AIBU to have finally snapped?

[ChilliWillies]

Strap yourself in, this will be long. I’ve also name changed as what I’ll write is so identifying if you know me.
DH is a fussy eater. He claims he isn’t and that I’m the ‘weird’ one as I eat almost anything. DS6 is also going through a phase of saying he ‘hates’ the food I’ve made. For the record, I’m a good cook and am often complimented on my food.
I have managed to expand DH’s very limited palate over a lot of years so we can have less boring food, but any new recipe is met with suspicion. I can almost accept this, but what is CANNOT handle is that he changes his fucking mind! Something I made last week that he really enjoyed, this week ‘tastes awful’. I never know if he will like something that week or not. He also has form for getting annoyed about how food is served - I served curry and rice in big pasta bowls once and he made a big performance of tipping it all out onto a plate before he would eat it. I am the only cook - he can cook, but gets ridiculously stressed by it and also takes 3 hours to make anything.
Last night, I put dinner on the table, DS said ‘yuck, I hate this’ (he doesn’t, he loved it last week, getting this behaviour from his dad 😡) and left the table. DH poked at it dubiously, tried a bit and said ‘this is really bad’. It was some Sicilian Lamb Stew, leftover from the week before, that I’d frozen and then defrosted yesterday, served over a jacket potato. I explained he had liked it last time, and he said ‘what, with a jacket potato?’ I explained last time I’d served it with mashed potato and he literally said ‘oh that will be it then, you shouldn’t serve it with a jacket potato’!!!! 😡🙄. As if that would change the taste of the stew completely.
So, I actually lost it, stormed out, went to the shop and bought crappy white sliced bread, (he will moan if I buy unsliced bread, or anything with healthy seeds and grains in it) cheap ham, burgers, chicken nuggets and chips. When I got hone, I told him that’s what they were getting from now on, I give up.
He clearly didn’t believe me, because when I made lunch just now I made them plain ham sandwiches and made myself a new chicken story fry with peanut noodles recipe I’d been wanting to try. He’s got the right hump and is now not speaking to me.
So, we’ll done for getting this far. AIBU for subjecting to them to ham sandwiches and beige food for at least two weeks until they realise how good they had it?

Absolutely not BU. I simply would not stand for this and I'm remarkably laid back about a lot of things MN froths about.

This? Hell no. The DC I would cook for because they need to be taught and clearly your DH will be useless on that score. However i would not be cooking for DH at all....nothing , not a sandwich , not a bloody cup of tea. His behaviour is rude , entitled and ridiculous.

I admit i cannot bear performance fussiness, in rare occasions there are good reasons for peoples food needs but i find the ones that really do have food issues are polite and considerate.

This behaviour ? Nope. No food. You want it ? You cook it.

Stop making any food for him at all. You've bought the beige food, let him cook that himself. God almighty, you've a million times more patience than I do!

YANBU. Although I would have not made the sandwiches and probably wouldn’t have got the shopping in.

Stop cooking his meals.

He’s lucky he is not under the patio there is not a jury in the land that would convict you.

My dh is bloody grateful for anything that is cooked for him - which is how it should be.

My eldest ds is autistic, has sensory issues, and sometimes has a problem with a meal he's been perfectly happy to eat before. He's been making his own sandwiches since he was 5 if he didn't like a meal, or toastie with some carrots. Get your ds to do this, and let your OH take 3 hours, not your problem to solve

Yanbu. The twat will soon learn to cook when you’ve divorced him.
Stop cooking for him!!

I wouldn't even make him the sandwich tbh and I am usually pretty much "oh well if you are cooking for yourself extra portion isn't really extra work"😂

Let him starve. Or start cooking. I would probably cook my dh if he did things like this😂

If DS starts to take an interest in your giid, let him taste it and if he likes it tell him he can have that gir dinner next time you make it, but explain it's OK not to like 'some' things, but it's NOT ok to be rude about it or to decide before trying it or flip flop just because you fancy something else.

But don't let him try it then have it for his dinner on a whim, that just gives him more if a 'short order cook' mentality. Both his pallet and his manners need improving (thanks to his father).

PS I'd love someone to move in that really cooks, let alone twice a day! He doesn't know how lucky he is!!

I’d refuse to cook for him, it’s unbelievably rude to react that way when you’ve spent time preparing food for him. I’d continue to feed your DS a balanced diet but I’d go on strike with your partner until he learned some manners.

I really think your dh needs to cook at least a couple of days a week - even if it does take him forever. That way he might fucking appreciate the cooking you do! He has no right to be so ridiculously fussy - if a stew goes with mash potato it goes with a baked potato for fucksake!

Not the point of the post but I googled Sicilian lamb stew and it looks lovely! Might have a go at it myself. Absolutely YANBU

If I was you I’d stop cooking for DH and just cook for you and your DS; the habit your DS is getting from his dad isn’t good and my 3 year old doesn’t get to leave the table saying her dinner is yuck. I can’t think of the right word for it but I think with your DH it’s beyond fussy eating as him saying he doesn’t mind then criticising a meal or making a fuss of how it’s served is to be honest just unkind and mean.

My top tip for getting your DS to eat more things is to give them to him as a small portion with something he likes. My rule was they had to try a bit of it but as it wasn’t the key part of the meal, there was less pressure to like it.

I can’t believe you made them ham sandwiches and think that’s you putting your foot down. Come on, woman. From now until you get a grovelling apology you cook for yourself and only yourself. Let him be stressed, let him take 3 hours, let your son moan at him about how long it’s taking.

You do not exist to make his life easier.

YANBU. I’d tell your DH that he’s in charge of food prep from now on.

The only thing that makes me uncomfortable is lumping your DS in with him, and giving him beige crap too.

Essentially it all boils down to the fact that if someone can't be arsed to cook or have an input on what's being cooked, they should shut it and eat whatever is served🤷🏻
If someone wants a choice they need to be part of the process not choose to opt out and then moan

What everyone else said.

Also, how you've managed to restrain yourself from tipping the bowl over his head and telling him to fuck off to the far side of fuck off, I do not know.

@MsMarch

Your biggest issue here is that he's turning your DS into an erratic, fussy, ungrateful eater. That would make me so angry. I'd be telling them that if he doesn't like the food, that's fine. But to constantly complain and be inconsistent is setting a really bad example for the DC and you are not going to put up with it anymore.

I'd also be tempted to start eating with just you and DC and he can sort his own food out. And feel free to say things like, "Daddy doesn't like as much variety as we do." or "Daddy's food is a bit boring so we're going to eat this yummy different food instead."

This in spades. Leave your H to it. Boring beige bastard.

YANBU to be totally pissed off.

YABU to go to the shops and buy the beige food (he can do that himself), YABU for making him sandwiches.

I wouldn't make any food for anyone who complained

Literally the first time they did it I wouldn't cook a meal for them - pass the responsibility for feeding the kid to the person who complained

Don't cook for him any more. ds does this so now he does his own (usually beige oven food) So.at least he eats it now.

@timeisnotaline

YANBU YANBU YANBU YA Very much NBU Why would anyone cook nice food for an adult who just whines about it?

This ^^

Well done op!

Thanks everyone glad I’m not going nuts. I won’t keep DS on beige food for long, it’s just as a lesson, until he gets bored with it. I’m also still making sure he’s eating plenty of fruit etc as snacks.