AIBU in thinking I can afford to move to Dubai?

[Partygirl2021]

I’m a single mum of a 15 month old, divorce should be finalised in a couple of months. It was always my dream to move abroad and Dubai is my first choice. My ex always refused to relocate. I earn £46k in London in a resourcing job. AIB unrealistic in thinking I could afford to live there? I know accommodation and school fees are high but I would love anyone’s experience.

@Partygirl2021

Ex doesn’t show much interest in his child. I would cross that bridge when I came to it. Frankly it’s none of your business I was asking purely about cost of living as a single parent...

And once again someone starts a thread but doesn't like the responses .......

I’d say go for a two week holiday first

@Flatcokeisnojoke

How are single mums treated there? Do (lone) women have rights?

Do your research.

As bad as it sounds, Dubai treats British passport with a lot of respect.

I'm sure I read something recently about huge exodus of Brits living in Dubai due to issues with visas arising from Covid.. cant remember the details but could still be a problem.
For what it's worth I've been on a business trip and hated everything about it, but different strikes fir different folks and all that...

Have you got a job to go to? To work in the UAE you need a sponsor...usually your employer unless you're an expat spouse. You'll then get a package which will usually include an accomodation allowance/accommodation and possibly school fees though these aren't as much as they used to be. You may find it more difficult as a single mum though not impossible and as others have said will your ex really be happy with the move.

If you do go, it's a pretty good life, I wa in Dubai as a single woman for 2 years, another Emirate for a year or so and other places in the Middle East for several more. It can however be a bit of a bubble...you get used to a certain standard of living, certain quality of food, customer service etc) and then when you leave...its back to normality and that adjustment can be hard.
Certainly, if you have the opportunity and your ex is ok with the idea then go.

@Lookatthat

It’s affordable if you find a job while you’re still in the U.K. and they pay your relocation - then your rent and school fees will usually be covered too. If you’re expecting to move there and just find a job, the pay will be much lower and the roles harder to get. There’s a lot of expats competing for jobs, and a very openly sexist recruitment system.

This is true. You must have a job before you move there.

Sorry - 'leaving' not 'living in'!

@Partygirl2021

Ex doesn’t show much interest in his child. I would cross that bridge when I came to it. Frankly it’s none of your business I was asking purely about cost of living as a single parent...

Why start a thread if you're going to get snippy at all the answers?

People are (rightly) commenting on the fact that you're planning on taking your child away from their dad. If a man came on here asking the same question, they would be torn apart.

Yes I think a two week holiday when COVID calms down is a good idea. I would definitely not move without going first and I’d secure a job in the UK first. I could possibly do an internal transfer via my current employer too

Please find out about some of the laws in Dubai before you decide to go. It would seriously impact finding a new relationship, etc.

It’s also far too hot to take a child out on the daytime for most of the year and there’s nowhere to just go for a walk from your house/flat as most places don’t even have pavements. It’s all about the malls.

I think the OP was literally just asking hypothetically what it’s like. if anyone has experience, she doesn’t seem to be planning a kidnap without telling the father so why don’t you all pipe down ffs.

Normally people go work there on an expat package so accomdation is included.
I had a friend look into it so they could go for 2 years, save up and come back with a house deposit. But that was with a partner and pre-children.
I'm not sure how a single mother would be treated.

What are you basing your wish to move there on? Why does it appeal to you? Do you know anything of the culture, rules you would need to abide to etc?

Go for it -I have 3 friends out there-all teaching- and another who was there for 3 years with her hubby/kids in mining then moved back to Oz with enough saved to put half down on their home... They all making lots of cash-love the lifestyle/experience.it can be a long term or short term thing depending on your contract. Obv you need to be prepared for the air con/indoorsy/mall living stuff that goes with the mid-east but do your research and have an adventure.
Sure you're going to get the miserable naysayers on here as per, who'd deny anyone a good jolly coz what works for one person(them) has to work for another blahblah..but Id ditch England like a shot if you get the opportunity (as I did)..spent my adult life travelling and working around the world before settling in Oz. We had a choice of here, NZ or Canada but just loved the space, opportunity, wages and laid back good vibes over here..it hasnt changed and covids barely touched us!!
Good luck with whatever you do.

@CornishPastyDownUnder

Go for it -I have 3 friends out there-all teaching- and another who was there for 3 years with her hubby/kids in mining then moved back to Oz with enough saved to put half down on their home... They all making lots of cash-love the lifestyle/experience.it can be a long term or short term thing depending on your contract. Obv you need to be prepared for the air con/indoorsy/mall living stuff that goes with the mid-east but do your research and have an adventure. Sure you're going to get the miserable naysayers on here as per, who'd deny anyone a good jolly coz what works for one person(them) has to work for another blahblah..but Id ditch England like a shot if you get the opportunity (as I did)..spent my adult life travelling and working around the world before settling in Oz. We had a choice of here, NZ or Canada but just loved the space, opportunity, wages and laid back good vibes over here..it hasnt changed and covids barely touched us!! Good luck with whatever you do.

This is my thought too. If education and hopefully housing is paid for by the employer, it’s a dream place to save money and get that solid foundation in place.

@CornishPastyDownUnder

Go for it -I have 3 friends out there-all teaching- and another who was there for 3 years with her hubby/kids in mining then moved back to Oz with enough saved to put half down on their home... They all making lots of cash-love the lifestyle/experience.it can be a long term or short term thing depending on your contract. Obv you need to be prepared for the air con/indoorsy/mall living stuff that goes with the mid-east but do your research and have an adventure. Sure you're going to get the miserable naysayers on here as per, who'd deny anyone a good jolly coz what works for one person(them) has to work for another blahblah..but Id ditch England like a shot if you get the opportunity (as I did)..spent my adult life travelling and working around the world before settling in Oz. We had a choice of here, NZ or Canada but just loved the space, opportunity, wages and laid back good vibes over here..it hasnt changed and covids barely touched us!! Good luck with whatever you do.

What works for one person... Like having human/women's rights 😆

There are endless places for the OP to go, fucking Dubai should be bottom of the list.

If you post on the living overseas board you can ask mumsnetters who live in Dubai about the pros and cons.
I lived overseas for 25 years and had some fabulous experiences, but a proportion of expat life is still same shit, different bucket.

A mother is usually presumed to have a husband in Dubai.

You need a job with sponsorship. You need a full time nursery which aren't that many as most women don't work or aren't allowed to work.

I doubt you'd get a job paying enough on your own but internal transfer could be an option if they can prove they need to employ you specifically rather than a local.

Given you've never visited I have no idea why you think it's so great. It's only great for white men or Arab men. Generally speaking, men.

It's one thing to go on your own but another when a small child is involved.

Oh I didn’t know there was a living overseas board, thank you @ShanghaiDiva

And spot on @Hellothere19999 that’s exactly what I was asking for. Insight only, not bombarded about my ex stopping me. Who says he doesn’t live in Dubai? Or hasn’t fucked off to Oz? Or died?

Rents are very high, school fees very high, food costs high. You need to be on a good package which includes schooling and rent but these aren't as readily available as they used to be.

It isn't a place that you want to get into debt.

Plenty of places to adk for advice if you Google expats and Dubai.

Not lived there personally but work regularly with others out there and have friends and family there. Those who were single and were teaching/working for large firms (McKinsey, KPMG etc) loved it for a while but most came back after 2-5 years, partly because they became frustrated at overt sexism, being passed over for roles, not being able to go outside for large parts of the year... It can be very "fake". Social rules and expectations for women and lone parents can be hard and it is incredibly expensive. Those I know all had their accommodation either provided or subsidised, similarly gyms and membership at private clubs etc which all adds to the lifestyle of ex-pats in Dubai.

Go and visit, join some ex-pat groups on Facebook, get your work to transfer you if you can.

Who says he doesn’t live in Dubai? Or hasn’t fucked off to Oz? Or died?

I’m a single mum of a 15 month old, divorce should be finalised in a couple of months.

Why would you divorce a dead man?

There are less opportunities than there were a few years ago. In fact people have been leaving and losing their jobs (like Emirates) for a while and since covid more so. Look and ask on britishexpats.com web site for Middle East. It used to have dozens of posts every day - now much fewer. Women are respected there but doubt if you can take a child without father's permission and they may not allow you if you were not married to the father.

I’d definitely suggest you go, it’s not what the instagram ‘influencers’ would have you believe. We went for 3 days. I hadn’t even considered what it would be like but I felt incredibly uncomfortable the entire time, the final straw for me was when we had a confrontation with a local when the hotel driver was taking us to the mall (we quite taxi’s as we want to leave alive), he got threatened and told he should reverse even though his right of way as he was a service worker. Taxi driver told my partner who spoke same language as him that he gets 2 months off every 2yrs and works 7 days a week the rest of the time and gives his employer 40% of his earnings. If you’re rich great, if you’re not you’re treated like a second class citizen. The workers who built those malls were not even allowed inside. And don’t get me started on women’s rights. Besides all that I’d feel very uncomfortable being a single mother out there based on some of the behaviour of males I witnessed there, including someone snatching my daughter on the beach (for a photo it seemed). I could go on but guess you get the picture. It’s a place that leaves you with a very bad taste in your mouth if you look beneath the surface.

By all means move abroad, it will be an amazing opportunity and I moved away for a fresh start as a single mum when my son was 7, but I’d suggest you look at other options than Dubai.