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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Inappropriate friend or AIBU

142 replies

Whammyyammy · 20/01/2021 22:18

Long story short. I'm going through HRT and gone completely off sex. Loyal, loving understanding, but highly sexed husband.

My good friend of 20+ years, is single & divorced and not interested in a relationship, she knows my current situation.

Out of the blue(i know she's been drinking) she has texted and suggested that she could kill two birds with one stone and 'satisfy' my husband and her own needs, if you know what I mean.

I've not replied, and he wouldn't dream of it regardless of my opinion.
Aibu to take a huge offence, or is she being realistic? How do u move on from this

OP posts:
Trinidadqueen · 20/01/2021 22:20

Is this for real?!

Santaiscovidfree · 20/01/2021 22:20

Text back your urge to run someone over in a fast car would be satisfied if she lay down in front of your car..
Personally I would block her and no longer consider her a friend..

EnjoyingTheSilence · 20/01/2021 22:20

She’s not a friend

StylishMummy · 20/01/2021 22:21

After picking my jaw up off the floor, I'd delete/block her and tell anyone you know exactly why!

Strugglingtodomybest · 20/01/2021 22:23

Was it a joke?

Bailegangaire · 20/01/2021 22:23

Text back and thank her for cheering you up, and say you and your DH haven’t had such a good laugh since the start of the first lockdown?

Then suggests she locks her phone away when drinking.

Bubbles1st · 20/01/2021 22:23

That is really sad. She must be very lonely and have low self esteem if after a drink she has text you that. I would be worried for her not offended.

I would ask in the morning if she is serious and really thinks that would be healthy and respectful, or if in fact she needs support to love her self and find a man when she is ready.

PurpleDaisies · 20/01/2021 22:25

Gosh.

LagneyandCasey · 20/01/2021 22:26

That's way out of order

BritWifeinUSA · 20/01/2021 22:26

Even if it’s a joke it’s a horrible joke. She needs a vibrator. Send her a link to Love Honey or something. Or she can register on Tinder.

Original poster
Whammyyammy · 20/01/2021 22:26

Not a joke, well not one I get lol. She's a very good friend neen through the mill lately , and I didn't see this coming at all.

Not sure whether I'm.really offended or worried for her. Totally out of character

OP posts:
ThePants999 · 20/01/2021 22:27

I'd delete/block her

You don't end a 20-year friendship over a drunk text. Don't be ridiculous.

I do agree with suggest she locks her phone away when drinking though!

Honeyroar · 20/01/2021 22:28

Oh my god! That’s revolting.

Original poster
Whammyyammy · 20/01/2021 22:28

@Bubbles1st

That is really sad. She must be very lonely and have low self esteem if after a drink she has text you that. I would be worried for her not offended.

I would ask in the morning if she is serious and really thinks that would be healthy and respectful, or if in fact she needs support to love her self and find a man when she is ready.

I'm not replying this evening , she will know I've read message. I'm going to reply tomorrow, but will give her time to message first
OP posts:
EssentialHummus · 20/01/2021 22:28

What bai said. “Oi, no drunk texting! And mrOP is accounted for, thanks very much.”

PurpleDaisies · 20/01/2021 22:29

That must just be a joke.

Lollypop701 · 20/01/2021 22:29

@Bailegangaire great response. Be prepared so sober reflection (severe embarrassment) from df

Original poster
Whammyyammy · 20/01/2021 22:30

@ThePants999

I'd delete/block her

You don't end a 20-year friendship over a drunk text. Don't be ridiculous.

I do agree with suggest she locks her phone away when drinking though!

Agree, we have helped each other through a lot, and value our friendship. Shes not promiscuous at all. I'm totally shocked.
OP posts:
isitsafetocomeoutyet · 20/01/2021 22:30

Well you know her better than we do. Is this out of character? Has she insinuated anything like this before?

If not and it's something worth saving (not sure I could get past the ickiness tbh) id wait till the morning to have a sober chat. In the cold light of day. She will hopefully already have the hangover regret kicking in.

goldielockdown2 · 20/01/2021 22:32

Tell her your DH wouldn't be satisfied with her suggestion as he wouldn't dream of fucking her.

Original poster
Whammyyammy · 20/01/2021 22:32

@isitsafetocomeoutyet

Well you know her better than we do. Is this out of character? Has she insinuated anything like this before?

If not and it's something worth saving (not sure I could get past the ickiness tbh) id wait till the morning to have a sober chat. In the cold light of day. She will hopefully already have the hangover regret kicking in.

Out of character and never mentioned it. Shes not a drinker, but has been lately. Friendship is worth saving. I'm more worriedly now I've been on here for her.
OP posts:
Magicpaintbrush · 20/01/2021 22:32

WTF did I just read? Does she realise he is your husband and not some timeshare blow up ken doll that she can just borrow when she feels horny??? That is so wrong on so many levels - I'm afraid if a friend messaged me that I would hit the fucking roof and they would know about it in no uncertain terms. That is absolute madness, what is she thinking???

Luckyelephant1 · 20/01/2021 22:33

Lol WTAF! And also WTAF that you have to ask mumsnet whether this is realistic or whether you have the right to be offended!

This time give her the benefit of the doubt since you know she was drunk and like a pp said make out it was a hilarious joke that gave you both a good laugh. But if she suggests it again she needs some stern words.

Hailtomyteeth · 20/01/2021 22:35

Are you sure they're not already fucking?

PurpleDaisies · 20/01/2021 22:36

I’m afraid if a friend messaged me that I would hit the fucking roof and they would know about it in no uncertain terms

If a good friend of mine sent me a message like that totally out of character I’d assume it was a joke that got lost through writing it down.

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