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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you choose to have children again knowing what you know now or would you choose childfree?

192 replies

Greenland21 · 10/02/2021 19:53

Just that really. If you have children would you make the same decision again or would you decide to stay childfree? Would you think differently because of Covid? Do you think less women will have children now?

OP posts:
Kpo58 · 10/02/2021 19:55

Why would people have less children due to Covid? There had always been random pandemics and there always will be. The only thing that makes this one different is the amount of media coverage.

AnneLovesGilbert · 10/02/2021 19:55

Fewer women do have children now, it’s a fact. I wouldn’t change DD for the world. Best thing I ever did.

Devlesko · 10/02/2021 19:59

I don't think covid would have any bearing on it tbh.
I have 3 and wouldn't be without any of them. The best thing I did was having children.
I agree fewer women seem to be having children, and more are opting for one or maybe two.

Anothermother3 · 10/02/2021 20:03

Nope no change here.

PurpleDaisies · 10/02/2021 20:06

Why do you think covid will change whether a woman wants a child or not?

2020iscancelled · 10/02/2021 20:07

Um I’d probably ask to skip the first year then pick them up when they can sleep and have passed the major teething phase...

Ok I’d have them from birth to 4 months for the beautiful newborn stage, then hand them over to someone for ALL THE ENDLESS regressions until 12 months.

Wouldn’t change it, just wish it wasn’t as hard sometimes

Peaseblossom22 · 10/02/2021 20:07

I wouldn’t be without them and I love them to bits, they are my world, but I have found parenting older teenagers and young adults really really stressful.

My anxiety levels are constantly sky high. We had a serious mental health scare with one , it came out of the blue and has scarred me for life and I live in constant fear of a repeat. They exhaust me it is the hardest stage by far and the pandemic has just been the icing on the cake .

LarryUnderwood · 10/02/2021 20:08

I wouldn't change a thing. That said, had I not had them i would have been perfectly happy to be childfree. But knowing what I know now, life is better with kids most of the time!

blue25 · 10/02/2021 20:08

Childfree. No doubt about it.

MushMonster · 10/02/2021 20:10

100% as I am, one child

dementedma · 10/02/2021 20:10

Childfree.

WatchWatch · 10/02/2021 20:10

I'd remain child free. No question about it.

Not at all covid related.

camsie · 10/02/2021 20:11

Best thing I ever did. I have one.

DisgruntledPelican · 10/02/2021 20:12

I love DS and he is wonderful, but life was better before children.

Respectabitch · 10/02/2021 20:12

Despite loving my work and my adult life, I'd still have them. I'd hate to have missed out on them.

They aren't to the teen stage yet, though, so maybe ask me in 15 years. Grin

IndigoHexagon · 10/02/2021 20:13

If I’m totally 100% honest, i don’t think I would have them, no. I love my boys go bits, but no, I wouldn’t.

pointythings · 10/02/2021 20:13

I'd absolutely have kids again, but I'd pick a different man to have them with.

7catsandcounting · 10/02/2021 20:13

My DD is my world, but I wouldn't have another (because of climate change, covid, general state of everything). I sometimes worry she's going to see the end times.

coldwarenigma · 10/02/2021 20:15

Childfree. Covid wouldnt make a difference, they are in their 30s anyway.

TotheletterofthelawTHELETTER · 10/02/2021 20:15

I had crippling post-natal depression, the first 12 months of DD’s life were just a horrific time and I have blocked so much out of my mind as thinking about it terrifies and saddens me.

DD is 10 now and I would do it all again to have her.

SquigglePigs · 10/02/2021 20:16

I'd definitely still have them although perhaps younger if I had the option (only by a few years - early 30's rather than mid). The only difference to my views that covid has lead to is that it's the first time in my adult life I wish I hadn't moved away from where I grew up. So many people are still seeing their parents (and therefore parents are seeing grandchildren) because they are close enough for walks etc. but my parents are 1.5hrs away and my in-laws are 2ish hours away so there's been large chunks of the last year where visits haven't been possible and that's a big % of a 2yr olds life.

Tigger001 · 10/02/2021 20:16

Our DS is amazing, i love parenting there is not one thing that would make me think i would be better child free, not one thing.

flappityflippers1 · 10/02/2021 20:17

I was thinking about this just today - if you’d asked me in the first year I’d have absolutely said childfree.

But DS is 3 now, and finally sleeps fairly consistently - from 12m onwards I’d choose to stay exactly as we are, with 1.

Body had other ideas however and despite being on pill found out I was expecting in September last year. I’m 31 weeks now, and would say it’s only just this week I’ve accepted and got excited about having to face the baby stage again.

Always saw myself with 3 then was quite firm DS would be an only child! Will likely stick to 2 - this has been an awful pregnancy and DH isn’t coming near me again until he’s had the snip 😂

Oysterbabe · 10/02/2021 20:18

I have 2 and wouldn't change a thing.

KatyClaire · 10/02/2021 20:20

My son is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I would choose children every single time.