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Original poster

When do we teach daughters to fight back?

353 replies

Jimbellselmbath · 16/01/2021 23:47

Dd has been in trouble in school for "fighting"
She is 12 and a little skinny thing.
The other side was a boy, a school year older, taller and bigger, she said he has already turned 14. So nearer 2 years older.
He has history for attacking girls back to primary but his parents are very vocal and protective and their boy is an angel.
DD got the better of him in the "fight"
Dd said he started it and she finished it like we had always told her to do.
None of the above was disputed by either side.
DD was placed in isolation for a week although lockdown happened so she did 2 days. The boy got nothing although he was in school.
What has really riled me is the teacher was so bothered about her retaliating, that was the source of her punishment.
Having had time to think about it I am not happy.
So dd shouldn't retaliate? Should she do so when she's older?
If an older boy kicks her in the fanny on the bus, should she wait until the next day to report at school? What if he's not from the school? What about an adult? Should she sit quietly and take his abuse? At what age can a girl fight back? I want to go to his house but dd would die of shame
I have no faith in the school

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 17/01/2021 02:17

earthyfire I am so sorry. Thanks

Wheresmykimchi · 17/01/2021 02:18

This reply has been deleted

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ZaraCarmichaelshighheels · 17/01/2021 02:19

Just read your update, Puts a very different slant on things, the boy assaulted her and should be punished but your daughter appears to have acted with unnecessary force, she should have done enough to remove herself from danger, from what you say she has done far more than that.

Original poster
Jimbellselmbath · 17/01/2021 02:21

It is true. I have deliberated showing the emails and photo but those who don't believe would say They were fake anyway.
I will still email the head and I will still tell my children to fight back in all situations where they feel attacked, be that on the bus, in the park or school. And I will keep up with those self defence classes as I still believe it does more for them than telling the school who will do precisely nothing about bullying.

OP posts:
Wheresmykimchi · 17/01/2021 02:25

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster
Jimbellselmbath · 17/01/2021 02:26

I never said all of the teachers were in the building. I wasn't there. I know that there was a dire drill, no teachers saw the incident outside and that dd found a trusted neighbour inside the building. So was that is fire drill or not? If not why were children and limited staff outside for a prolonged period and some people were still inside. A fire drill will have to have been logged so I will ask for access to that too.

OP posts:
DioneTheDiabolist · 17/01/2021 02:26

Nice to see all the misogynist, fuckwits out tonight on this thread. More pissed off with the word fanny than an assault. Loving your lady dick swinging.

Or should that be Diques, with a side order of Kimchi and stupid?Hmm

DioneTheDiabolist · 17/01/2021 02:30

Back your DD up and call the police OP.

Wheresmykimchi · 17/01/2021 02:32

@DioneTheDiabolist

Nice to see all the misogynist, fuckwits out tonight on this thread. More pissed off with the word fanny than an assault. Loving your lady dick swinging.

Or should that be Diques, with a side order of Kimchi and stupid?Hmm

Ooft , don't know why you're picking on me Dione.

I don't actually have an issue with the word fanny. I never mentioned that.

I do however have several problems with OP's story - namely the absolute nonsense about the fire alarm. I work in a school, and this story has more red flags in it than a golf course. I couldn't care less if DD is female, male, or identifies as a peanut. The whole thing stinks.

Not sure why that makes me a misogynist. Because I don't automatically chant cries of "oh that poor woman yes men are dreadful" at a story like that, even when it's obvious , as pointed out by MANY pp, that it doesn't add up?

mumofone2019 · 17/01/2021 02:36

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mumofone2019 · 17/01/2021 02:43

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn at the poster's request due to privacy concerns.

DioneTheDiabolist · 17/01/2021 03:09

You think the OP is a troll? Report it, don't feed it.

Hawkins001 · 17/01/2021 03:17

which is the better option the bully keeps bullying or if teachers cannot prevent or protect and events continued happening what would then be the best course of action other than changing schools and why should the ops, daughter change just because a bully cannot learn manners and good behaviour ?

Wheresmykimchi · 17/01/2021 03:17

@DioneTheDiabolist

You think the OP is a troll? Report it, don't feed it.
What's that got to do with you calling me a misogynist? Or have you just calmed down and read the thread now instead of jumping straight on an opportunity to shout misogyny which in this case was completely unfounded?
DioneTheDiabolist · 17/01/2021 03:19

I didn't call you anything. But hey, if the cap fits?Grin

Funneth · 17/01/2021 03:19

Eurgh that lad sounds gross. Probably.got a dim thug father and so the cycle of BS continues

Wheresmykimchi · 17/01/2021 03:20

@DioneTheDiabolist

Nice to see all the misogynist, fuckwits out tonight on this thread. More pissed off with the word fanny than an assault. Loving your lady dick swinging.

Or should that be Diques, with a side order of Kimchi and stupid?Hmm

Very clever.

You've realised now that you misread the thread and an opportunity to start about misogyny and are now back tracking I see.

Wheresmykimchi · 17/01/2021 03:22

@Funneth

Eurgh that lad sounds gross. Probably.got a dim thug father and so the cycle of BS continues
Hmm

Whereas someone who flattens, repeatedly punches and sexually assaults someone is?

DioneTheDiabolist · 17/01/2021 03:24

You've realised now that you misread the thread and an opportunity to start about misogyny and are now back tracking I see.

Ya wha?

Wheresmykimchi · 17/01/2021 03:26

@DioneTheDiabolist

You've realised now that you misread the thread and an opportunity to start about misogyny and are now back tracking I see.

Ya wha?

Your original post called me dick swinging and misogynist. I've pointed out in neither of hose things an said nothing sort of the sort. You appear to have nothing to say than stupid comments rather than admitting you misread it

I can only presume youve realised how silly ou now look.

DioneTheDiabolist · 17/01/2021 03:29

Your original post called me dick swinging and misogynist.
No it didn't. But again, if the cap fits.🤷‍♀️

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 17/01/2021 03:31

They were outside for a fire drill and not one teacher saw this happen? No other students called a teacher?
He kicked her so hard in the privates she has a bruise, but the heel print was on her groin? Not sure how that would work.
The school phoned to tell you your dd was being punished, but nothing happened to the boy, even although both children agreed thats what happened and there must have been loads of witnesses.

Yeah, this happened Hmm

Funneth · 17/01/2021 03:34

@Wheresmykimchi come again?

Wheresmykimchi · 17/01/2021 03:34

@DioneTheDiabolist

Your original post called me dick swinging and misogynist. No it didn't. But again, if the cap fits.🤷‍♀️
Would you like to explain what a side order of kimchi meant ?
Wheresmykimchi · 17/01/2021 03:36

[quote Funneth]@Wheresmykimchi come again?[/quote]
Well apart from your sexist post full of made up assumptions, OPs DD punched the boy, flattend him to the floor and hit him repeatedly after kicking his private parts.

So did she come from a thug dad?