To think that rude is just rude?

[hotwotsits]

We bought my sister in law a birthday gift last week..nothing fancy just got flowers and chocolates sent (chose her favourite chocolates as there's a bit of a running joke with them). Didn't hear anything from her until today and got a text saying 'got the pressie, cheers'. Told dh it didn't sound like she was very grateful and he said 'yeah, she's not really that kind of person'. Well, I don't care if you are that kind of person or not. As a grown up surely you should have the decency to know that when you get a gift you should respond in a grateful manner, no excuses, aibu? There is really no excuse!

I agree that her text was rather rude and abrubt OP, and even worse than that was that she took days to acknowledge the gift.
Even if I just receive a card from someone I thank the sender more promptly and in a nicer manner than your SIL did. YANBU.

Her reply was a bit blunt but atleast you got a thank you. I've sent gifts to my ex partners family in the past and not even got so much as a response! Personally when I say thank you I usually would put something along the lines of "hey lovely, thank you for the gifts I really apprechiate it :)" rather than just cheers, but maybe shes just not an affectionate person? X

I know how you feel, if you’re going to give someone a gift the least they can do is pretend to be enthusiastic and gush over your generosity and kindness

I think in normal circumstances you could read more into it but she a) prob forgot to send it sooner so kept it brief and b) everyone is a bit down and dreary at mo.
I'd just move on from it OP its prob not meant in a rude way x

I'm with you op. It's not ott to give a proper thanks near the time of delivery and not a week later.
I'm actually a bit 😕 at the pp who said she's not bothered about being thanked or thanking others. I really hoping you're teaching any kids you have better manners than that.

This thread and some responses on it does make me wonder if a lot of the people who don't find this rude, and who thinks chocolates and flowers are a "shit birthday gift" often find themselves ignored or missing out on opportunities given to others.

I've just ignored a rude ebay question. It said "What size does this fit?" I'm not particuarly bothered about selling the item, and the chest size is on it, which is the standard size, but if someone can't be bothered to put either a please or a thanks in there somewhere, I can't be bothered replying.

It is quite dismissive and off hand. I would send a much nicer text than that.

However, if that's the way she is, then just leave it.

Does she give you birthday presents?

I see the message as acknowledgement she received but not a thank you, which is rude.
However just forget it. Accept some people are not particularly gracious.

@EllieRosesMammy

Her reply was a bit blunt but atleast you got a thank you. I've sent gifts to my ex partners family in the past and not even got so much as a response! Personally when I say thank you I usually would put something along the lines of "hey lovely, thank you for the gifts I really apprechiate it :)" rather than just cheers, but maybe shes just not an affectionate person? X

just not that affectionate... is Rude 🌺

I've just ignored a rude ebay question. It said "What size does this fit?" ... if someone can't be bothered to put either a please or a thanks in there somewhere, I can't be bothered replying.

Bonkers

@BubblyBarbara

I've just ignored a rude ebay question. It said "What size does this fit?" ... if someone can't be bothered to put either a please or a thanks in there somewhere, I can't be bothered replying.

Bonkers

Not at all. So many people send stuff back because its not quite right on ebay, and tbh someone who can't say please or thank you is more likely to do that.

I message people on ebay and increasingly FB messenger all the time, and the majority of us do in fact manage to be polite to each other. It makes life much easier, and if you are collecting an item from someone's home, its reassuring to know that you are dealing with someone who is polite.

Perhaps you don't mind this sort of thing, but personally I find it a good way of protecting myself.

And if she has 2 brothers? And a sister, and mother and father, plus a couple of nieces and nephews?

I'm astonished at all these adults who are such spolit brats they call flowers and chocolates crap presents, who also have hours to sit chatting on the phone for every birthday.

So unless they receive a "better" present jewellery? Money? A trip to the Andes? They think it's all right to reply with a sullen text with wording more suited to a teenager?

Is she a teenager OP, whose parents reminded her to reply a week later?*

I'm not sure this is reply to my comment. I've not suggested that flowers and chocs are a crap present. I think it's a bit unfair to the SIL to compare what normally happens on a BD with what happens in a global pandemic when socialising, celebrating and doing anything fun are all vetoed. I guess the core issue may be that some people think 'cheers' is sullen and others don't.