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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wish for a dog-free park?

311 replies

PerspicaciousGreen · 27/01/2021 18:33

I live in a lovely outer London borough with about ten parks within half an hour's walk, full of young families, great place to bring up children... except for the dogs.

My 2yo DS is TERRIFIED of dogs and, unfortunately, so am I. He's got it from me, I know, and it's just awful. I was so scared as a child I'd cry if I had to walk past a dog on the street and after years of work I got to the point where I felt I wasn't very comfortable around dogs but could live a normal life. However, seeing my DS being nervous around them has brought it all back and honestly now I come out in a cold sweat if I see a dog. I try to put a brave face on it for him, I really do, but he can tell I'm scared and we just wind each other up, I think.

So I find myself barely able to use any of the parks because every single one is full of dogs all the time. The one closest to our house, the fenced-off playground is right next to the entrance so we can do a sprint in and then it's OK. But one time several months ago, someone's dog got in (to their credit, they leapt in straight away and manhandled it out again) and he STILL talks about it and looks for dogs before he will play.

But the other ones, it's like a tiny little island of playground in the middle of acres and acres of dogs chasing each other, barking, etc. It's not even about whether their owners are responsible or not any more. If a dog so much as looks at DS, he freaks. And there are lots of owners who trot out the old "He's just being friendly!" while I hold a sobbing DS and try not to cry myself!

There is just no open space in the whole of our neighbourhood that doesn't have dogs in it. I'd love to be able to go for walks, take him out for a picnic, kick a ball around... But we can never relax because there's always a dog. Even if we weren't scared, we'd end up tripping over them or having one come over for a taste of our sandwiches.

I know IABU to be so scared of dogs. I do. But AIBU to wish there was one dog free park in this apparent suburban park paradise?

OP posts:
TildaKauskumholm · 27/01/2021 22:55

Would be marvellous, OP, as would whole dog-free neighbourhoods.

LadyMayoGoodway · 27/01/2021 22:57

You’ll still get idiots letting them run out of control off lead tho. There’s a MT place near us with a huge run/off lead yet it’ll be empty and there’ll be people letting their dogs run over all the paths and in the play area 🙄

LadyMayoGoodway · 27/01/2021 22:57

Sorry the above was to @Godimabitch

movingonup20 · 27/01/2021 22:58

Another wish for child free here too, kids running up to my dog or stealing his ball (sometimes I don't get it back). Got hugely worse this year because the normally empty park is now full - there's designated dog free areas, not just the playground btw. I stick to the countryside now I've moved, but even that's got its problems in nesting season, lambing etc

inquietant · 27/01/2021 22:59

I agree op, I am sick of dogs dominating everywhere. The owners are the problem of course but I would love more dog free spaces.

I'm from a dog family so not afraid, I just am sick of them being everywhere and out of control.

2021namechanger · 27/01/2021 23:00

I have a dog and love to encounter them in the park - but that’s not for everyone. What part of London are you in? I can think of two parks near me which don’t allow dogs in large parts of them

deathbollywood · 27/01/2021 23:01

@christmasathomeagain

I feel you. Also have a son (now 13) who had cbt for his fear of dogs. He has been known to run into the road if he can see a dog off lead ahead. He won't go to the park now or the beech.

It would be so much easier if dogs were kept on leads, they are not allowed to walk near or up to strangers and you remove them as soon as they do and not just say 'oh don't worry she is friendly' or he won't hurt you. What that tells a child is that some dogs might hurt them or some dogs aren't friendly which feeds into their fears.

You might love your dog and think they are friendly but others don't.

did the cbt work?
Mreggsworth · 27/01/2021 23:02

I find it odd when I read comments saying "I'm fed up of random dogs bounding towards me"

I've never in my life ever had a dog come up to me and randomly jump up at me. And my dog has never randomly approached people he doesn't know.

However theres been plenty of time little children have tried to chase and play with my dog.

I dont think dog free areas are a terrible idea, in fact it would suit me if the trade of was enclosed areas for dogs to run and play freely.

veeeeh · 27/01/2021 23:09

When I hear "my dog has never done this or that", I get the heebie jeebies.

Bangable · 27/01/2021 23:14

@Tinkletwat

Would also love a child free park!
🙌🏼
WeAllHaveWings · 27/01/2021 23:16

I was terrified of dogs when I was young. I was bitten on the foot by my uncles labrador, poor thing was minding is own business sleeping under the table and I kicked it (I was only 4) to come out and play.

Dad eventually had enough of me being scared and brought home an 18 month old collie a guy at work had given up. I still remember him arriving and me hiding behind the kitchen door (when it was open there was an enclosed triangular space behind it), screaming and crying for it to go away. After a couple of days, and for the next 15 years, I loved that dog to bits and was also ok with other dogs being nearby.

Not suggesting you get a dog, that would be foolish, but you need to find a solution to his fear,

Bangable · 27/01/2021 23:17

@inquietant

I agree op, I am sick of dogs dominating everywhere. The owners are the problem of course but I would love more dog free spaces.

I'm from a dog family so not afraid, I just am sick of them being everywhere and out of control.

I am sick of dogs dominating everywhere Confused

So much HYPERBOLE!!!

spaceghetto · 27/01/2021 23:19

To the posters saying they'd love a child free park, how dare you! Why shouldn't my ds be allowed to run up to you, lick and sniff you, get muddy prints on you and steal any food items from you? They're not going to harm you, my ds is just so cute and lovely and friendly.

GlamGloria · 27/01/2021 23:20

As a dog owner I wish there were specific dog parks. There are loads in Los Angeles and they're brill

Twintub · 27/01/2021 23:23

In Canada they have parks just for dogs and I think it’s a good idea. I love dogs but I hate the dog owners who assume that you love dogs and are happy to have them jump up lick you and cover you in mud. They half heartedly say here boy and then laugh and say isn’t he naughty. To be fair I fake laugh too so I suppose if people were less polite And let dog owners know That muddy paws isn’t fun then they might keep control.

Newchances · 27/01/2021 23:32

Would love dog free parks or at least designated times they can be used without dogs. The amount running around,no owners or the owner who says "he only wants to say hello" as he's barking and jumping at you.

Seen 2 dogs fight,one on a lead,one not the other day,the dog owner on the lead was shouting and shouting and noone came for ages,her dog was the bigger too but no matter what the smaller dog kept coming. Hers could not have been lifted,the other dog could have and eventually was.

Never mind the owners with the leads that are so long everyone trips on them while they stand with their back turned.

DianaT1969 · 27/01/2021 23:35

I love dogs and enjoy seeing them in parks, but I do think it would be a good idea if you could persuade your councillor to make one of your green spaces dog-free. There are bound to be other people who would appreciate it. It isn't a big ask.

m0therofdragons · 27/01/2021 23:43

We have quite a few dog free parks round here - part of the country park with the lake and the large children’s play area; the park behind my house and the larger park just up from there has dog and no dog areas. I didn’t realise that was unique.

I have a dog and we pay an annual licence for a local estate as the owners who use it (by the nature of paying to do so) are seemingly better behaved than those we come across at local parks who don’t pick up poo and let their dog pin mine then say “I didn’t think anyone would be here in the rain - he doesn’t like other dogs so you need to keep your dog away from mine!” Er, no actually, my 6 month old pup was walking within a metre of me when your poorly trained German Shepherd ran towards him... “yeah I can’t control him off the lead so best you stay away!” Or maybe put your dog on a lead!!! (At this point pup was shaken but okay and dh’s arms bleeding from pulling dog off pup).

Totally agree there should be dog free areas (mostly to give the rest of us a break idiot owners). Dd we’re scared when young (not now and obviously we now have a dog) and we used to go to national trust for picnics etc as they’re dog free.

Whammyyammy · 27/01/2021 23:47

I dont have an issue with off lead dogs o do however with unruly out of control dogs off the lead.
Owners seem to think I need to compensate for their badly behaved dogs,??
My dog doesn't like dogs running up to him, normally snapping at him, apparently dogs don't like his breed(husky/malamute). He will defend himself, and well.
I wear a body cam so my dog doesn't get the blame for someone's uncontrolled dog.

RozHuntleysStump · 27/01/2021 23:48

Love dogs 🐕. Would also like child free areas.

MiddlesexGirl · 27/01/2021 23:49

Can I put a vote in for a "dogs off lead without people complaining" park? Could do with a few of those. And more enclosed areas so dog owners can train the recall safely.

ichundich · 28/01/2021 00:11

Is there a nature reserve near you, the RSPB for example? A lot of them don't allow dogs.

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 28/01/2021 01:07

YABU

My dog is terrified of motorbikes, and my life would be infinitely easier if motorbikes were banned from the roads. However, the world doesn't revolve around me and my dog.

DDog is the sort of dog that will happily greet strange dogs, but doesn't give a flying fuck about strange humans - he just ignores them, and would really rather be left in peace to go and sniff lamp posts. The number of people I've had to stop from touching him is ridiculous - including one man who actively encouraged his toddler to go and stroke the dog without asking me first Shock I mean, FFS, at least ask the dog if it wants attention first (#metoo)

At the other end of the spectrum, I've had people pick their child up in fear as DDog ambles past, and on one occasion shout many metres to keep DDog away from their picnic. He'd shown no interest in their picnic in the first place and was happily engaged in sniffing a tree Hmm

frankie246 · 28/01/2021 01:51

Maybe you should consider getting a dog to help get over yours and your child's phobia. It's not healthy carrying around all that fear. I once knew family that had a child who was that scared of dogs that she jumped into the road and got hit by a car and died. Very sad and tragic and so easily preventable.

catchabreak2020 · 28/01/2021 02:04

@Biancadelrioisback

I must be in the minority here, but I've never been jumped up at by an out of control dog. The only dogs to jump at me are ones I've encouraged over, patted by chest and made a huge fuss over. I live in a town in Northumberland where every single house seems to have a dog too. OP, I really think you need to address yours and your son's fear. The dogs aren't going anywhere. A dog free park probably won't happen. So I think in this case, if you want things to change, you'll have to change yourself.
I think we both must be in the minority, it’s genuinely never happened to me either. I’ve never trod in dog poo that’s not been picked up either. Not saying that it doesn’t happened but just my personal experience ☺️ I can see the benefits of both dog free and child free parks to be honest Grin
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