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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for a pat on the back RE weight loss - sad about DH's reaction

340 replies

FluffyBlueJumper · 01/02/2021 07:50

Since mid-October I have lost a lot of weight (over 4 stone). I have gone from a size 18 to an 8-10.
DH has not said a thing, so yesterday I playfully asked him to feel my back, because all the padding has gone.
The only thing he said was "Ew, your skin has changed, it is like old lady's skin". (FYI I am 39 and there is no loose skin hanging off my body).

I am feeling crushed. It has made me realise that I cannot even remember the last time he complimented me. It is always little digs, little put downs.

Can you please tell me I have done great? Wink

OP posts:
Bellofbelfastcity · 01/02/2021 07:51

How did you lose 4 stone in less than 4 months?

Theunamedcat · 01/02/2021 07:52

Congratulations! Thats fantastic work!

Original poster
FluffyBlueJumper · 01/02/2021 07:52

Low-calorie keto, 16:8, strength training and an iron will (I did not even have a mouthful of carbs on Christmas day).

OP posts:
Fortunefavours1 · 01/02/2021 07:52

Well done, that's bloody phenomenal!!!

I'm trying to lose weight atm, but even a few pounds is hard. You managed 4 stones. 4!!! Please tell me how you did it.

HavelockVetinari · 01/02/2021 07:53

Well done, that's great! Your H sounds like a prick.

Oreservoir · 01/02/2021 07:54

Congratulations.
Don't be put off by your mean dh. You rightly feel good about yourself.

JaneNorman · 01/02/2021 07:55

You’ve done amazing!

Sounds like a classic case of he’s worried other men will now find you attractive.

Fortunefavours1 · 01/02/2021 07:55

If you ltb, you could lose a whole lot more...

You deserve a loving partner who celebrates you, no matter your size. Not one who puts you down and refuses to acknowledge your achievements.

LApprentiSorcier · 01/02/2021 07:55

That's an amazing loss, well done! I hope you have treated yourself to some lovely clothes in your new size. I bet you have much more energy and zest for life, as well as looking so much healthier.

Did you follow any particular diet?

Your husband is a dickhead. Ignore his comment. If he's always making digs like this, he too might be something you want to think about losing.

Don't let his meaningless remark tarnish your sense of achievement.

Glitterandunicorns · 01/02/2021 07:55

Congratulations on your fantastic achievement! You must have worked really hard.

It sounds like you have a DH problem. If you can't remember the last time he said something nice, and he always puts you down, does he have any redeeming features? It sounds like a pretty miserable way to live.

Original poster
FluffyBlueJumper · 01/02/2021 07:55

Thanks everyone. My Mum died in late 2019 - she would have been happy for me but now I have no one IRL to have a little boast.

OP posts:
HerMammy · 01/02/2021 07:56

He sounds like a jealous prick.
Feeling insecure now his wife is looking great, I’ll have a guess he’s no adonis.
Well done in your weight loss, iron will 💪🏼

YouJustDoYou · 01/02/2021 07:56

Well bloody op- your dh is a arsehole and is also probably one of "those" men who hates it both when he feels his wife is overweight but also even more hates it when she actually gets healthy and slimmed down, because in his warped petty jealous mind other men will now see you differently and his constant previous attempts at put downs won't have a hold on you anymore.

Shimmyshimmycocobop · 01/02/2021 07:56

Insecure men don't like their partners losing weight as then other men might find them attractive.
He doesn't sound like a keeper op, does he have any good points?

sandgrown · 01/02/2021 07:57

Is your DH big? Could he be jealous what you have achieved? Well done. That’s amazing!

YouJustDoYou · 01/02/2021 07:57

That should've read "well bloody done"

Rowenasemolina · 01/02/2021 07:57

Amazing! Fantastic! Well done. Your partner is horrible

RJnomore1 · 01/02/2021 07:58

That’s a very rapid weight loss. Has your losing stabilised now and you are maintaining your weight?

Original poster
FluffyBlueJumper · 01/02/2021 07:58

LApprentiSorcier I did treat myself to new clothes in the sales ("spending his hard-earned money") and I am feeling great, and definitely healthier. There is no way I could do those jumping lunges with a BMI over 30.

OP posts:
SquatBetty · 01/02/2021 07:58

You are brilliant! That's an amazing achievement. And to echo everyone else - your 'D' H is a prick.

Shinyletsbebadguys · 01/02/2021 07:59

You have done amazingly I'm Keto (2 years now and switch between keto and low carb to maintain) , it is not remotely as easy as people think and you had to have been really strong to keep going. I well remember the first few weeks being brutal and the last few seemed to creep as you get near goal.

You have done amazingly.

As an aside I genuinely would question my relationship in these circumstances (not necessarily LTB) and have a serious ,set a line not to be crossed ...that is crappy of him.

My DP fully admits he is baffled by womens reaction to weight but would not ever say anything like that. And he can absolutely put his foot in his mouth regularly. I would seriously be putting a line in the stand here.

Please don't let it get to you you have done brilliantly.

NurseP · 01/02/2021 07:59

Well done! That is amazing! Screw him and his shitty comments!! Star

SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 01/02/2021 07:59

Congratulations, that is amazing! Your DH is a dick!

Dcadmam001 · 01/02/2021 07:59

Well done that’s amazing. I’m really pleased for you

M0rT · 01/02/2021 07:59

Huge Congratulations on the weight loss Flowers
Enjoy feeling happier in your lovely 39 year old skin, and stronger with the strength training.
So sorry for the loss of your DM.

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