AIBU in thinking I can afford to move to Dubai?

[Partygirl2021]

I’m a single mum of a 15 month old, divorce should be finalised in a couple of months. It was always my dream to move abroad and Dubai is my first choice. My ex always refused to relocate. I earn £46k in London in a resourcing job. AIB unrealistic in thinking I could afford to live there? I know accommodation and school fees are high but I would love anyone’s experience.

Sounds like a pie in the sky idea.

• life with a toddler, you won't be partying much.
• cultural rules are very different.
• you are taking your child away from their parent, I almost guarantee you your child will resent you for this down the line.

My DH lived there and loved it. I have visitors and if I’m honest I found it a little...stagnant. I think it grand for a short holiday if it’s your thing, but I feel like life out there might be limited in terms of the same freedoms we have.

What are your job prospects like? And what are the schools like, would your children be at a disadvantage by not speaking Arabic?

We lived in Dubai up until a couple of years ago with a toddler.
Dubai can be as cheap or as expensive as you make it if you get sucked into flash cars, fancy villa and shopping lifestyle.
However we bought an old car, lived in a cheap apartment and saved a fortune.

As a women with a small child I found Dubai to be very safe and clean.

In regards to the heat you get used to it there is a few months of the year that it can be too hot for outside play but during the cooler months the beaches and many many playgrounds are lovely.

Rent isn't as expensive as it used to be however jobs can be unstable it's not uncommon for people to job hop a lot in the UAE.

Private nursery as well as live in nannies are plentiful there are agencies than can help you.

And plenty of Single people date Dubai is very different in reality compared to what the papers will have you believe.

Lol at the human traffic comment pp clearly knows nothing about Dubai and the red tape for live in help!

Ballondog says on £45k you can afford to live as long as your expectations are not to high. But you will also be able to afford a live in maid!! Makes you think what is the maids life like if life is hard with £45k her life must be pretty shit on what you will pay her

It's ok, OP can make the maid look after the child full time, cook, clean and shop, and she can have her sleep on the kitchen floor, saving the cost of not only another room but also a bed. She doesn't have to give her more than a day off a month and she can have her arrested and imprisoned if she tries to leave without permission.

Jolly good fun, what ho!

What would happen to your child if you were put in prison?
Women can be put in prison for drinking, skirt too short or someone coming onto them. It can happen in an instant.

Your maid would not care for your child. Like fiuck she would.
I was brought up overseas and I know this well.

Who else out there would stand up for your child, and pay, and fly them back to uk? No one is the answer.
You're in cloud cuckoo land!

The one problem I could see for you would be feeling isolated the UAE expat community is very transient people leave for other expat locations or return home. It's easy to make friends, everyone is in the same boat, but not so easy to form deep relationships.

Gosh so many negative comments. Have a relative in Dubai, single female mid 30’s. Absolutely loves it. Look on line Dubai just launched a 12 month visa I’d imagine for Brits looking to escape U.K. chaos. I’d definitely go myself (we visit yearly).

@YoBeaches

A mother is usually presumed to have a husband in Dubai.

You need a job with sponsorship. You need a full time nursery which aren't that many as most women don't work or aren't allowed to work.

I doubt you'd get a job paying enough on your own but internal transfer could be an option if they can prove they need to employ you specifically rather than a local.

Given you've never visited I have no idea why you think it's so great. It's only great for white men or Arab men. Generally speaking, men.

It's one thing to go on your own but another when a small child is involved.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4145816-AIBU-in-thinking-I-can-afford-to-move-to-Dubai?pg=2

Some quotes from the link:
• Today women age 15 and over constitute 46.6% of the labor force.
• Women make up 66% of the public sector workers, with 30% in leadership roles and 15% in technical and academic roles.
• UAE women comprise over 40% of all employees in education, at least 35% work in the health sector and approximately 20% in social affairs.

Most women in UAE don't work?

I always hear the same things about Dubai... nice place to visit not a nice place to live

@MusicalTrifleMonkey
And what are the schools like, would your children be at a disadvantage by not speaking Arabic?

English is the most widely spoken language there. The actual Emirati population is tiny compared to the number of expats living and working there.

@Boatonthehorizon

What would happen to your child if you were put in prison? Women can be put in prison for drinking, skirt too short or someone coming onto them. It can happen in an instant.

Your maid would not care for your child. Like fiuck she would.
I was brought up overseas and I know this well.

Who else out there would stand up for your child, and pay, and fly them back to uk? No one is the answer.
You're in cloud cuckoo land!

Eh in Dubai?! I saw plenty of women in Dubai mall in short skirts and Tiny shorts! Even if they were to be spoken to by police they would be told to go home not bloody prison!

Women can drink in Dubai outside of select nightclubs and bars you need a special permit. Both men and women. However you shouldn't be drunk in public.

If something was to sadly happen to the mother the child would be briefly cared for by Dubai child services then handed over to the British consulate who would provide someone to either care for the child until family arrived or fly back to the UK usually in the care of a British social worker.

Built on slavery. Read Johann Hari’s article for the Guardian. Hideous place.

We have relatives in Dubai on my DHs side and pre covid went once a year on holiday. It has an oppressive feel to it even in the airport. There is overt racism and sexism. My in laws have their rent covered by work but because they are not emirati have only in recent years managed to purchase property there (couldn't before). It's a weird place and I completely agree that it is all smoke and mirrors. Artificial and fake. DH despite knowing he could earn 4 times more there than here in the UK will never consider moving there.

@Lalliella

Built on slavery. Read Johann Hari’s article for the Guardian. Hideous place.

What, and Britain isn't?

Johann Hari's article has been utterly discredited. Generous readers write it off as a deliberate joke.

Spent a lot of time there as a teen and young adult for extended periods. Had some amazing times and wild parties.
Now in my early 30's and have 3 boys. No I wouldn't go back unless it was for a holiday. To be honest it's a bit 'meh'.

@UmmH ...I think the difference is Dubai was built on MODERN DAY slavery

Ha ha ha, thanks just googled Hari. Not someone you want to quote

Has this always been your dream OP ?
It are you just in the doldrums and slightly overwhelmed (pissed off!) that you’re unexpectedly raising a child on your own and you want to move your life along a gear?

Quite telling that all the positive comments are from people that have lived and worked there, while the negative ones are from those who probably never even flew through Dubai airport in transit, let alone stepped out into the city.
Having an opinion is all well and good, but you do have to know what you are talking about.

@Oaktree55

Gosh so many negative comments. Have a relative in Dubai, single female mid 30’s. Absolutely loves it. Look on line Dubai just launched a 12 month visa I’d imagine for Brits looking to escape U.K. chaos. I’d definitely go myself (we visit yearly).

Everything’s different when you just have yourself. I think a lot of posters are right though. What would make you want to move some where when you haven’t visited before? Based on what? In the nicest way. OP earns £46k.

A yearly holiday isn’t the same. I would be happy very happy to holiday to Dubai yearly too.

@Lalliella

Built on slavery. Read Johann Hari’s article for the Guardian. Hideous place.

Ah yes, guardian...that enlightened source of unbiased journalism. Ha.

@Regularsizedrudy

Dubai is fucking AWFUL, especially for single women. You’d be mad to move there.

Are you single? Have you lived there?

@MiladyBerserko

Shmithecat2 I'm certainly not talking shit. I used to consult in the ME, including Dubai and I worked on Saudi projects, remotely. I could have worked directly in KSA because I worked in goverment related work but I would not otherwise have been allowed in to work in such jobs, being a woman in a 'Male' industry. I chose (fought) not to go because all my Male colleagues and everyone I knew who had been there said it was a total shithole, except those expats who lived there, but they were always looking to get moved to Dubai or Singapore. And then when they left, they would say what a shithole it was too.

And tourists visas are not work visas. Do the employers still take passports off employees, which can only be returned on 'request'?

I'll see your 'remote projects' and raise you a 'I've lived there since 2013 and also worked there'.

You said - You can't go to KSA as a single mother.

Yes, you can.

Then you said - You can't even go as a single woman or work as a woman except the 'permitted' women's jobs.

Yes, you can. In fact, most companies are clambering to recruit females in all businesses to bring their quota up on females in the workplace - even better, Saudi women.

And no, employers do not hold passports. Haven't done since 2014.

You haven't lived there, you haven't worked there, you basically know fuck all about KSA. And there's no way my family, or indeed anyone expat families that I know in Saudi that are wanting to go to Dubai, or even return there after leaving for Saudi - Saudi pays the best and is cheaper in terms of cost of living.

Go back to reading the Guardian and working 'remotely'.