Covid has made this website toxic

[Asrui]

From last March to now there has been a preponderance of sanctimonious, patronising posts on here judging others and trying to depress people. It has just shown such a nasty side to people and imo the moderators of the site have been at fault for not having intervened to close down these posters.

I meant to say 'I have been on here a long time under diff names...'

I think there have always been nasty posters on mumsnet although there may be more recently. I find I'm hiding a lot more threads recently than I used to without opening them as I know they'll attract nasty people.
I do like the voting though as posts without voting will often be dominated by a few aggressive posters and then people with a different point of view won't bother to post as they don't want people attacking them. The vote gives a truer picture of how people feel though and gives people confidence to go against the aggressive few.

I think it depends what post it is. You're bound to get a mixture otherwise it would all be a bit Stepford wives!

I do try to make the effort to read the whole thread. Sometimes if it is very long I skim it but I certainly make sure I read all the posts by the person who started it.

However it is frustrating to see so many posts where people just seem to want to have their say even though they are probably one of dozens who have said exactly the same thing. If they read the thread they probably wouldn't bother to post so they don't so they can.

They are the equivalent of those people you meet in real life who just nod at you, not listening, until you shut up and they can say their piece.

I think the fact that so many people feel the need to add
'light hearted' to a thread title speaks volumes.
I am astonished at how perfectly innocuous threads can be turned on their heads by people with no other motive than being deliberately combatitive and spiteful.

I have noticed an increase in threads moaning about MN in general, everyone on it and whingeing about the moderation.

If you think it's toxic why hang around?

Mumsnet has always been like this.

Mainly women
Anonymous
Toxic combination in any situation

And some of the general views are weird & often don't make sense.

eg Kate Middleton is just like us but Megan Markle is too big for her boots.
Don't ever mind your own business unless it's to do with a suspected benefit cheat.
Forgetting to pay for something in a shop that cost 50p will result in somebody losing their job & losing their livelihood but no issue with landlord who own multiple properties.

That’s not the problematic combination, Seth.

It’s when you add a good dollop of ‘hysterical’ and ‘stupid.’

@Seth41

Mumsnet has always been like this.

Mainly women
Anonymous
Toxic combination in any situation

Because there's no toxic men on here is there...

I have to admit I do laugh when a thread titled "I was eating dinner at 9pm & I heard someone scratching my door" becomes more about "we say supper!" & "if you eat that late at night your body can't cope with the digestion stress & you will die early".

Oh come on
Minuscule compared with number of women

@Poppingnostopping

What I can't get over is that anyone would still start a thread and expect decent advice and not a savaging! I sometimes wonder if people do read mumsnet before writing. This is a huge shame as on certain topics, such as relationship standards and getting out of debt, some posters have literally transformed someone else's life with their advice. I wouldn't post for advice myself ever, it's just inviting a pile-on and even in previously sensible places like Relationships, which used to be sympathetic to posters who had got into difficulties such as abuse, aggression and violence, people are now being blamed for their choices.

Yes that's the real shame of it. The victim blaming. People used to post for sincere advice and 75% of the time would get it. Now I would be very reluctant to ask for help about anything important. Not least because you could find your story in the Daily Mail too.

There are a lot more people who are generally stressed out, angry and not able to vent to friends. I think that’s driving a fair bit of the increased angry undertone. It does feel worse lately.

@Seth41

Oh come on Minuscule compared with number of women

How many men are on here? You couldn't possibly know.

I'd never start a thread in AIBU these days. There are too many people who want to ensure they get to tell you how awful you are in the most strenuous and harsh way possible and will twist what you say and in fact just make stuff up so they can do so. I don't think it's just Covid though. The way we communicate on SM and often RL actually, has changed as Twitter grew more popular - the forced condensed attacking posting style has spilled over on to other platforms and also the increasing popularity of identity politics and woke-ism and unrealistic demands for purity in all opinions, has made public censorship by shaming de rigueur.

I still quite enjoy being here but I use the site very differently than I did a few years ago and would never ask advice about anything I am stressed or hurting about.

I agree OP. YANBU.

I agree that there’s been a lot of “this hell will never end, will it?” type threads. But I always question the motivation of these posters anyway, I wonder if they really feel this way or are intent on spreading doom on and stamping on the morale of others. It’s a real shame that these people behave this way, because having a single depressed and low person in a family creates huge ripples for the entire family. I ignore these people, always have done.

AIBU has historically been a joke topic. Petty Gripes if you like. But lately everything is posted on it 'for traffic' and serious replies are expected?

I have been coming here on and off for ten years and it has always been toxic at times. But the CV threads are often toxic and also batshit at the same time.