To be sick of my husband not letting me buy stuff?

[Tiredmum195]

Hi all,
Just wondering what arrangements other people have with their Dh with regards to spending money? I’m struggling with my dh being pretty controlling with regards to spending money. Eg, if I want to buy an item of clothing I would have to basically ask him first and quite often he will say, you don’t need that etc. If I just order something without consulting him first, I will get a very disapproving look and he will complain. Aibu to think I shouldn’t need his permission?

This is absolutely outrageous. He’s making you feel bad for buying things you can comfortably afford and he benefits from having no mortgage and a comfortable cushion of savings because of your financial assets?! I’m bloody angry for you, OP. How dare he control you like this.

No debt, £70k savings & own your home?. Have you ever actually seen a bank statement for the joint account? Is he siphoning off money? He pays no rent so where is all his money going? How much is he 'saving' & does he add it to your savings? You have the balance of power here, so its prob a control thing for him to feel he has power too. Get your pay put into your own account. Then a percentage into the joint account according to how much more he earns. The parent /child & pocket money dynamic you have isn't healthy, it's abusive.

It depends....if bills are somewhat evenly split then you are definitely not being unreasonable.

However if your other half is the primary breadwinner, pays for the mortgage and bills and looks after the family well, then I can see why he would want you to discuss with him before buying stuff.

In a relationship, theres often 1 spender and 1 saver, xd.

House and savings are from your parents: why are you listening to what he wants? No mortgage! Blimey, bliss!