AIBU in thinking I can afford to move to Dubai?

[Partygirl2021]

I’m a single mum of a 15 month old, divorce should be finalised in a couple of months. It was always my dream to move abroad and Dubai is my first choice. My ex always refused to relocate. I earn £46k in London in a resourcing job. AIB unrealistic in thinking I could afford to live there? I know accommodation and school fees are high but I would love anyone’s experience.

Do you know why live in “help” is so cheap in Dubai? Human trafficking. By getting yourself a maid or a nanny you are participating in the trade of human beings.

It worries me that “cheap help” is seen as such a positive by Brits moving to Dubai. It’s modern day slavery.

I'm a serial expat (in my last few months!) and even though I'm not anti Dubai like many on mumsnet (in fact I enjoyed living there) I would not recommend it as a single.parent. or anywhere else in the ME. You will come up against prejudice for this and it will wear you down.
Is your job transferable or do you have prospects in South East Asia? I know a number of single expat mums here and whilst it is still less usual than at home you wouldn't face the same rudeness over it.

I have only visited for short times but was impressed by the cleanliness and the fact that i could walk around in safety. I do not know what it would be like to live there, especially if you have a child to consider, but hope you get the chance if that is what you want.

Dubai?
You couldn't pay me to go there. Awful human rights records. An artificial city in the desert.

Move somewhere nicer.

Yabu! Imagine if your childs dad just took them and move to Dubai! You can't do that.

Why on earth would you want to move to Dubai as a single mum with a small child?!

@Flatcokeisnojoke

How are single mums treated there? Do (lone) women have rights?

Do your research.

This

@MiladyBerserko

This thread is mental Op, you dont earn enough. Nowhere near enough. Even if you did, being a single mother would be seriously difficult if not impossible. And why the fuck are people talking about KSA as if it's even remotely relevant. You cant go to KSA as a single mother. You cant even go as a single woman or work as a woman except the 'permitted' women's jobs.

Why the fuck are you making untrue statements? Anyone from certain countries including the UK, can visit Saudi on a tourist visa, since Sept 2019. Male or female. Single, married, whatever status. If you're under 18, you need to be accompanied by an adult. That includes single women and single mothers, and their children. And women can work in any job. Two of the directors that work for my husband are women. I understand why some people find KSA abhorrent, indeed in some ways it is, but at least get your facts right before spouting off.

Dubai?
You couldn't pay me to go there. Awful human rights records. An artificial city in
the desert.

Move somewhere nicer.

So you’ve never been? 🤔 it’s very strange that on threads about Dubai 90% of the people saying how terrible it is, have never even stepped foot in the place!

I wouldn't consider moving to any UAE country. They're only just starting to allow women to drive and then there's all this male 'chaperone' shit?!!

Just no.

It might look nice on the insta's of countless vacuous reality twats (who are being paid to say how amazing it is) but I refuse to live in a country that's so hot you can only eat chocolate indoors.

What if you ever fancied a Twirl outside, OP? That's something to REALLY think about!!

We have family and friends who have moved there. In most scenarios, they have found great jobs with benefits (accommodation, private schools, healthcare) included.

No wonder live in help costs so little

“This country encourages businesses to hire people from other poor countries to come here and work. They have them sign contracts that are a decade long and then take their passports. Even though taking passports is supposedly illegal, the government knows it happens and does nothing to enforce the law. These poor people are promised a certain pay, but the companies neglect to tell them they will be deducting their cost of living from their paychecks, leaving them virtually penniless – that is, if they choose to pay them.

Companies hold back paychecks for months at a time. When the workers strike as a result, they are jailed. Protesting is illegal, you see (apparently this law IS enforced). These people will never make enough to buy a ticket home and even if they do, they do not have their passports. They live crammed in portables with tons of others, in highly unsanitary conditions. The kicker: they are building hotels that cost more to stay in for one night than they will make in an entire year. Things are so bad that a number of labourers are willing to throw themselves in front of cars because their death would bring their family affluence in the form of diya, blood money paid to the victim’s family as mandated by the government.”

do some research around the conditions, employment practices of your cheap help... and then decide if that is what you want to support, or have your daughter get used to.

If you want sun and freedom and lifestyle explore australia, New Zealand -

The expat lifestyle is good in Dubai but only because they are on substantial tax free salaries usually with accommodation and schooling paid for by their employer. I have a friend in Abu Dhabi and he is trying to come back because he's fed up living in a rabbit hutch sized apartment (he has tied accommodation) and being gay he has added issues!

Being a single woman remember dating is very difficult because much of what we consider to be normal behaviour is illegal there

@ktp100

I wouldn't consider moving to any UAE country. They're only just starting to allow women to drive and then there's all this male 'chaperone' shit?!!

Just no.

It might look nice on the insta's of countless vacuous reality twats (who are being paid to say how amazing it is) but I refuse to live in a country that's so hot you can only eat chocolate indoors.

What if you ever fancied a Twirl outside, OP? That's something to REALLY think about!!

The UAE IS a country , perhaps you're referring to states in the UAE? And women have been able to drive all over the UAE, and every other country in the Middle East for a long time - apart from Saudi, but women have also been driving there for nearly 3 years now. Same as the 'chaperone' business. That isn't applicable in Saudi for non Saudi women, the mahram rules have been relaxed for nationals (and were always at the discretion of the family), and the sponsorship system is ending in March.

I lived there for 10 years. Had some great experiences but you couldn't pay me to live there again.

"Third world country with a first world veneer"

They're only just starting to allow women
to drive and then there's all this male 'chaperone' shit?!!

That’s Saudi Arabia, not Dubai.

Totally different country 🙄

@ktp100

I wouldn't consider moving to any UAE country. They're only just starting to allow women to drive and then there's all this male 'chaperone' shit?!!

Just no.

It might look nice on the insta's of countless vacuous reality twats (who are being paid to say how amazing it is) but I refuse to live in a country that's so hot you can only eat chocolate indoors.

What if you ever fancied a Twirl outside, OP? That's something to REALLY think about!!

Well that's Dubai firmly scratched off my list, then.

My brother pre Covid worked there annually and he hated it.{Great money...but if you love the outdoors as he does, it isn't ideal}

He finds it a bit Soulless.

I know you don't want to hear this but the 'father' issue could stop you moving ANYWHERE without his permission to take the child. Somewhere like Dubai would be even more unlikely as they are not signed up to the Haig convention.

When you go overseas (even for a holiday) and your child has two parents with PR (having been married means he does have this ) you ABSOLUTELY do need to have written permission from the other parent for the child to travel with you. This is the same for him should he take your child. Every year this comes up and god knows how many people come on these threads to say ' I've been travelling with my kids for years and never been stopped' ... which whilst probably true , is still not the law.
I only came to know this when my sister was stopped at Luton on the way to Spain with her 3 very excited kids. Immigration were even willing to take an agreement over the phone. But divorce was acrimonious and permission refused. Because he could. The holiday was lost. The irony was that my ex bil hadn't even bothered to visit the kids in over a year. But the law is the law.

It doesn't stop you going anywhere you wish - including Dubai. But you can't take a child without express permission because that becomes the criminal offence of child abduction. And Dubai is one place you really don't want to end up in prison.

@19lottie82

They're only just starting to allow women to drive and then there's all this male 'chaperone' shit?!!

That’s Saudi Arabia, not Dubai.

Totally different country 🙄

Not even Saudi anymore...

Shmithecat2
I'm certainly not talking shit. I used to consult in the ME, including Dubai and I worked on Saudi projects, remotely. I could have worked directly in KSA because I worked in goverment related work but I would not otherwise have been allowed in to work in such jobs, being a woman in a 'Male' industry. I chose (fought) not to go because all my Male colleagues and everyone I knew who had been there said it was a total shithole, except those expats who lived there, but they were always looking to get moved to Dubai or Singapore. And then when they left, they would say what a shithole it was too.

And tourists visas are not work visas. Do the employers still take passports off employees, which can only be returned on 'request'?

@slashlover

Who says he doesn’t live in Dubai? Or hasn’t fucked off to Oz? Or died?

I’m a single mum of a 15 month old, divorce should be finalised in a couple of months.

Why would you divorce a dead man?

🤣🤣🙌🙌

I would do it in a heartbeat under the right circumstances. Not sure with a baby albeit childcare is inexpensive relative to London.
But do your homework first in terms of rent and salaries. That said apparently things aren’t great job wise at the moment in Dubai. All of my friends working for Emirates have been let go.

Dubai is fucking AWFUL, especially for single women. You’d be mad to move there.