/02/2021 13:35

Strap yourself in, this will be long. I’ve also name changed as what I’ll write is so identifying if you know me.
DH is a fussy eater. He claims he isn’t and that I’m the ‘weird’ one as I eat almost anything. DS6 is also going through a phase of saying he ‘hates’ the food I’ve made. For the record, I’m a good cook and am often complimented on my food.
I have managed to expand DH’s very limited palate over a lot of years so we can have less boring food, but any new recipe is met with suspicion. I can almost accept this, but what is CANNOT handle is that he changes his fucking mind! Something I made last week that he really enjoyed, this week ‘tastes awful’. I never know if he will like something that week or not. He also has form for getting annoyed about how food is served - I served curry and rice in big pasta bowls once and he made a big performance of tipping it all out onto a plate before he would eat it. I am the only cook - he can cook, but gets ridiculously stressed by it and also takes 3 hours to make anything.
Last night, I put dinner on the table, DS said ‘yuck, I hate this’ (he doesn’t, he loved it last week, getting this behaviour from his dad 😡) and left the table. DH poked at it dubiously, tried a bit and said ‘this is really bad’. It was some Sicilian Lamb Stew, leftover from the week before, that I’d frozen and then defrosted yesterday, served over a jacket potato. I explained he had liked it last time, and he said ‘what, with a jacket potato?’ I explained last time I’d served it with mashed potato and he literally said ‘oh that will be it then, you shouldn’t serve it with a jacket potato’!!!! 😡🙄. As if that would change the taste of the stew completely.
So, I actually lost it, stormed out, went to the shop and bought crappy white sliced bread, (he will moan if I buy unsliced bread, or anything with healthy seeds and grains in it) cheap ham, burgers, chicken nuggets and chips. When I got hone, I told him that’s what they were getting from now on, I give up.
He clearly didn’t believe me, because when I made lunch just now I made them plain ham sandwiches and made myself a new chicken story fry with peanut noodles recipe I’d been wanting to try. He’s got the right hump and is now not speaking to me.
So, we’ll done for getting this far. AIBU for subjecting to them to ham sandwiches and beige food for at least two weeks until they realise how good they had it?

OP posts:
MintyMabel · 13/02/2021 19:51

I have managed to expand DH’s very limited palate over a lot of years so we can have less boring food

Have you any idea how patronising and controlling that sounds?

WoolieLiberal · 13/02/2021 19:57

I’d let him make his own meals from now on.

BloggersBlog · 13/02/2021 21:13

You coming back op?
Or are you knee deep digging that patio?

Five67Eight · 13/02/2021 22:23

@MintyMabel

I love stew and mash. I don’t like stew on a baked potato. There is a difference so he isn’t wrong there.

I’d also disagree that he is necessarily influencing your son. Sometimes kids are just picky eaters. Deal with his behaviour, blaming his dad doesn’t help with that.

I have a real issue with some textures and flavours. I’m not picky or fussy, I just prefer not gagging and throwing up when I eat. When DD and DH have something I can’t tolerate, I cook myself something else. I don’t understand why people make such a big deal about it. But, if people want to use it to make themselves feel superior, they can knock themselves out. My “dealbreaker” is with people who believe they should be able to control what other people eat.

And are you an ungrateful, whinging, complaining sod when people do prepare food for you that you don’t like? Or do you politely decline and make something yourself?

Because I’m not really seeing what your post has to do with the OP’s situation.

Bookwords · 14/02/2021 04:06

I have a real issue with some textures and flavours. I’m not picky or fussy, I just prefer not gagging and throwing up when I eat. When DD and DH have something I can’t tolerate, I cook myself something else. I don’t understand why people make such a big deal about it. But, if people want to use it to make themselves feel superior, they can knock themselves out. My “dealbreaker” is with people who believe they should be able to control what other people eat.

You're not picky or fussy? 🤔

Originalusername2021 · 14/02/2021 04:30

Perhaps he has SPD - is he like it with other things too clothes? Smells?

Still he shouldn’t be rude though, just make his own food.

wirldsgonemad · 14/02/2021 04:34

Your DH sounds like my daughter, her tastes change regularly. I gave up, if she doesn't eat what I cook, she has a pot noodle! At least she's eating. I've given up despairing about trying to get her to eat a healthy varied diet.

Cocogreen · 14/02/2021 04:40

My daughter married a man whose mother cooked 4 different meals every night for her family of 5 because of all the fussy eaters.
When they first lived together they’d meal plan together and take turns cooking. Early on when she made a meal he’d agreed on he said “ I don’t feel like eating this” and looked at her expectantly. She pointed to the toaster and said “ then have toast”.

CheddarGorgeous · 14/02/2021 06:32

@ChilliWillies come back and update!

Alonelonelyloner · 14/02/2021 09:19

My YANBU is now a YABU

Why are you still cooking for him at all????
Why?
You aren't teaching him. It's not your job. He has been unbearably rude to you time and again about your cooking. Now you will still serve him food? Wtaf.

Casiloco · 14/02/2021 09:24

I’m curious to know how your DH responds when he has other people cook for him - whether in a restaurant or in friends’ or family’s houses.

Is he equally rude? In which case he is still an ungrateful plonker! But if not, this is emotional abuse - downright nasty!!

YANBU 100 times over!!!!!

Bookwords · 14/02/2021 11:48

@CheddarGorgeous she hasn't got time, she's making two different breakfasts, lunch and dinners! The

Coffeemaniac · 14/02/2021 17:14

Let them eat beige...

BloggersBlog · 14/02/2021 22:50

She's long gone @Chedder

BadMotherLover · 14/02/2021 22:54

Seriously, meal plan and make him cook some of the meals. It is fucking ridiculous an adult behaving like this, especially during lockdown.

Ladylimpet · 14/02/2021 23:19

Omg.. I'm embarrassed for him. And for you for putting up with it! I can hon

Ladylimpet · 14/02/2021 23:21

Whoops, posted too soon, I'm that annoyed. Haha! But honestly, why do you put up with that shit? I can honestly say, I truly wouldn't put up with that behaviour.

Mads123 · 14/02/2021 23:31

My husband does all the cooking because he would critique mine. I eat what I'm served and compliment him on it, Even if it's a oven pizza I still thank him.

cakewench · 16/02/2021 20:03

How is it going, OP? Flowers

josbd · 20/02/2021 07:47

Why do so many women put up with childish, entitled behaviour from their DH's? You are spending hours making wonderful food for this ingrate, who responds by throwing a bloody tantrum! Fuck that!

Worse still, his abominable actions are rubbing off on your son.....

I would open the back door, and tell him to sling his bloody hook, and not to return until he has learned how to show genuine gratitude!!

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