To ask for a pat on the back RE weight loss - sad about DH's reaction

[FluffyBlueJumper]

Since mid-October I have lost a lot of weight (over 4 stone). I have gone from a size 18 to an 8-10.
DH has not said a thing, so yesterday I playfully asked him to feel my back, because all the padding has gone.
The only thing he said was "Ew, your skin has changed, it is like old lady's skin". (FYI I am 39 and there is no loose skin hanging off my body).

I am feeling crushed. It has made me realise that I cannot even remember the last time he complimented me. It is always little digs, little put downs.

Can you please tell me I have done great?

well done!

maybe it's time to lose the next 14st (ltb)

Your DH sounds like a total prick, tbh. Does he have a tendency for awful compliments aimed at bringing you down?

btw, you look totally amazing, well done!

You look fab OP enjoy your new you and kick him into touch. If he can’t be pleased for you and say something nice he really doesn’t deserve you and you certainly deserve better than him.

I really need to loose weight and get motivated and keep hearing about keto and low carb or low carb keto. Did you used a book you would recommend or you tube or a website please?

Thanks

To the posters who mentioned the importance of maintenance, I am being extremely careful and I actually find it harder than weight loss. At least during the weight loss phase, I did not have to ask myself "Can I have..." because the answer was always no .

@reprehensibleme when I try to talk to him about me feelings, he waves his hands around saying "look at me, look at me! I'm a pwincess", then goes on a rant about spoilt, whiny "Western women". Last time was on Christmas Day, when I explained very calmly that not getting a single present from him upset me and made me feel unappreciated.

Wow! No idea why your husband is such a shit head. Is he jealous of your dedication and what you've achieved? That's all I can think

Ah OP you look fantastic well done!! 🎉🎉

He’s a prick get rid x

Well, I say in 99% that it can be worked out between lartners with communication, but I think you should continue your amazing weightloss by dropping another approx 70kg. This is a different weightloss where you require a help from divorce lawyer.

Seriously, one stupid comment, ok. But with the others, it shows pattern.

Just read your update I'm sorry OP but he sounds vile.... Why are you with someone putting you down like this? No presents on Christmas day?

Leave him. He does not love you. This is a man who loves himself.

I'm not an aggressive woman by any means but reading your post made me want to kick your husband hard up the arse. How dare he treat you like that....you look magnificent

@Spring2021 I did not use a book or a particular website, although I have heard lots of positive things about Mumsnet's low carb bootcamp.
I don't think I really went into ketosis because my carbs stayed around 40-50g a day, all from vegetables (avoiding sugary ones such as carrots). I don't have breakfast. Lunch is a huge salad with ham or bacon. A typical dinner is steak with green beans sautéed in butter and a piece of cheese. I have a protein-based mid-afternoon snack (eggs, ham, cheese... with some peppers or cucumber)

You look fabulous OP! A massive well done to you!

Was he horrible before you started losing weight?

I would say he is definitely jealous someone has probably passed comment about how good you look and he realises he is punching above his weight so feels threatened so he is trying to chip away at your self esteem.

@FluffyBlueJumper

To the posters who mentioned the importance of maintenance, I am being extremely careful and I actually find it harder than weight loss. At least during the weight loss phase, I did not have to ask myself "Can I have..." because the answer was always no .

@reprehensibleme when I try to talk to him about me feelings, he waves his hands around saying "look at me, look at me! I'm a pwincess", then goes on a rant about spoilt, whiny "Western women". Last time was on Christmas Day, when I explained very calmly that not getting a single present from him upset me and made me feel unappreciated.

WTF? Why are you with him? He sounds like an out and out misogynist. Are you in the U.K.?

You've done brilliantly! I'm trying to lose weight at the moment too so this is very inspiring!

You look absolutely wonderful OP, well done!

I was all set to say that you need to sit down with your DH and have a serious conversation about the way he treats you and deliver a few home truths, then I saw your update about the fact he didn't bother to get you any Christmas presents and when you told him you were hurt he responded with a tantrum and ridiculed you. I'm really sorry but I don't think you are married to a good man, that is not love, and I would be seriously considering leaving somebody who treated me with such contempt. You deserve to be with somebody who loves and appreciates you and who has got your back - your DH sounds like a very small person, mean, thoughtless and not on your side.

@reprehensibleme when I try to talk to him about me feelings, he waves his hands around saying "look at me, look at me! I'm a pwincess", then goes on a rant about spoilt, whiny "Western women"

Is he from deepest, darkest ** himself? . He sounds like an unpleasant misogynist.

Hope you’re saving the money that would have gone on his Christmas present for a lawyer.

@FluffyBlueJumper ahh no I wouldn’t stand for that after reading your latest post, LTB.

Gah! Misread the Christmas presents bit. . What a horrible wee man.

Come on OP you know you have smashed it! Is he jealous? You must feel phenomenal for your achievement but I understand how you would feel if he doesn't even bat an eyelid the git! Dress how you want for you, straighten your crown and keep your head up.

Other people have said what needs to be said about your whiny, unappreciative DH but I wanted to add my voice to those who say well done for all that weight loss - you have done so well and you should be really, really proud.

I hope that gives you some confidence to make other changes in your life as you can certainly see them through!

Wow that's amazing! Well done you! Perhaps your husband prefers bigger curvy women? So that's why he's upset you're slim now? Ignore him and carry on your good work! I follow the 5:2 fasting lifestyle and I love it. I've lost 3 stone 7lbs since last June! I was getting so big my knees and back hurt. I thought it impossible to lose the weight. But fasting makes it so easy! I'm now in size 10s!!! But aiming for another stone to fit into size 8s!!! Fingers crossed that happens for me by this summer!

OP, you look great.

And you should seriously consider dumping your H.

Constant put downs? No gifts at Christmas? I bet there's other stuff, too.

I've so far managed to shift 1.5 stone, after spending years comfort eating while living with my ex. Has very much been a relief that I'm no longer dealing with constant negging and lack of any appreciation. He didn't even bother helping the DC get me anything for Mother's Day when they were too young to do anything themselves.

Life is so much better without him.

Wow what a nasty man. OP I hope you're okay after a good rant on here. Is he always this way? Do you have any good times together at all?

P.s. Well done!!! I am trying to lose 2 stone currently and had a pizza last night 🙄🙄🙄