To think that rude is just rude?

[hotwotsits]

We bought my sister in law a birthday gift last week..nothing fancy just got flowers and chocolates sent (chose her favourite chocolates as there's a bit of a running joke with them). Didn't hear anything from her until today and got a text saying 'got the pressie, cheers'. Told dh it didn't sound like she was very grateful and he said 'yeah, she's not really that kind of person'. Well, I don't care if you are that kind of person or not. As a grown up surely you should have the decency to know that when you get a gift you should respond in a grateful manner, no excuses, aibu? There is really no excuse!

What did you want back, a video of her on her knees thanking you for her chocolates? She acknowledged and thanked you for your present. Rude would have been not messaging you at all.

She messaged you. I don’t get what you want?

I'd never reply something so half arsed..I'd have said 'the flowers are lovely' or 'will enjoy the chocolates later' something along those lines, not a 'cheers' one week one, just rude in my opinion

Did either of you ring her or message her on her birthday?

To be honest I wouldn't consider either flowers or chocolates to be a gift that required anything more than a brief thank you.

You think her thank you message wasn’t good enough and she should have been more grateful? For some flowers and chocolates?

Alrighty.

Yes, messaged first thing on her birthday (before the delivery would have arrived), she replied with a thumbs up to that. Interesting (and making me feel better about it actually) as I'm clearly in the minority...I love giving gifts and also make sure I send a thought out thank you when I receive a present. But looks like this response is acceptable so I'll need to remember that and overthink it less in the future!

@hotwotsits

I'd never reply something so half arsed..I'd have said 'the flowers are lovely' or 'will enjoy the chocolates later' something along those lines, not a 'cheers' one week one, just rude in my opinion

I would've replied the same way as you but not everyone's the same.

I wouldn't find your SIL's reply particularly rude, just different to mine.

I agree with you, OP. She sounds ignorant!

She said thanks. What more do you want? You sent a generic, not thought out or personal gift.

I'm not a big one for expecting or giving thanks though.

That would have pissed me off. Maybe I go over the top with thanks but I'm always so grateful when people do anything for me

Yeah that's a bit rude, more an acknowlegment of receipt than a thank you.

It was generic but like I said the chocolate was a bit different and part of a family running joke so a bit of effort there. I'm
definitely a big one for giving thanks as I really do appreciate being thought about so that's maybe where there's a difference in that I'm expecting someone else to think that way too.

you sent a mediocre gift and got a mediocre response... why would you expect more?

@torquewench yes! That's it..it was like an acknowledgment of receipt

Whilst it doesn't really matter in the big scheme of things that would have annoyed me.

Whatever you think of the gift, it doesn't take long to send a message along the lines of 'Just to say thanks for the flowers and chocolates, it was really kind of you. Had a lovely birthday and hope to see you soon x'

@temproasted me too

@hotwotsits

Yes, messaged first thing on her birthday (before the delivery would have arrived), she replied with a thumbs up to that. Interesting (and making me feel better about it actually) as I'm clearly in the minority...I love giving gifts and also make sure I send a thought out thank you when I receive a present. But looks like this response is acceptable so I'll need to remember that and overthink it less in the future!

How thought out can a thank you for some flowers and chocolates be? It's not exactly a thought out gift...

@BobbinAround absolutely, that response would be perfect. Never mind, not really a big deal at all but good to get others opinions

Yes it's bloody rude....

if people cannot be arsed to say a simple thank you then don't take the ducking gift ... easy 🌺

@Fastedbrownie that's really not the point, the effort and cost of any gift whatsoever deserves more than a 'cheers', sorry but it does!

and despite the general opinion on here of flowers not being a nice enough gesture... I LOVE FLOWERS.... they are beautiful 🌺

She's rude and spoilt.. wouldn't send her anything next time. Send her an emoji of a birthday cake and leave it at that.

I'm assuming it wasn't a milestone birthday? Sounds like she's not hugely bothered about making a fuss and assumes you think the same way. Also 'cheers' is one of those odd words that can be genuine from the sender but sound flippant to the recipient.

I think you just have different communication styles. Noone is unreasonable.

@Quirrelsotherface

She's rude and spoilt.. wouldn't send her anything next time. Send her an emoji of a birthday cake and leave it at that.

Bloody heck. That’s the most over thr top response ever. Today you win the Internet

Op, stop trying to big thr present up. 😂

I wouldn't have said it was rude. A bit more offhand then I would have done, maybe, but everyone does things differently. I'm sure she's grateful for it.
I don't know why everyone's getting so snotty about flowers and chocolate, though. If someone likes flowers and chocolate, get them flowers and chocolate.