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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to wish for a dog-free park?

311 replies

PerspicaciousGreen · 27/01/2021 18:33

I live in a lovely outer London borough with about ten parks within half an hour's walk, full of young families, great place to bring up children... except for the dogs.

My 2yo DS is TERRIFIED of dogs and, unfortunately, so am I. He's got it from me, I know, and it's just awful. I was so scared as a child I'd cry if I had to walk past a dog on the street and after years of work I got to the point where I felt I wasn't very comfortable around dogs but could live a normal life. However, seeing my DS being nervous around them has brought it all back and honestly now I come out in a cold sweat if I see a dog. I try to put a brave face on it for him, I really do, but he can tell I'm scared and we just wind each other up, I think.

So I find myself barely able to use any of the parks because every single one is full of dogs all the time. The one closest to our house, the fenced-off playground is right next to the entrance so we can do a sprint in and then it's OK. But one time several months ago, someone's dog got in (to their credit, they leapt in straight away and manhandled it out again) and he STILL talks about it and looks for dogs before he will play.

But the other ones, it's like a tiny little island of playground in the middle of acres and acres of dogs chasing each other, barking, etc. It's not even about whether their owners are responsible or not any more. If a dog so much as looks at DS, he freaks. And there are lots of owners who trot out the old "He's just being friendly!" while I hold a sobbing DS and try not to cry myself!

There is just no open space in the whole of our neighbourhood that doesn't have dogs in it. I'd love to be able to go for walks, take him out for a picnic, kick a ball around... But we can never relax because there's always a dog. Even if we weren't scared, we'd end up tripping over them or having one come over for a taste of our sandwiches.

I know IABU to be so scared of dogs. I do. But AIBU to wish there was one dog free park in this apparent suburban park paradise?

OP posts:
StillCoughingandLaughing · 27/01/2021 18:49

I’d also like this. It’s not the dogs I have a problem with - it’s owners who don’t give a toss when said dogs run up and jump in your face, covering you in mud.

Daisysflowers · 27/01/2021 18:49

I wish majority of parks only allowed dogs on leads...and I own a dog!!Grin

No well trained dog should approach anyone or any other dog.

Maybe you need to get some help for your fear and your sonsFlowers

My son was terrified of dogs like your son...he now loves them hence why we have oneGrin

Orangebitters · 27/01/2021 18:49

I’m sorry you’re so stressed out my dogs, that must be really unfun for you. However your reaction seems a bit over the top— do you know why you are so scared of them? Is there anything you can do to address the issue, so that you and your son don’t have to struggle through this forever?

My dog gets very scared of people and I hate it when little kids come and try to pet her (also... adults do this too. So rude.) Sometimes I wish there was a dog only park where she could run free!

LishaFlynn · 27/01/2021 19:00

I sympathise OP. I would love a dog free park too. Or even part of one. We have a vast lovely local park but I have been bitten twice in five years and jumped up on numerous times by out of control dogs. I just take my son out on walks on our local streets. Which is so sad.

Sprockerdilerock · 27/01/2021 19:03

That must be super frustrating for you both OP. Do you know anyone with a small friendly dog you could introduce to your DS to get him more confident while he is still little?

I initially thought YABU but I've changed my mind actually (and I'm a dog owner!). If you have that many parks local to you there are plenty left if one become dog free/on lead dogs only. Or at least an area of it.

That said I'd never let my dog bound up to anyone, let alone a small child. He goes on his lead whenever we see other people on our walks until I'm happy the other dog owner is fine for them to play.

Cantbbothered · 27/01/2021 19:04

Not at all. I wish for child free parks all the time.

Faithtrusts · 27/01/2021 19:05

@Cantbbothered this would get my vote Grin

Toffeefee23 · 27/01/2021 19:06

YANBU
It’s not the dogs, it’s the numerous owners who fail to control them / don’t respect not everyone likes dogs that is the issue

eeliie · 27/01/2021 19:08

100% agree op

Stompythedinosaur · 27/01/2021 19:09

I think you need to get help for your phobia, it sounds debilitating and very difficult to manage.

FTMF30 · 27/01/2021 19:10

Yanbu at all. It's a massive annoyance of mine.

There are two parks less than 1/4 a mile from one another which are local to me. One is HUGE , lots of hills and right next to woods. Loads of people take their dogs there to roam free (be a nuisance). The other park is much smaller and close to a main road, yet loads of people opt to take their dogs there too. It irritates the life out of me. They dominate the bigger, nicer park. The smaller one should be dog free.

switswoo81 · 27/01/2021 19:10

Yanbu. Last week my dd slipped in dog poo and yesterday I stepped in a huge pile and my converse were ruined.

I love dogs but it drives me bananas. I know it's a very small minority if owners.
We go walking in a wetlands nearby that is designated as a bird sanctuary so dogs or bikes are not allowed .

Completelyfrozen · 27/01/2021 19:12

If there was a dog free park near you, how would you get to it without coming across a dog walking with it's owner on the pavement?

Cherrysoup · 27/01/2021 19:12

I think it would be amazing if you could somehow introduce him to a nice quiet dog, admittedly difficult given the current circumstances. If you can walk with a friend and have her dog on a longline, maybe?

I think I terms of cleanliness and lack of being hassled by untrained idiot dogs, it would be good to have designated no dogs allowed parks.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 27/01/2021 19:13

I agree- my niece is petrified of dogs and every park they inevitably come bounding up to her.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 27/01/2021 19:14

@Completelyfrozen

If there was a dog free park near you, how would you get to it without coming across a dog walking with it's owner on the pavement?
Parking inside the park, parking right outside..:
whiteroseredrose · 27/01/2021 19:14

Why not have dog parks and non-dog parks like I think they do in the USA or Canada.

We'd have taken DC to the swings in the dog park as we would go out as a family. OP could go to the non-dog Park.

Calmandmeasured1 · 27/01/2021 19:16

You need to get some sort of counselling to deal with this because dogs are always going to be around so you are going to have to overcome your fear somehow. You have already instilled as fear in your child, maybe inadvertently, but that isn't good. People get over phobias of spiders and snakes and flying with therapy.You can overcome this and then teach your child to also.

Godimabitch · 27/01/2021 19:16

I think parks should have set off lead areas that are fenced and the rest of the park dogs on leads no longer than 8ft. Would be better for everyone

Mydogmylife · 27/01/2021 19:16

@Cantbbothered

Not at all. I wish for child free parks all the time.
This
Tinkletwat · 27/01/2021 19:18

Would also love a child free park!

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 27/01/2021 19:18

YANBU at all.

I'm not dog phobic at all, but I don't like them and would never choose to have one as a pet.

It irritates the hell out of me that every time I take DD to any outdoors space we have to deal with dogs bounding up to us, covering us in mud or snatching food from our picnic. Not to forget having to constantly search the floor for dog shit.

Unfortunately there are some dog owners who fail to adequately train or clean up after their dogs and everyone else is supposed to just be ok with that.

Some dog owners also forget or fail to empathise with the fact that the size difference between the average 2 year old and the average Labrador (for example) is the equivalent of a sharp toothed slobbering shire horse bounding up to a 6 foot man. Something that I think most people would find pretty damn scary.

AllegedlyChaos · 27/01/2021 19:18

I would much prefer dog free areas in general - it isn't the animals themselves, but I have a phobia of their mess.

YouShouldLeave · 27/01/2021 19:19

@Cantbbothered

Not at all. I wish for child free parks all the time.
This is my dream too!!
gottakeeponmovin · 27/01/2021 19:21

I think you need to deal with your dog phobia to be honest