To ask for a pat on the back RE weight loss - sad about DH's reaction

[FluffyBlueJumper]

Since mid-October I have lost a lot of weight (over 4 stone). I have gone from a size 18 to an 8-10.
DH has not said a thing, so yesterday I playfully asked him to feel my back, because all the padding has gone.
The only thing he said was "Ew, your skin has changed, it is like old lady's skin". (FYI I am 39 and there is no loose skin hanging off my body).

I am feeling crushed. It has made me realise that I cannot even remember the last time he complimented me. It is always little digs, little put downs.

Can you please tell me I have done great?

Op you look great, slim and healthy :) (and also very pretty although I realise not the point of the thread!)

I know so easy for people to say LTB but you have your whole life ahead of you, and it sounds like you're not getting anything positive from the relationship. I can't imagine how hard it must be with 4 DCs though. Hope you have lots of IRL support and people you can chat this through with.

It's men like this that are the reason why almost every feature on a woman who has put on and then lost a large amount of weight has a little comment just before the last 'and now I feel fantastic and confident in anything I wear, including a swimming costume' saying ''sadly, we separated last year...I bought a pair of running shoes and completed my first 5K this spring'.

@SchrodingersImmigrant you’re always hilarious! 😂

Congrats, OP. But it sounds like you have one last bit of weight to lose - him!!!

You're beautiful. I lost four stone once and I thought it might make my husband fancy me again. It didn't.
We're not together anymore.
I then became unwell and have regained all the weight, I can't exercise due to disability now but what is 16:8?
Also your husband is jealous and insecure.

@famousforwrongreason

You're beautiful. I lost four stone once and I thought it might make my husband fancy me again. It didn't. We're not together anymore. I then became unwell and have regained all the weight, I can't exercise due to disability now but what is 16:8? Also your husband is jealous and insecure.

Me too famousforwrongreason on losing 4 stone but not the husband. But I have put over 1st back and more since last year when I lost part-time job and voluntary work so all motivation to go out. I am amazed at the OP's sheer resolution to do what she is doing.

Don't know if the OP will come back to answer you, but I understand
16:8 is a method of dieting where you fast for 16 hours (usually overnight) then confine your eating to the 8 hours left of the day so your consumption is much reduced.

funnily enough I more or less do this but all the 'wrong' hours hence why I am still up at this time but will probably sleep till after 11- 12 then eat in the pm. But I am eating all the 'wrong' things as well as doing nothing active . am seriously contemplating a bowl of porridge right now. I went out shopping for the first time in 10 days but only after 5 pm and got the bus back. My fitness level has gone way down.
I know the answer is just to start doing something I mean but I cannot find the resolve.

Wow! You have done so well! You should feel very proud of yourself. I'm sorry that your success has been tainted by your husband's behaviour. You are proving every day how strong and determined you are. It is sad to realise that the person who should be your partner in life, share your successes with and support you like no-one else is selfish and spiteful. His behaviour is NOT a reflection on you. You are stronger than you know. Happier times are on your horizon.

You are amazing, but Jesus Christ, please fuck him off.

@famousforwrongreason 16:8 is as cateycloggs described.

I eat between noon and 8PM.
It was not a big lifestyle change because I am not hungry in the mornings. It forced me to put a stop to mindless snacking. It also helped regulate my appetite (I believe it has to do with insulin levels). I intend to keep eating this way long-term.

It is still a little tricky in the evenings (but much less than before). I find it hard to stop eating once I have started, so I tend to brush my teeth 15 minutes after I have finished dinner to mark the end of my eating window.

Well doen, just 14 stone of useless husband to go! This man likes you in you place and not getting ideas above your station thinking you're better than him. It really is that simple.

That's a tremendous achievement and well done to you. You know yourself the challenge of sustaining your eating regime and fitness and I wish you well with that. I am horrified at the abusive nature of your husband and sad to read about the harm his behaviour has done to you. Not easy for you to up and leave when you have put your life into marriage and children but you can't have a man who is supposed to be your loving support in life treating you with contempt and cruelty. It isn't normal or acceptable but nasty and vicious and I don't for a moment attribute it to your weight loss. It's hateful and you are on the receiving end. Can you gather in-person support and sustenance around you from family or friends as you need that very much, along with online support from mumsnet.

@FluffyBlueJumper Thanks for the tip about brushing teeth after a meal as a signal to yourself that eating is Done!

Thanks op and @cateycloggs for sharing the 16:8 info. All the best Catey, my sleep is very disrupted atm too

You look fantastic, your legs are fabulous, and he...well, he doesn’t sound like a great catch to be honest. If he can’t be happy for you and share in your successes and build you up, what’s the point in him being your partner?

You are inspiring me! I’ve got 5 pounds to go before I get to 4 stone lost (started in September). Sadly I have another 4 stone to go so I’ll only be half way . My tracker says I’m aiming to get to 8 stone by September 🤞🤞🤞. God knows what happens then!!