Husband’s sister-in-law and job

[SweetSouberry]

My husband’s brother is in a relationship with a very successful woman. They are due to be married but obviously now the wedding is up in the air.
She is in a position to put some work in my husband’s, her future brother-in-law’s way but she has refused as she said she would find it awkward if things went wrong.
We could genuinely do with the money.
Am I right to be pissed off?

I understand her perspective - many people don't want to mix business and family. It can end in disaster.

There are plenty of people who say you shouldn't mix business and family. Although I can understand why you wouldn't be happy, I can also understand you SIL's point.

Not much help I know, sorry.

I agree with her.

And judging from this thread, she's probably right to be wary of mixing her business with you...

YABU to be pissed off, she doesn’t owe you or your husband work just because you will be related. If you want work you have to find it yourself.

I too see her point. I got a relative of a friend to do some work for us and it was a big mistake

YABU. Mixing family and business rarely ever ends well.

I understand you need the money, but I run my own business and would never in a million years employ a family member or provide them with work. If something went wrong and I was held responsible (as the employer) it would potentially ruin our relationship forever.

Not worth it.

She is right though isn't she. It would be very awkward if things went wrong. It could ruin a relationship between the two brothers. Maybe she is speaking from experience.

YABU, sorry. It’s like renting or lending money to family or friends; It has the capacity to backfire and sour the relationship.

Never do business with “family” unless you have a super trustful relationship that’s strong enough to come through any blips in a business transaction.
The fallout can ruin families.

I don't blame her for not wanting to get involved if this is your reaction.

YABU that has the potential to backfire so badly, she's absolutely right

Yeah sorry, YABU

I agree with her. It would be difficult for both sides.

Even if you were all best of friends, which your OP strongly suggests is not the case, she is right to be reticent! it could go horribly wrong... then what?

YABU. She's smart not to mix business and family

Your SIL is right. Mixing business and family relationships rarely end well.

After all, it's already driving a wedge between you.

Yabu

Business and family are rarely a good mix.

Your sense of entitlement shows she is definitely in the right and would probably fare best keeping a distance.

I agree with her to be honest. I have seen what it did to my family. It ended up both families having no contact for over 5 years.

She is so right.

I can see why you’re pissed off but equally I can quite sympathise with her.

I reluctantly agreed to bring in one of DH’s friends to do some work for us because he needed the money and it went quite wrong and it was tremendously awkward to resolve and has affected their friendship. Never again.

I'm a freelance writer and editor and run a small team for a website design company. A few friends and family members have asked in the past whether I had jobs for them. I always put them in touch with people who might be able to help where I could, but I would never hire them for my team. There's just too much potential for problems down the line.

She is 100% right. I've learnt from experience that giving family - even good, hard working family members - work is usually a disaster. It's unfortunate but think of how awkward it must be for her to be put in that position

Yup, your response totally backs up her decision. I think she sounds pretty wise.

YABU. Family and business don't mix. She's a canny one.

She's absolutely right.
Too risky.