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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU in thinking I can afford to move to Dubai?

348 replies

Partygirl2021 · 24/01/2021 20:12

I’m a single mum of a 15 month old, divorce should be finalised in a couple of months. It was always my dream to move abroad and Dubai is my first choice. My ex always refused to relocate. I earn £46k in London in a resourcing job. AIB unrealistic in thinking I could afford to live there? I know accommodation and school fees are high but I would love anyone’s experience.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 24/01/2021 21:03

If you don’t care about supporting a country that doesn’t support women’s rights and kidnaps it’s princesses then yeah, move to Dubai

tara66 · 24/01/2021 21:04

Regarding your child's father - if he has passed away you will need a death certificate.

Brunt0n · 24/01/2021 21:04

I wouldn’t want to raise a daughter in a country that thinks she’s worth less to society because she doesn’t have a penis

Daphnise · 24/01/2021 21:05

You are being unreasonable and foolish.

Defenbaker · 24/01/2021 21:06

OP, re your words " Who says he doesn’t live in Dubai? Or hasn’t fucked off to Oz? Or died?" Well, I doubt you'd be close to finalising a divorce, if your husband had already died.

None of this rings true, but if you're seriously considering this, I think it's a crazy idea.

Whattodo74 · 24/01/2021 21:07

Firstly leave it until after Eid when the market hopefully picks up, but yes cost of living is high but if you get rent / schooling you will be OK on 46k! Make sure you buy your clothes, beauty products here before you go!
I loved it and if the opportunity came up I'd go again.

sergeilavrov · 24/01/2021 21:07

I live in the UAE. It’s a fantastic place to have a family, I’m grateful every day for the unparalleled opportunities my children have as a result of living here. Bear in mind, you can’t move without a job offer - and you should make sure you get a good one. It is expensive here, no matter how simply you believe you will live. The demand for expatriates is in high end professions: engineers, medical, teaching. It is very competitive. I’m happy to answer any questions you have as you consider the move, I’ve lived in many places around the world and this is by far my favourite - and the place I get to call ‘home.’ There are lots of full time nurseries, and communities are welcoming.

I’m a woman. I have a senior position in a male dominated industry, haven’t experienced the sexist work culture others state. Be sure you speak to a variety of people who have lived there themselves, not indirect anecdotes.

Cosmos123 · 24/01/2021 21:07

@slashlover

Who says he doesn’t live in Dubai? Or hasn’t fucked off to Oz? Or died?

I’m a single mum of a 15 month old, divorce should be finalised in a couple of months.

Why would you divorce a dead man?

Grin
JorisBonson · 24/01/2021 21:09

My DF lived in a different Emirate for 15 years. I saw the changes first hand in Dubai, and preferred it the way it was before. On the surface it's all glitz and glam but it's horrendously expensive with some shocking poverty and inequality all around.

Plus the list of dos and don't are endless.

As one of his ex pat friends once told me - It's a lifestyle, but it's not a life.

CharlotteRose90 · 24/01/2021 21:12

Have a look at jobs out there first before thinking anything. Some employers put people in accommodation or money towards it and some don’t. Dubai on a whole is very expensive I found and I was there 8 months. I personally hated it but that’s me.

Balloondog · 24/01/2021 21:15

@Partygirl2021 I lived in Dubai for most of my adult life and whether you can afford to live there is really a matter of your standard of living and expectations.

DH and I lived on less than your salary with no expat package at the height of the most expensive time, but it was hard - we lived in a (very nice and large) one bed flat in Mirdif, had one car (bought outright) and budgeted pretty tightly. DH had been made redundant so we managed for 9 months but it wouldn't have been sustainable long term. The trickiest thing finance wise will be education - good international schools aren't cheap (check out the fees for schools like Victory Heights, JESS, DESS, GEMS Jumeirah Primary, Arcadia, Sunmarke, Southview for an idea of average fees).
The days of generous expat packages including education and housing allowances are rapidly disappearing and have been doing for sometime now.

On the other hand, rents have come down massively in the last 12 months. You can now rent a 3 bed townhouse/villa for the same price we were paying for the 1 bed apartment I mentioned. If you don't mind being in a residential area (eg. Springs/Mudon/Remraam/shorooq/Al Waha/meydan/akoya to name just a few small areas) rather than the heart of the city/marina/downtown then there are affordable options and you'll find a live in maid affordable which can be a blessing as a single parent.

Contrary to many people's assertions above, you don't actually need an employers sponsorship anymore to get a visa. Dubai launched a remote worker visa in October last year and you can now get a residence visa as long as you can prove an income of $5000/month and have adequate health insurance. So if your employer is happy for you to work remotely from there you could simply go with evidence of your payslips.

Dubai is what you make it, if you want to go and live in a penthouse in the marina and be able to go for brunches every weekend and drive the latest Range Rover then you'll find it expensive and likely unsustainable. If you simply want a change from your life here and are willing to compromise and live as a normal person, socializing with all nationalities in a variety of places from fancy hotels to hole in the wall restaurants, you can live quite easily.
Life as a single mum is arguably easier as you should be able to afford live in help and much of Dubai is set up to be very female friendly (you can usually skip queues and have separate, quicker offices for government business) and children are welcomed most places. I've never felt safer in my life, in fact I regularly feel intimidated/ afraid here in the UK whereas I could happily go out by myself at 3am in Dubai and feel perfectly safe.
It can be very hard with a young child at the height of summer as the what means paying for expensive indoor activities like soft play etc just for them to burn some energy and many mothers take the kids home over summer to escape the heat and visit family - if you are the main breadwinner you obviously can't just take off for two months (unless you can work remotely) and this can be hard but it's really only June- September that it's really hot. Otherwise, it's pleasant and you can have pool time everyday for free, so you'll likely have a waterbaby on your hands!

Basically, as with anywhere, any overseas move will largely be what you make of it. I've lived in 4 countries and there have been pros and cons to all of them. Do your sums first (check out dubizzle.com to get an idea of the cost of big things like houses/cars) and if the maths works, as others have said, take a holiday there, see if you like it and if you do, give it a go!

KarlUrbansWife · 24/01/2021 21:17

OP, I am in the same field as you and you would earn a lot more for the same role there - though cost of living is also very high.
There are London based agencies that work these roles and will sort your visa and relocation for you. I can't remember their names off the top of my head but you can find them if you search Linkedin.
Strongly recommend you go visit first though, it's definitely not for everyone. I say this as someone who has more than a little affinity with the culture.
The rest is your business, I won't give an unsolicited opinion on it.

ihearttc · 24/01/2021 21:21

I love Dubai, it’s my happy place and as soon as this is over I’m going back for a holiday. DH lived and worked in the Middle East for 5 years (he came back a year ago). He was in KSA and Dubai so lots of time has been spent there the last few years.
DH went and we stayed here because my oldest son was about to start High School when he went and it was initially only supposed to be for 2 years so we didn’t want to uproot him. If he had been a toddler I would have definitely gone with him. The lifestyle can be expensive but the opportunities the children get out there are amazing. I remember DS1 being awe struck when we were in Ski Dubai that the kids were having ski lessons after school!
I have never ever felt unsafe there. Emiratis love children and DS2 got a lot if attention as he was very blonde when he was little including being given Dirhams (currency) in his hands.

earsup · 24/01/2021 21:24

I went there about 14 years ago....join a friend to teach English...I lasted a week....I hated it...nothing to do except malls....malls....malls.....shopping....shopping....I still remember going to the airline office almost in tears and begging for the next flight out...I had to change in Prague and spent a week there to think about the Dubai experience....I was groped by Asian cab drivers....I saw sad Phillipino and other workers all looking downtrodden...You rarely see any Arabs....the whole place had a ' plastic ' feel...void of any culture

However, later I went to Oman and had a great year there...loved it....nice people and no fake plastic atmosphere....You couldn't pay me to return to Dubai..!!

Partygirl2021 · 24/01/2021 21:25

@Balloondog amazing advice - much appreciated

OP posts:
Shmithecat2 · 24/01/2021 21:26

@ihearttc

I love Dubai, it’s my happy place and as soon as this is over I’m going back for a holiday. DH lived and worked in the Middle East for 5 years (he came back a year ago). He was in KSA and Dubai so lots of time has been spent there the last few years. DH went and we stayed here because my oldest son was about to start High School when he went and it was initially only supposed to be for 2 years so we didn’t want to uproot him. If he had been a toddler I would have definitely gone with him. The lifestyle can be expensive but the opportunities the children get out there are amazing. I remember DS1 being awe struck when we were in Ski Dubai that the kids were having ski lessons after school! I have never ever felt unsafe there. Emiratis love children and DS2 got a lot if attention as he was very blonde when he was little including being given Dirhams (currency) in his hands.
DS (blonde and blue) got lots of the same attention when he was a toddler in KSA. Couldn't get 10mtrs into a mall without someone running their hands in his hair, or giving out a few 'Mashalla!'s or being picked up and hugged like a dolly 😂. For little ones, it's a glorious life, even in Saudi.
earsup · 24/01/2021 21:28

And I forgot to mention...the local ex pat club had a bar and a pool....the regulars were all from Sheffield or Lancashire....totally blanked me with my London accent...were obnoxious and rude to me...they all stood around dripping in gold and Chanel hand bags...just vile !

Beautiful3 · 24/01/2021 21:30

Someone I knew lived there with her husband for a couple of years. She hated it and ended up coming home without him. He is originally from there. She said the lack of equality and human rights for women really impacted on her.

TillyTopper · 24/01/2021 21:33

It really depends on what you will earn in Dubai doesn't it? If your job its paying 46k in London what is the salary in Dubai? Do you have a job there? What are/could be the other benefits such as childcare, health care etc?

ihearttc · 24/01/2021 21:33

@Shmithecat2

DH did 3 years in KSA and loved it. DS1 went to visit him there but I didn’t go. Now they’ve opened it up to tourist visas we are going to go when Covid permits.

hibbledibble · 24/01/2021 21:33

Dubai is a disgusting place, built on slave labour. It has no regard for human rights, women's rights, or gay rights. Single mothers aren't looked upon fondly either. Why would you want to move to such a place?

SoberCurious78 · 24/01/2021 21:34

@Shmithecat2 that just sound creepy, not glorious 🙄

KarmaNoMore · 24/01/2021 21:35

Dubai on 46k with a child? Good luck!

ihearttc · 24/01/2021 21:38

@SoberCurious78

It really isn’t. They love children that’s all.

Shmithecat2 · 24/01/2021 21:38

[quote ihearttc]@Shmithecat2

DH did 3 years in KSA and loved it. DS1 went to visit him there but I didn’t go. Now they’ve opened it up to tourist visas we are going to go when Covid permits.[/quote]
Its definitely worth a visit. I prefer Riyadh to Jeddah (lived in Jeddah for 2 years, then Riyadh, 6 years so far). Both have amazing places to see and things to do. I'm in the UK now (since the first lockdown) but DH is still there. We've kept mine and ds' iqama though, and hope to get out there again soon!

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