Husband’s sister-in-law and job

[SweetSouberry]

My husband’s brother is in a relationship with a very successful woman. They are due to be married but obviously now the wedding is up in the air.
She is in a position to put some work in my husband’s, her future brother-in-law’s way but she has refused as she said she would find it awkward if things went wrong.
We could genuinely do with the money.
Am I right to be pissed off?

What does your husband do for a living?

DH’s company retained my DB’s company to work for them on an ongoing basis. It wasn’t the right thing to do. They weren’t a good fit and it was all just awkward. DB and DH are both quite laid-back people otherwise it could have been really difficult.

its really normal and common for people to not want to employ family members, as if they have to criticise or they dont like anything about the work etc it can cause massive family rifts. It depends what it is though.
painting a few rooms id expect to be ok, but building walls etc, not so much

Family/friends and money dont mix well.

I think she's very wise.

He’s perfectly good at what he does.

If that were genuinely true, she wouldn’t be worried about things going wrong.

I’d be wary. Money, religion and politics are minefields. Unless it was a contractual Jon legally binding etc etc between 2 companies but then it could be seen as bias if it was put out to tender and he was successful over 2nd place company. She’s have to be sure his was the ear and be super hot on every detail

It’s not her responsibility to help you and it has quite often big problems to mix business and family

Think you need to move past your in laws obsession! I doubt your sIL gives you a fraction of the amount of headspace you seem to dedicate to her.

There doesn't even need to be money involved for problems to occur. I once offered to coach a young relative for his resit that he's already failed. When he failed again, because he was a lazy little git, suddenly it was all my fault!

YABU on this thread alone, but based the others I feel sorry for the SIL-to-be.

Ok I get it! Honestly! She has her own business and DH is a tradesman. It was actually his brother that gave him the heads up.
DH must be good at what he does as his business partner is his ex boss.
Thank you to those mentioning other posts. I didn’t realise I was obsessed by her.
I won’t post again about her.

I'd be a bit miffed too if he could do it and you need the money.

I hope something else comes up for him.

There's a reason you don't mix business with friends or family. She's right sorry.

Hmm, do you have an underlying dislike/jealousy of SIL? You've posted about 5 threads about her.

YABU I agree with her completely. Probably been burned before...

It's never a good idea to mix business with family op. Me and DH have suffered because of this and took a massive hit on our business. My dad also suffered this from his brother, this had a massive impact on our family. She isn't bu. You say she's a successful business person, this is how people become successful. They put emotions and family relations aside and think about their business and what's right for their business only.

I'd do all I could to help my family if I was ever in that position. I can maybe understand a little hesitancy, but family is more important.

Considering you clearly feel it is your right to receive help from her, I can see she has a point.

You are furious because she doesn’t give jobs to your husband, how would that work if she has to correct his work or let him go in the future? She knows you both wouldn’t be able to keep the required professional distance you need to keep when working with friends or family.

@SweetSouberry

Ok! I get it that you all agree with her. I have reread my OP a couple of times and I don’t see how it comes across as entitled but hey never mind. Thank you.

The fact you are pissed off is the give away..

DH must be good at what he does as his business partner is his ex boss

I don't doubt it, OP, but when working with family there can be a lot more than just the "nuts and bolts" of the job involved ... and sorry, but given your overall attitude to her I can quite see why she'd think this won't work

There's a reason she's successful, most likely because she makes effective business decisions. Employing family is not one of those.

The SIL's business involves property ownership. OP's husband is a tradesman. Considering the number of people who are dicked around by tradesmen disappearing off the job to do something else, not finishing jobs, disappearing with deposits, etc etc, I really don't blame her at all.

Your DH going into business with his ex boss means almost nothing; certainly nothing in terms of what the SIL is looking for - an arms length business arrangement with someone she can sue the ass off if needs be.

She's successful for a reason. She makes good decisions.

How many does we see a situation like this and it does go wrong.... Its always the same response, don't mix business and pleasure. Recipe for disaster.