AIBU in thinking I can afford to move to Dubai?

[Partygirl2021]

I’m a single mum of a 15 month old, divorce should be finalised in a couple of months. It was always my dream to move abroad and Dubai is my first choice. My ex always refused to relocate. I earn £46k in London in a resourcing job. AIB unrealistic in thinking I could afford to live there? I know accommodation and school fees are high but I would love anyone’s experience.

Why would you want to move to Dubai?

Weather, expat life, international schools, new experience? Why not Dubai?

Do you not want your child to have a relationship with their father?

Have you visited Dubai?

Friends that have lived in Abu Dhabi were really happy to come back to Europe for several reasons. Although maybe Dubai is different. Have you friends out there?

What would your exDH say, you know about you relocating his daughter half way around the world?

Women's Rights, Human Rights?

What about your child’s father? If it were my child I’d fight tooth and nail to stop you taking them halfway round the world.

Not what you asked in AIBU, but Is your ex ok with you taking his DC abroad? If not, that could be your biggest obstacle.

My sister in law (much younger - in her 20s) has just moved back from Dubai after living there for 2 years.
She loved it - worked hard and partied hard. But it was very expensive and she just got burnt out with the fast living lifestyle. I can’t imagine doing it with a small child and not partner to share parenting duties.

What about the father? Would you be happy if he upped sticks and went halfway round the world with your child? Or wanted to have full custody and stay in the U.K. with her? What about your/his families? Do you not want to maintain a relationship with them for your child? Zoom just isn’t the same for young kids.

You can’t just take your child away from their father ! Why Dubai ? I’m sure there are nicer places with better human rights than Dubai .
There’s an excellent article on why we should avoid Dubai in the guardian online .

Why would you want to take your child halfway across the world away from their father?

You know he can stop you via the courts?

Erm...what about your child's relationship with their father?

Find some expat groups in Dubai on Fb. They will soon give you an idea about if you can afford to live there. International schools are vv expensive so that might be a problem

What does your child’s father think? What will you do for employment? Have you actually visited for a couple of months to understand what it’s actually like?

Ex doesn’t show much interest in his child. I would cross that bridge when I came to it. Frankly it’s none of your business I was asking purely about cost of living as a single parent...

You really need to go and experience Dubai for a week or two first.
Had a friend with three young children whose husband was relocated to Dubai.
She was full of glee at first. The realisation of hardly any time outdoors with young children soon hit her. The cultural differences really impacted on her.
Think you need to do some serious research.

Have you been to Dubai?

Presuming your STBEx shares parental responsibility, he will need to consent to your child moving. In case you haven’t considered that...

Do you have an idea of what you could earn out there? Dubai is massively expensive.

Dubai is a great place to live if you want to have some back up for a rainy day. May be not so much for long term but you sound young and, if the father isn’t an involved parent, you shouldn’t give up on a chance just because he might be willing to see the child for a few hours every few weeks.

How are single mums treated there? Do (lone) women have rights?

Do your research.

You would also need a sponsor for your visa ie. a local job.

Just Google women's rights Dubai.

Thank you @Thewithesarehere

Honestly I think you are mad. A friend moved with her then husband, it was awful. She hated it, and financially it was crippling and he earned twice what you are on. She came home after 6 months and he followed not long after.

How does the baby's father feel about your plan? He can and should IMHO apply for a prohibitive steps order to prevent you takin the child. How would you feel going and leaving the baby here with its father?

It’s affordable if you find a job while you’re still in the U.K. and they pay your relocation - then your rent and school fees will usually be covered too. If you’re expecting to move there and just find a job, the pay will be much lower and the roles harder to get. There’s a lot of expats competing for jobs, and a very openly sexist recruitment system.