AIBU to have finally snapped?

[ChilliWillies]

Strap yourself in, this will be long. I’ve also name changed as what I’ll write is so identifying if you know me.
DH is a fussy eater. He claims he isn’t and that I’m the ‘weird’ one as I eat almost anything. DS6 is also going through a phase of saying he ‘hates’ the food I’ve made. For the record, I’m a good cook and am often complimented on my food.
I have managed to expand DH’s very limited palate over a lot of years so we can have less boring food, but any new recipe is met with suspicion. I can almost accept this, but what is CANNOT handle is that he changes his fucking mind! Something I made last week that he really enjoyed, this week ‘tastes awful’. I never know if he will like something that week or not. He also has form for getting annoyed about how food is served - I served curry and rice in big pasta bowls once and he made a big performance of tipping it all out onto a plate before he would eat it. I am the only cook - he can cook, but gets ridiculously stressed by it and also takes 3 hours to make anything.
Last night, I put dinner on the table, DS said ‘yuck, I hate this’ (he doesn’t, he loved it last week, getting this behaviour from his dad 😡) and left the table. DH poked at it dubiously, tried a bit and said ‘this is really bad’. It was some Sicilian Lamb Stew, leftover from the week before, that I’d frozen and then defrosted yesterday, served over a jacket potato. I explained he had liked it last time, and he said ‘what, with a jacket potato?’ I explained last time I’d served it with mashed potato and he literally said ‘oh that will be it then, you shouldn’t serve it with a jacket potato’!!!! 😡🙄. As if that would change the taste of the stew completely.
So, I actually lost it, stormed out, went to the shop and bought crappy white sliced bread, (he will moan if I buy unsliced bread, or anything with healthy seeds and grains in it) cheap ham, burgers, chicken nuggets and chips. When I got hone, I told him that’s what they were getting from now on, I give up.
He clearly didn’t believe me, because when I made lunch just now I made them plain ham sandwiches and made myself a new chicken story fry with peanut noodles recipe I’d been wanting to try. He’s got the right hump and is now not speaking to me.
So, we’ll done for getting this far. AIBU for subjecting to them to ham sandwiches and beige food for at least two weeks until they realise how good they had it?

What everyone else said. You can't find him very attractive when he's being like this??

YANBU that your H is a spoiled brat and acting like a CF
YABU for continuing to cook for him when he acts like this! Don't even heat him a microwave meal. Cook for yourself and leave the ADULT to fend for himself.

As for your son, sit him down and explain calmly such behaviour is not ok and not to copy daddy. A 6 year old shouldnt just leave the table like that! Not his fault his dad is teaching him bad behaviour so cook for both of you and if he doesn't like it he can eat what dad cooks or go hungry

he can cook, but gets ridiculously stressed by it and also takes 3 hours to make anything.

So? Let him get stressed. You are not only cooking but also carrying the mental load of planning the meals, which is made 10x harder trying to guess whether he's in the mood to like it or not. Take it in turns, and on your day just say "I am making x tonight, would you like that or are you making your own?".

Also be clear that he is not to criticise your food in front of your son.

You are not being unreasonable do not cook for your husband again until he appreciates it! Can I just ask for the Sicilian stew recepie sounds delicious.

YABU for cooking for him at all. Let him cook his own food, then you can’t get it wrong.

Why have you accepted such rudeness?

I do the majority of the cooking here and first off I would not tolerate yuk from a child.
Very rude.

Your husband is a rude pig.

Do not give in.
Do not cook for him until you get a genuine apology.

Spend the next couple of weeks only cooking what you like and to hell with the two of them.

Hand over responsibility for feeding your son to his rude father.

@BarbaraofSeville

Why are you pandering to an adult?

Obviously you need to feed DS, but for DH, just say to him, 'I'm making X, do you want some'.

If he says yes. Fine.

If he says yes, and changes his mind, eat it yourself for lunch or dinner the next day, or put it in the freezer for later.

If he says no, then give the matter no more thought whatsoever. Let him tie himself in knots trying to hit the moving target of what he will actually eat.

Absolutely agree with this. Perfect 👌🏼

@ChilliWillies mmm, fantastic! Buon appetit!

tonights dinner sounds fab!

i'd be carrying on as you are. cook for yourself and they can have nuggets.

YANBU that your DH starts to need pulling his weight with the cooking and meal planning, and he needs to stop with the performance fussy eating.

But I think you have to get your head around the fact that just because you can't see any difference between Sicilian lamb stew and mashed potatoes and frozen/reheated Sicilian lamb stew served over jacket potatoes, doesn't mean that he can't. Jacket potatoes and mashed potatoes do taste different (even plain, more so if you use butter and milk for the mash) and have a different texture. Freezing and reheating both subtly change the taste and texture. Serving it over the potato means that the stew, potato and sauce mix, not everyone likes mixing foods. Even the visual appearances can make a difference. If you don't have taste/texture sensitivities, it's hard to understand, but it is real. I don't think many people choose to be fussy eaters.

Personally, I think Sicilian lamb stew, mashed potato and jacket potatoes are all lovely but the thought of it poured over a jacket potato slightly turns my stomach. I wouldn't be making a fuss like your DH, if someone served it to me. I would take off the stew, remove the top of the potato to get to the unadulterated part or I would make myself something else later.

He needs to stop acting like a baby, learn to cook, get involved in shopping if he want his needs taken into account, and stop giving your DS bad habits. However, he isn't just "changing his mind" or being fussy for fun.

I would stop buying anything for the adult, let him sort himself out until he comes crawling back with a grovelling apology, and then set some proper boundaries and ground rules about what you will do for him in the future.

Otoh, I wouldn't let a 6 year old eat only beige food. The problem is that they actually like it at that age, probably more than some lovely home cooked balanced meal, and would probably see it as a treat. I would address the bad behaviour as a separate issue but not let him get away with eating crap as a reward.

The only way you are being unreasonable here is to stay with him and live like this.

@Beautiful3

Get him frozen pizzas, fish fingers, pies and chicken nuggets with a bag of chips. Tell him he has to make his own. You'll cook for you and child(ren). Moaners cook for themselves!

I wouldn't get him anything, let him buy and cook his own.

Stop doing any form of food provision for him, no buying it, no sandwich making, stop helping and enabling him just let him sort himself out. His problem and up to him to find a solution, you've gone above and beyond already in trying to help and it's still not enough, he is treating you appallingly.

Yabu. Two weeks is not long enough!

YABU - because you are still bloody cooking it for them. I would have sacked that off a long time ago!!

ChilliWillies

serve them up turkey twisters, smash & sausages, cheese and onion pasty along with ready food and make yourself the most delightful food ever and enjoy....

Although it is strange that whenever we have one of these threads, the op insists that everyone loves their cooking and can't seem to grasp that even if they are the world's best chef, some people really won't like what they cook. "Tagliatelle with prawns, cherry tomatoes and garlic oil" does not sound nice to me- I'm sure many would love it, but it is entirely legitimate not to.

I would honestly never cook for him again.
For ds I would ask each evening 'are you eating with me or daddy this evening?' It won't take long before he starts eating with you

Don't back down, its not a fucking restaurant. If he doesn't appreciate it don't do it, which is my motto at the moment with my Hs laundry

I do the majority of the cooking here and first off I would not tolerate yuk from a child.

But what if yhr food you gave them was yuk? Not everyone will enjoy what you cook or share your taste. Odd to insist people have to pretend they like what you cook even if they don't.

Tonight is tagliatelle with prawns, cherry tomatoes and garlic oil!

I bloody hope you're letting him get his own nuggets and chips.

YANBU

Your husband is a fucking wanker and if I were you, I’d make him cook his own beige food.

Who the fuck does he think he is?!

Adults who are fussy eaters are always tedious. I wouldn't cook him another meal or even set a place for him at the table.

He isn't a 'fussy eater' - he's an ungrateful, lazy man child.

YANBU to have snapped but YABU to have gone to the shop for his beige food and to have made him his lunch.

Agree with PP - cook for you and DC, let him sort his own meals from here on in. Cockwomble.

It’s not about what she’s serving, though, it’s about how rude he is. It’s ok to dislike the taste of something but you could tell your wife “don’t worry about me thanks, I’m not a massive fan of prawns but I’ll make myself some beige shite.”

It’s not difficult!