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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who does this gift belong to?

344 replies

BabyofMine · 02/02/2021 12:10

A group of work friends buy a gift for another work friend.

One work friend (not me so as not to drip feed!) organises it, collects the money, orders the item and is going to deliver it to the work friend.

Because of some mess up with the company, the company send the organiser a nearly duplicate item worth basically the same, as an apology for messing them around so much etc.

Whose is second duplicate gift from the company?

YABU= belongs to the organiser
YANBU= belongs to the person the original gift was meant for

(The YABU/NBU choices were random btw - I genuinely don’t have an opinion either way, I am one of the “contributors”)

OP posts:
dancemom · 02/02/2021 12:12

Belongs to the whole group I'd say but if it can't be split or shared I'd offer to the organiser first.

Definitely not the recipient of the original gift though.

Andbearsohmy · 02/02/2021 12:12

I'd be really annoyed if the organiser kept it. It should go to the recipient of the gift.

edwinbear · 02/02/2021 12:13

I'd say luck is in for the organiser, who went to all the hassle of organising the gift. It's one of life's little bonuses and nobody is out of pocket.

Original poster
BabyofMine · 02/02/2021 12:14

Sorry really tried to give all the information but no it’s not something that can be split/shared unfortunately.

OP posts:
LaceyBetty · 02/02/2021 12:14

I would let the organiser have it as the person who had to deal with being messed around. That was the purpose of the extra gift.

Seeline · 02/02/2021 12:14

If the duplicate was sent because of the company messing around, then the organiser should keep it as I presume they were the one who has had to deal with the company making things difficult.

Moltenpink · 02/02/2021 12:15

I assume the organiser had to deal with the messing around, so I’d say it’s theirs for the inconvenience

Spied · 02/02/2021 12:15

Belongs to the organiser although as a group of people all contributed money to the original order, I think it would be gracious to either give it to charity or put names in a hat for it.

DarceyDashwood · 02/02/2021 12:16

I’d let the organiser keep it as a thank you for organising the collection and gift and presumably having a bit of hassle to deal with. Unless it’s something that can easily be split up between the people who contributed 🤷‍♀️

luxxlisbon · 02/02/2021 12:16

The organiser was the one who was messed around, the duplicate was given to them for the hassle.

Why would you give the other person 2 of the same gifts?

Swingometer · 02/02/2021 12:16

I would expect the organiser to keep it tbh

Most 'items' can't be easily split so can't really be shared between all that contributed

It was gifted by the company to the organiser as a gesture of goodwill so it belongs to that person unless she chooses to share or donate it

Theunamedcat · 02/02/2021 12:16

Why not keep it for the next birthday?

Justcallmebebes · 02/02/2021 12:17

The organiser for doing well, the organising. I've taken on these jobs at work in the past, collecting the money, chasing those who haven't paid, sourcing the gift etc, etc and it's a complete ball ache

HildegardNightingale · 02/02/2021 12:19

Put all the contributors names in a hat and pick one out. No arguments then.

Bluntness100 · 02/02/2021 12:19

The organiser. The recipient doesn’t need two ans wasn’t messed around, the organiser had to do the grunt work and the gift can’t be split so they should get to keep it,

GU24Mum · 02/02/2021 12:19

Does the organiser want it? Is it very valuable or a bunch of flowers/food gift? Are you all seeing each other in person or sorting it out remotely?

If, say, it's flowers then the organiser gets to keep it unless is allergic and can pass to someone else.

If it's a £500 unsplittable present (presumably not!) and the organiser wants it, I'd be tempted to offer a small amidst to the others. If it's not perishable bit is valuable, too could bid on it between you and split the money between everyone else?

Intrigued to know what it is!!

Bluntness100 · 02/02/2021 12:20

The organiser was the one who was messed around, the duplicate was given to them for the hassle

Exactly. Why should anyone else get it? That’s just grabby.

Dannydevitoiloveyourart · 02/02/2021 12:21

Belongs to the organiser - it was clearly an apology for the hassle of organising so can’t see how it would belong to anyone else since no one else organised the gift.

Also it wouldn’t make sense any other way as:

1.there’s no point giving the recipient a duplicate gift, and

  1. the other contributors didn’t pay for the value of the duplicate apology gift nor did they contribute in other ways (organising) so have no entitlement to it.
OhioOhioOhio · 02/02/2021 12:21

The organiser. It's bad taste for anyone else to claim it.

ScrapThatThen · 02/02/2021 12:21

Organiser should offer it to others and others should say 'no, you keep it'

Imiss2019 · 02/02/2021 12:22

The organiser - the recipient doesn’t need two and the others didn’t have any hassle of sorting the original gift or the mess up. Unless it’s a brand new car I couldn’t get excited about the organiser getting a freebie

Notapheasantplucker · 02/02/2021 12:22

Organiser should get to keep it.

LemonTT · 02/02/2021 12:23

It’s a gratuity from the employer to the organiser. For something that inconvenienced the organiser.

The organiser did the ask of the group.

Sometimes there is a reward for doing thankless tasks.

Anyone moaning in the group is an arse.

buckeejit · 02/02/2021 12:25

Yabu - belongs to the organiser who endured the hassle

Becstar90 · 02/02/2021 12:25

Organiser.

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