AIBU to wish for a dog-free park?

[PerspicaciousGreen]

I live in a lovely outer London borough with about ten parks within half an hour's walk, full of young families, great place to bring up children... except for the dogs.

My 2yo DS is TERRIFIED of dogs and, unfortunately, so am I. He's got it from me, I know, and it's just awful. I was so scared as a child I'd cry if I had to walk past a dog on the street and after years of work I got to the point where I felt I wasn't very comfortable around dogs but could live a normal life. However, seeing my DS being nervous around them has brought it all back and honestly now I come out in a cold sweat if I see a dog. I try to put a brave face on it for him, I really do, but he can tell I'm scared and we just wind each other up, I think.

So I find myself barely able to use any of the parks because every single one is full of dogs all the time. The one closest to our house, the fenced-off playground is right next to the entrance so we can do a sprint in and then it's OK. But one time several months ago, someone's dog got in (to their credit, they leapt in straight away and manhandled it out again) and he STILL talks about it and looks for dogs before he will play.

But the other ones, it's like a tiny little island of playground in the middle of acres and acres of dogs chasing each other, barking, etc. It's not even about whether their owners are responsible or not any more. If a dog so much as looks at DS, he freaks. And there are lots of owners who trot out the old "He's just being friendly!" while I hold a sobbing DS and try not to cry myself!

There is just no open space in the whole of our neighbourhood that doesn't have dogs in it. I'd love to be able to go for walks, take him out for a picnic, kick a ball around... But we can never relax because there's always a dog. Even if we weren't scared, we'd end up tripping over them or having one come over for a taste of our sandwiches.

I know IABU to be so scared of dogs. I do. But AIBU to wish there was one dog free park in this apparent suburban park paradise?

YANBU. I love dogs and I have been a dog owner for the most part of my life. But currently we live close to a small outdoor playground and it really pisses me off (no pun intended) when I go there and see dog owners walking their dogs there, letting the dogs pee the on the sides of the playsets, benches etc so I have to be careful that my toddler doesn’t touch these parts. There’s a walking path literally right next to the playground that is perfectly safe and suitable for people to walk their dogs and enough bushes where the dogs can pee. I just don’t understand how some people do not realize how anti social their behavior really is. That also goes for the elderly man who regularly sits on a bench in the playground, smoking fags and throws the smoked ones in front of the bench so toddlers are at risk of putting these in their mouths if the parents aren’t paying close enough attention but that’s another story.

Oh God, I totally agree. Our local woods are a lovely place to go running or walking but totally over run with the dogs to the point that the only time I go is 5am and then only in the summer when it's light enough.

I think there should be dedicated dog-free hours (or even better, dedicated dog hours).

I think there should be dedicated dog-free hours (or even better, dedicated dog hours)

When I was a child people used to walk their dogs early morning and late at night. Pity we can't get back to that. Although people used to just let them out to roam around, too.

so if you only go to the one that has a cafe once a week - it sort of proves the point.

No, you said that no one but dog walkers go to the park in the grey and cold and I was saying that actually, lots of us do. Yes, I only manage to get to the further away park once a week but lots of people do live very close to it and every time we go there are families with no dogs there so I'm going to guess that there usually are and they don't all just coordinate their timings with me somehow!

I think the problem at the moment is that so many families have dogs. When I was younger I only knew one or two families who had one and now it seems to be the norm. I don't have an issue with responsible dog owners but unfortunately there are a lot of irresponsible ones and behaviour aside sometimes it can feel as though it's impossible to go anywhere without being surrounded by dogs.

@YNK

I walk daily in local parks all year round. I would love it if park users with dog phobia had somewhere to go where they could avoid being 'triggered'. It's very unpleasant to witness these meltdowns and I'm afraid all too often the people shouting about 'control' are the ones who have obviously lost it. I've felt so scared I started carrying an alarm and my dog has been kicked and hit with sticks. I feel terribly sorry for the children who need to witness this behaviour from the adults that they depend on.

Omg, that's awful. I honestly think I would lose it if someone dared harm my dog.

She's a staffy so she's not easily intimidated and she loves her walks so it doesn't put her off.
I was walking with a friend recently when a woman started shouting at us. I'd just been telling my friend about crazy dog hating people so we smiled at each other but I'm afraid that sent her into complete meltdown. She was screaming "my child is 2yo and you are giving her a phobia".
My friend was completely gobsmacked. The dog was walking beside us and none of us had even looked at them!

I was attacked by a dog as a child. It was a vicious attack and I was left bloody and traumatised. I was around 9 years old and remember it vividly.

I do not like dogs at all. I would not own a dog and I do not like to be approached by a dog. If a dog races past me I get very anxious, particularly when approached from behind. The park with me is ‘leads on’ but every dog owner thinks their dog is special and they don’t have to abide by the rules.

When dogs race up to me, owners seem to think I’m going to be happy and that I can’t wait to pet their dog. They call out ‘she doesn’t bite’. I don’t give a shit...if your dog approaches me, I won’t be held responsible if I lash out a foot to defend myself. Damn thing should be on a lead anyway.

Some people genuinely don’t like dogs and don’t want to be around them. Separate parks would be greatly appreciated.

• the park near me

The London borough I live in (well, my bit of it) has several "dog free" parks - about 50% of the parks near me.
Many people ignore the policy - unfortunately it tends to be the ignorant dog owners with poorly trained and badly behaved dogs.

It seems to me that the balance is in favour of the dogs. They get most of every park as the kids’ bit might be fenced off or not, and they get everything else. I don’t care for dogs , I don’t get any emotional whatever that their owners get, and yes I’m sick to death of cleaning dog shit off my granddaughter’s pushchair, her wellies, herself when she falls over in it. It’s disgusting and I don’t know why we tolerate it. There are far too many dogs and they are spoiling other people’s enjoyment of the parks. One dog free park would be great. It can’t come soon enough.

@YNK

She's a staffy so she's not easily intimidated and she loves her walks so it doesn't put her off. I was walking with a friend recently when a woman started shouting at us. I'd just been telling my friend about crazy dog hating people so we smiled at each other but I'm afraid that sent her into complete meltdown. She was screaming "my child is 2yo and you are giving her a phobia". My friend was completely gobsmacked. The dog was walking beside us and none of us had even looked at them!

That's terrible. I have a staffie and she is the loveliest sweetest soul. She would be so confused if someone tried to harm her as she adores people. People can be so ignorant, it really bothers me because every dog is an individual. Although I must say I have not met an aggressive staffie yet!

Hmm, well.
I haven’t read the whole thread but imo, parks tend to be inhabited by a ‘certain sort’ of dog owner.

I have a friendly dog that won’t approach people.
She will run past which can alarm people but she won’t approach them.
She literally ignores everyone.
She is deeply uncomfortable around other dogs, she pretty much never approaches other dogs.

Honest to god I dread walking her in big parks, I have to because she is a breed that needs to run, but I hate it due to people letting their dogs race over and harass her then getting shitty when she gets so upset she starts growling and snapping.

It’s a million times worse when the sun is out.

I find that in the pissing rain and freezing cold the aforementioned selfish inconsiderate ‘my fur baby can do what/she likes and you better accept it’ crowd are largely absent and I rarely, if ever have problems with badly trained dogs.

I would try to avoid parks tbh, or only go in horrid weather!

She will run past which can alarm people but she won’t approach them

Out of interest, why don’t you call her back instead of letting her alarm people by running past them? They don’t know she’ll ignore them. They might take fright and think she’s going to jump up. And many small children don’t see a dog they see a big furry beast coming towards them and start screaming which upsets the dog!

I have a friendly dog that won’t approach people.
She will run past which can alarm people but she won’t approach them.

so you admit that your dog is not under close control, which is the law

I agree and I have 2 large breed dogs.

Dogs are fine it's the owners that can be fucking idiots.

Out of interest, why don’t you call her back instead of letting her alarm people by running past them?
It depends where I am and how they look.
If it’s busy or a narrowish path or if they look uncomfortable I do call her back.
It’s usually wide open park space where she is running about.
She doesn’t run directly at them she just runs past.
It’s been said on here many times that a dog minding its own business/running past isn’t ‘out of control’ or dangerous so I didn’t see an issue 🤷‍♀️
They don’t know she’ll ignore them. They might take fright and think she’s going to jump up
She doesn’t run directly at people.
If it’s a path with not much room I do put her on the lead.
When she’s running it’s wide open space, she will literally be running past, along the grass
And many small children don’t see a dog they see a big furry beast coming towards them and start screaming which upsets the dog!
As above.

so you admit that your dog is not under close control, which is the law
No, the law states it is illegal for the dog to give you reasonable cause to believe it will harm you.
Running past you, not at you, past you, minding it’s own business, not even looking at you, is not reasonable cause to believe it will harm you.

YANBU. I used to be terrified of dogs after being attacked when I was a child, but now I have two Labradors- and one is a therapy dog who listens to children read (among other things). Well he did anyway, when the world was normal... OP - my boy has helped many kids and adults get over their fear of dogs. He’s very calm, doesn’t bark, and will lie down completely still while the person gets up the courage to get near him. When we go back to normal, something like that might be worth considering? It’s so awful being scared of something

I don’t ever take mine to parks really, and on the very rare occasion that I do, they walk on their leads. I don’t take them to parks because the sort of dog owners I meet in parks wind me up. I spent a great deal of time training my dogs and parks are full of (ooo I’m tired so I’m going there - cockerpoo-owning) people who think it’s okay to have their dog jump all over you because “he/she is sooooo friendly” and looks like a teddy bear and is probably wearing clothes. Mine are wonderfully friendly and adore people but they also have manners (99% of the time as they aren’t robot dogs) It’s not okay and I see why people would love a dog-free park. (The cockerpoo/cavapoochon/puggle/snickerdoodle brigade are going to come for me now I can feel it...)

I live somewhere with really long non-park walks for my dogs - which you could say is lucky but actually it’s planning because we waited until moving somewhere like this before we got a dog. We traded other things to live somewhere like this because we knew we wanted an active breed (ours are working labs and will happily go on a 15 mile hike that lasts all day) you can’t do that in (most) parks.

Also the dog poo fairy doesn’t exist to clear up after you I love to loudly shout “oh do you need a bag I’ve got loads” if I see someone blatantly about to leave it where it lands. Even if I don’t have my dogs with me I’ve always got poo bags in my pocket

not sure I've found a park in London that isn't dog free. they're all fenced off with no dog signs (south west). unless u mean the whole open space before getting to the park.

Where my cousin lives in Canada it is law (I think) that dogs need to be on the lead unless in a designated area for them to be off the lead. I have a dog and he doesn't approach people but I appreciate that some dogs do run and try and jump up at people and proper dog parks would be such a good idea. Mine isn't perfect by the way, he's just not interested in people.

My son is a bit past the age now where we go to the park but we have a few big parks near us and over the years have seen several dog owners let their dog into the fenced off play area with no regard for the kids playing there. Last summer we did go to the park to get some exercise and several dogs ran over to try and get our ball, some owners are better than others at recalling their dogs. I'm not scared as such but I don't like dogs. Son has always been a bit wary but has got better over age. My OH loves dogs and I'm quite fond of our immediate neighbouring dogs but I'd never have one myself as a pet.
My issue is with dogs is owners who are shocked and offended by the fact you don't like dogs. I've had 2 separate incidents in the past 5 years where I've come too close to dogs. One was a young lad stood in the street talking to a girl. He had a dog on a lead who strained to get at me as I tried to walk round it. Owner did nothing to reign it in and when I glared at him saying he could leave a bit more room he called me a stupid bitch and said its not the dogs fault.
The other time, I was walking on the opposite of the street and a woman was in her front garden, her gates open and a huge Lab lazing at the front. As I passed, it jumped up and ran to me - not aggressively but with enough force to scratch my legs and nearly knock me over. All she said was "its ok she's dead friendly". Maybe she was, doesn't mean i want to be approached by it and certainly doesn't mean i wanted to engage either it. Why do dog owners expect people to love their dogs as much as they do?

Where I am it used to be excellent when we first had our dog. There are three nearby areas of green space (all within a gentle 10 min walk of each other) 2 had play equipment in with small field areas and one was just open green. The kids would play in one of two play areas and the dogs all went to the open green and would run around in a similar manner. All were seperate in that unless the kids or the dogs were willing to run through housing they wouldn’t meet so it was unlikely you’d meet a dog in the 2 play areas aside from the odd one on a lead attached to a buggy. Then along comes the brilliant council and they build a big new and unfenced play area in the open green. Now everyone uses their closest space as we’ve lost the play park/dog park informal distinction and it means you have three parks where there are running dogs and running children, which aside maybe from the odd family with toddler and dog where the parents need dog space and swings, makes a worse experience for everyone.

I really think you need help for this. If you’ve got a phobia extreme enough to stop normal life then it needs some looking at.

I think perhaps more penalties for irresponsible owners, my main gripe is the sheer amount of dog crap everywhere - it is horrendous. My toddler crawled through a load of it in the park last year, it was so disgusting