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Original poster

Would you choose to have children again knowing what you know now or would you choose childfree?

192 replies

Greenland21 · 10/02/2021 19:53

Just that really. If you have children would you make the same decision again or would you decide to stay childfree? Would you think differently because of Covid? Do you think less women will have children now?

OP posts:
DontBeShelfish · 10/02/2021 20:22

I'm glad I had DD but the future and her life within it, the idea of it scares me at times. Climate change is going to fuck everything up. I'm just going to try to give her the tools she'll need to manage in an increasingly different world to the one I grew up in.

EyeDrops · 10/02/2021 20:25

I'd without hesitation have them again. They're 5 and 2, so still little, but the absolute joy I feel from things as simple as their warmth cuddling on to my lap is like nothing else. They're my world. (that's not to say its all roses and happiness, by any means! But I wouldn't be without them!)

DavidsSchitt · 10/02/2021 20:25

I'd have my kids ten times over. They're wonderful Smile

dandelionbayts · 10/02/2021 20:25

Absolutely. I would've had them closer together though. Our first wasn't planned so we waited 4 years for the 'right' time to start TTC our second and then he was born in 2020.

If corona has taught me anything it's that there will never be a right time.

TurquoiseDragon · 10/02/2021 20:25

I would. Just not with the ex I did have them with.

Shmithecat2 · 10/02/2021 20:26

I'd stay child free. Not necessarily because of COVID though. I'm already over 5 years into motherhood and I honestly can't say my life has been better since ds arrived. I love the bones of him, but life is so much harder and less enjoyable now.

Chicchicchicchiclana · 10/02/2021 20:28

Definitely no regrets about having children. The best thing ever (from 20 years on).

Chicchicchicchiclana · 10/02/2021 20:29

I mean, I'm saying this from the perspective of someone who is 20 years into the parenting experience, not that I only love them from the age of 20 up!

Chicchicchicchiclana · 10/02/2021 20:30

I'm sorry that my late teens children have had a horrible time because of covid, but then so has everyone.

Theworldisfullofgs · 10/02/2021 20:31

Definitely do it again.

strawberriesontheNeva · 10/02/2021 20:31

No of course not.

HeidiHaughton · 10/02/2021 20:33

On balance yes. I don't like the baby and toddler stage. Give me kids aged 5-18 any day.
I had many years of child free fun and enjoyed that stage of life but I was ready to have them when we decided to. I'd probably feel very differently if any had additional needs though. I see the lifelong burden that is for other parents j known.

BuggerBognor · 10/02/2021 20:33

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

ktp100 · 10/02/2021 20:34

If I knew how much I was going to love being a Mum I would have given my head a wobble a lot sooner. I was adamant I didn't want kids til I was 36 and had my first at 40 and my ovaries packed in the year after.

Maaaann, I wish I had a house full now!!

Lemonpink88 · 10/02/2021 20:37

I would have them over again, mine are both very little though, very much in the trenches of raising small children. I enjoyed my life so much before the kids but having my boys has made me feel things I don’t think you could child free and it’s made me see the world differently. I didn’t conceive in a covid world but having a baby during a pandemic has made me feel lucky to have created children with my DH and have a life in which love is so present under our roof.

WaxOnFeckOff · 10/02/2021 20:38

I'd absolutely do it again but better next time. I've made many mistakes but like the vast majority of people, I'd walk over hot coals for mine, even though they are young adults now.

I love them more than life itself.

Crosstrainer · 10/02/2021 20:39

Definitely. My two are by far the best thing I’ve ever done. If I could change anything, I’d maybe have started a bit earlier and had a third.

melononapear · 10/02/2021 20:40

@BuggerBognor I was about to say the same. I love my dc's but ds' disability has made life extremely difficult and will continue to do so until the day I die. The future terrifies me, especially what his life will look like when I'm gone. It was something I didn't even think of before I had them and if I had my time again I don't think I choose to go through it again.

If I could have them later in life and with a better man then I'd probably choose differently.

Bourbonbiccy · 10/02/2021 20:43

I couldn't image not having him, it makes me sad at the thought.
He is the best thing that has ever, ever happened to us.
I wouldn't choose anything over that.

MaryShelley1818 · 10/02/2021 20:44

I have a 3yr old DS and a 1 week old DD...I am 42, beyond exhausted, and would do it all again. They're the light of my life.

Silvercatowner · 10/02/2021 20:51

Mine are in their 30s and I wouldn't change a thing. Life without them is unthinkable.

Whydoelephants · 10/02/2021 20:52

Mines adopted and adopting him is hands down the best thing I have ever done. I wouldn’t have my life any other way as that would mean I wouldn’t have him in it. Covid has taught me to stick to one though, if life hasn’t dealt us this I would probably be well on my way to approval for adopting a sibling.

JaninaDuszejko · 10/02/2021 20:52

My DD2 (11) made us apple crumble for tea so I'm quite keen on her at the moment Grin.

I didn't want DC when I was younger but DH was very keen and so eventually we did (he works PT and has a child friendly career and does his fair share of the work, wouldn't have had kids with anyone else). We have 3DC and despite having them in my late 30s/40s I'm very glad we have them and would definitely have them again. Lockdown has been much more enjoyable with 3DC in the house (lets ignore homeschooling which is exhausting) because there's always something going on. I really feel for DM and MIL who have both had houses full of children in the past and now are alone.

8bitgame · 10/02/2021 20:54

I’d still have children. I’d maybe have started earlier so I was less knackered though. We might have had more than one if we’d started earlier. But then I guess the one we had wouldn’t have been DS so in that sense I wouldn’t change a thing.

Covid does not impact my thinking here

Washimal · 10/02/2021 20:58

I love my DC and would die for them without a second thought. But if I had my time again I would stay child free. Nothing to do with covid though.