Covid has made this website toxic

[Asrui]

From last March to now there has been a preponderance of sanctimonious, patronising posts on here judging others and trying to depress people. It has just shown such a nasty side to people and imo the moderators of the site have been at fault for not having intervened to close down these posters.

I wonder if some people take MN Talk a bit too seriously? Everyone's just here messing about on the internet really. Probably avoiding things they should be doing.
Take a step back and take things with a pinch of salt a bit more.

It has made it more intense though the brexit referendum and result was petty intense.

I've been on MN for about 17 years. It wasn't always like this, I remember when if you were on it, you basically knew everyone else on it - as far as you can know internet friends at least.

It's not the same site as back then. It's huge now, for a start. And I think there's been a nasty side way before coronavirus.
I see a sanctimonious or nasty post now, and I just roll my eyes. But I know there are lots of people who are a lot more sensitive who would take it to heart. Shame really, because I have met some of the best people in the world from this site.

AIBU has always been toxic. People will be nasty just because they can. Saying that, it's just a bit of entertainment reading AIBU.

We're in the middle of a long, drawn out emergency.

Everyone is on their last nerve.

Yes, people are being more cuntish than usual but it's to be expected really.

Especially here where a lot of people are juggling all sorts of shit - loneliness, anxiety, depression, home schooling, financial crises, long COVID, being cooped up with man children, etc.

I suspect (hope!) that once this is done things will calm down a bit after the years of Brexit and then this shite.

That being said I don't want MNHQ to be any more involved than they are. I agree with PP that this is an adult's site and robust discussions are fine, even when they're a bit cunty.

We can all choose to ignore the threads that are obviously going to become a bun fight. Just don't read any threads to do with COVID if it bothers you...

I open certain threads and think 'I don't know why I'm reading this because I can feel my blood pressure rising' so I just close it down and choose to look at something else.

There have been plenty of positive and nice threads over the past few months (although less than usual because most of us have nothing to talk about )

@Asrui

From last March to now there has been a preponderance of sanctimonious, patronising posts on here judging others and trying to depress people. It has just shown such a nasty side to people and imo the moderators of the site have been at fault for not having intervened to close down these posters.

Ironic

I joined in 2011 @TammyTwoSwanson, I think I possibly caught the tail end of that. I could log in and see posters I 'recognised' enough to know their thoughts on things. Namechanging was quite rare too, so that kind of helped with the 'friendly' atmosphere (and conversely knowing who to ignore).

You're right it is a huge site now. The hacking meant namechanging increased and then Penis Beaker did it's thing for recruiting new members and not in a good way.

Yanbu. I'm.ptetty sure some of it is trolls. I find it hard to believe there are that many arseholes out there.

Stay away from posting AIBU and the Corona board and it's a tad better.

I'm trying not to reply to blood boiling nasty and misinformed posts.

My piss boiler is "that's why its spreading" when people talk about anything that involves leaving the house. I wonder how many people genuinely can never leave the house yet expect SOMEONE to provide food? I studied microbiology as part of my degree but hey, do i really need to give a shit? Possibly not.

It's always been a place full of nasty posters. 75% nasty and 25% informative, funny and helpful but you do have to wade through the poo here

mumsnet very definitely used to be a parenting website. yes of course people talked about other things but that was it's base. And it was always quite robust and people spoke very bluntly but it wasn't MEAN most of the time. you could always get support or find a friendly chat and because it was smaller and the daily mail weren't lifting entire threads to publish, people didn't name change the same way and you got to know people.

Getting so big has been good for business obviously but it has also completely changed the website and changed the dynamic and the feel.

Add in Covid which polarises people anyway and it can be a pretty toxic place yes.

@Asrui

From last March to now there has been a preponderance of sanctimonious, patronising posts on here judging others and trying to depress people. It has just shown such a nasty side to people and imo the moderators of the site have been at fault for not having intervened to close down these posters.

It's actually been like that for at least 10 years, especially on contentious issues like - Brexit Trans rights Cat shit Bog brushes etc

and I love it. It would be nothing without all the sanctimonious pompous twats

i joined in 2001 by the way!

The hacking was 6 years ago this year. Things definitely changed after that.

I miss a good old 'reclining seats on an airplane' thread @DynamoKev

I’ve been on here on and off for a long time. There are some wonderful people, some of whom I now know in rl. However, there are too many people desperate to be right and the snobbery is off the scale. I think it’s the latter that really gets to me. Intellectual snobbery, snobbery about schools and university choices, even snobbery about what time you eat and what you sit on in your garden. I wouldn’t choose to spend time with those types of people in rl and I question why I give them headspace on here.

I voted YABU because there has always been a wide streak of toxicity running throughout the site, and AIBU in particular.

It’s less cliquey now as it’s expanded so you’re less likely to see the same packs of MNers savaging a poster, but more people seem to revel in being sneering, snide or superior. There used to be more genuinely witty threads that people picked up and ran with organically, without the need to plaster “LIGHTHEARTED” all over the title in an attempt to ward off the fun sponges.

And I’ve argued more than once through a variety of name changes that just because AIBU is known to be more robust, that doesn’t mean it’s a licence to leave every scrap of empathy at the door and channel Cunty McCuntsworth, the biggest cunt in Cuntsville.

I agree.

A lot of fear no getting, not only about COVID but I’ve also noticed about people’s parenting.

“If you do/ allow that you’ve damaged your child forever!”

And my favourite “what did I just read?”

Your own posts on other threads don't exactly cover you in glory.

On a thread the other day I realised that some posters don't know that this site is not moderated in the way other sites might be. So unless a 'cunty' post is reported then nothing is going to happen with it. MN aren't 'letting it stand' they haven't seen it.

@Seth41

Mumsnet has always been like this.

Mainly women
Anonymous
Toxic combination in any situation

Because the rest of the Internet dominated by men is not toxic?

I've been here since 2012. I made my first thread a year in, and was torn to shreds. Fortunately, I cut my teeth on Christian forums, so was hardened to cruel and vitriolic comments. I don't think MN is any worse than it was. There are lots of examples of real kindness, caring and concern, and you can get advice on almost any topic. What I find entertaining is that my comments from years ago for which I was 'spoken to' by MN (eg Do get married before having children, for your own good) are now standard.

When I joined in 2011 I just got stuck in and posted enthusiastically straight away after lurking for a week or so. But I got a PM asking 'who did you used to be?' which was a bit about.