Who does this gift belong to?

[BabyofMine]

A group of work friends buy a gift for another work friend.

One work friend (not me so as not to drip feed!) organises it, collects the money, orders the item and is going to deliver it to the work friend.

Because of some mess up with the company, the company send the organiser a nearly duplicate item worth basically the same, as an apology for messing them around so much etc.

Whose is second duplicate gift from the company?

YABU= belongs to the organiser
YANBU= belongs to the person the original gift was meant for

(The YABU/NBU choices were random btw - I genuinely don’t have an opinion either way, I am one of the “contributors”)

If it was me and it was worth an amount worth bothering about I'd try and sell it and split the money.

Or actually if it was me I'd probably not have told the rest of the staff about the free one haha 😂 perks of being the organiser!

I have been in the organiser’s position. Several phone calls to chase the company, going to the post office to pick it up 3 times as it was delivered damaged so had to leave for work an hour early on these days as I didn’t drive, several e-mails back and forward and when they sent me a gift card as compensation this exact thing happened. I took it in, slammed it down in front of the people arguing over it and said “ tell you what, next time YOU DO IT!!! YOU TAKE TIME OUR OF YOUR DAY TO SORT THIS SHIT OUT BUT DON’T EVER ASK ME TO DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS EVER AGAIN! Ungrateful sods “ they sheepishly came back before I went home that day and said for me to keep the gift card which I told them to keep or raffle off for charity I didn’t want it. Next collection came around and they had the cheek to ask me to do it you can imagine what my answer was and I will never do it again. Now if someone is leaving, going on may leave etc I get them a small gift from me personally. Never ever again!

The organiser should get to keep it, they did all the organising and chasing. Unexpected perk and the others are just jealous and want something for nothing. Personally I would just feel they got lucky as a result of doing all the donkey work and good luck to them.

As to the recipient of the gift getting two of the same that's just barmy.

If the organiser decides they don't feel comfortable keeping the freebie, then they could organise a work raffle, charging a decent price for the tickets and donating the proceeds to charity, but this has to be their choice.

The Organiser of course and I would go right off the grabby people who want it for themselves. When things go wrong is is a massive faff and hassle being the organiser, you're handling other people's money and having to give updates/explain delays and deal with all the sorting.

Everyone who paid, received what they paid for.

If organiser had a voucher for buy one get one free or something then absolutely split it.

But organiser received a gift specifically compensating the work that she put in, nobody else put that work in, so nobody else has a claim on the gift.

Organiser then having to organise a way to share this gift with everyone else who didn't put work in is just such a pisstake.

This is a total no brainier.
Think of the original gift and the compensation gift as being 2 different things.
Gift A - paid for with money, by the group, and therefore owned by the group. They choose to give it to the recipient. All fine.
Gift B - “paid for” with hassle and hard work, owner by the person who did the hard work ie the organiser. It’s completely separate from gift A, which was paid for with money.

Of course the gift belongs to the organiser, anything else would be ridiculous. Think of it as “payment” for going through the hassle of organising!

Either the organiser keeps it, especially if they do all birthdays etc, or you draw lots!

And those who are grumbling - the organiser should say something like, given the current issues that you all should take it in turns to arrange gifts, she will draw up a rota and send it round and then bow out until it is her time again!! Last person, one before her that is, on the list makes the next rota!

See how quickly they back off!

@KihoBebiluPute

I haven't voted because I don't think either option is appropriate.

Was the hassle the organiser had to deal with really worth £100? I suspect not.

I reckon the organiser should keep it, but should spend c£50 of their own money spreading the joy around in some way so that they are only getting £50 of net benefit. This could either be by refunding the contributions among the colleagues (if there's sufficient info about who gave what) or by buying a treat for all colleagues to share (if there is a sensible way to do that, given that presumably there's lots of WFH etc) like boxes of donuts/muffins etc. Or the spare item could be sold as BrandNew and the organiser should get 50% of the proceeds as their compensation for the hassle they endured, and the other 50% should go towards the kitty next time there is a collection for something and everyone can be told they can give a little less than they usually do because there is some money in the kitty already.

When I was travelling for work, and experienced some massive delays that were very boring and time-consuming. I got partial refunds from the train company and I considered that money to be mine as it was fair compensation for the inconvenience I experienced, not my employers who bought the tickets in the first place. But in that case the compensation was rationally proportional to the inconvenience suffered. I think the problem in this case is that the compensation seems way out of proportion.

Why should the organiser be out of pocket because they were messed around? They might not have £50 to spare, and have already contributed far more than the others to the original gift in terms of time and effort.

The gift that people contributed to was delivered to the recipient as expected - the duplicate was given to the person organising by the company as compensation to them for the hassle and trouble involved with the ordering process. No one else can have any claim to it. If people are annoyed, they should offer to do the organising next time.

Why should the organiser be out of pocket because they were messed around? They might not have £50 to spare, and have already contributed far more than the others to the original gift in terms of time and effort.
Yes! I’m shocked someone even suggested this! Absolutely crazy!

What do the cats bum hole faces actually want to do about it? People are such bloody arseholes about feeling left out in situations like this, it’s a bit grabby to even think they deserve a share of the freebie when they’ve not had to be dealing with sorting out the mess that caused the freebie.

Organiser.

And makes mental note that if I am ever the organizer in a similar position to not mention receiving the gift at all!!

I reckon the organiser should keep it, but should spend c£50 of their own money spreading the joy around in some way so that they are only getting £50 of net benefit.

So OP should be out or pocket £50?? She may be getting an item worth £100 but it's for her inconvenience. She shouldn't have to pay.

What have the moaners suggested the organiser does with the extra gift, chop it up and distribute it evenly amongst the group.
I am on the side of organiser, it was for their inconvenience, so unexpected but welcome bonus for them.

If it's something that can't be split or a refund got for then I would say the organiser

@NoPointInWednesdays

I have been in the organiser’s position. Several phone calls to chase the company, going to the post office to pick it up 3 times as it was delivered damaged so had to leave for work an hour early on these days as I didn’t drive, several e-mails back and forward and when they sent me a gift card as compensation this exact thing happened. I took it in, slammed it down in front of the people arguing over it and said “ tell you what, next time YOU DO IT!!! YOU TAKE TIME OUR OF YOUR DAY TO SORT THIS SHIT OUT BUT DON’T EVER ASK ME TO DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS EVER AGAIN! Ungrateful sods “ they sheepishly came back before I went home that day and said for me to keep the gift card which I told them to keep or raffle off for charity I didn’t want it. Next collection came around and they had the cheek to ask me to do it you can imagine what my answer was and I will never do it again. Now if someone is leaving, going on may leave etc I get them a small gift from me personally. Never ever again!

I've oft e been organiser and the exact thing has happened to me... Endless trips /conversations /to ING and fro ING... All in my own time....I even took sodding annual leave to arrange... Not at all straightforward..

The gift place stuffed up and sent me a 30£ gift card... I didn't tell the team as I KNEW this is exactly what they would do...

It is ALWAYS the folk who NEVER do anything like this... Apart from chuck a couple of quid in that suddenly want 'their share', sod that!

I dont get why it would be for the reciever, why would they even need 2?

I'm torn between weather it should be for the organiser (as it was to compensate for their wasted time)
or
If it should belong to contributers who I assume all paid equally for the first item

I bet all these posters saying it belongs to all the contributors/ put names in a hat etc. have never organised a collection themselves but happily take advantage when someone else offers. The duplicate should definitely stay with the organiser.

Legally it belongs to the organiser as they were the one messed around.

Morally it belongs to the team. I would put it aside to use as another gift if possible. But only as long as the next birthday person didn’t know it was a freebie!

Organiser gets it. Without question.

If people are being that sodding awkward, give the free gift to the original recipient, get a refund on the original gift, and give everyone their money back. Then NEVER bloody organise anything again.

Belongs to the organiser. It's an apology for inconveniencing her.

If the gift was for the person that had to deal with being messed around with then that person is definitely the organiser and they should get the gift.

Organiser.
They were the ones messed around.

Charity and raffle is bonkers - it requires the organiser to do even more work for something that they have been given for being messed around for doing something for someone else. So double the hassle with losing more time.

And don't ask the organiser to give money to contributors. They may like the item but that doesn't mean they would have bought it anyway. If they have to give money to the others they are even more out of pocket for an item they originally weren't buying for themselves but instead is compensation for wasted time.

Organiser keeps it. Contributors can stop whining.

Organizing a collection can be a thankless and time consuming task. Sometimes there is a bit of hostility (from people like me who rarely contribute to collections and see them as a racket). Then there is chasing around to make sure everyone gets asked, signs the gift card, and so on. Plus the compromise of buying and sourcing something deemed acceptable to all which the proposed recipient will actually enjoy and find pleasing.

Its not a task Id volunteer for.

If the organizer was also "messed about" by the company then the gift was clearly intended to compensate them for all of the above plus the added hassle from management.

@KihoBebiluPute "Was the hassle the organiser had to deal with really worth £100? I suspect not."
The company are the ones who decided it was worth it. Presumably they don't love to give out free things worth £100 so the F up and annoyance must have been fairly substantial for them to offer in the first place.

Yes you are totally right @IamtheDevilsAvocado they don’t want to use their precious time to organise anything just stick their money in and take credit then moan about it if anything goes wrong or it’s something they don’t like. I don’t think they believed me when I said I wouldn’t do it again but they soon got a shock! I should have kept my mouth shut and not said anything but my friend said I should complain and I said I didn’t have to as they were sending me a gift card to apologise. Should have looked over my shoulder as one of the office gossips were in the break area at the time and sent an e-Mail asking if people thought it was right I kept the gift card blah blah blah it was such an embarrassing shit show tbh