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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I can't buy you formula but il help you breastfeed ?

356 replies

zuptop · 14/01/2021 13:55

I have just seen this on one of the local Facebook groups . Can't help but feel this is adding pressure onto women who already have made decision to formula feed.

Something just doesn't sit right for me...
Although I am sure they believe they are being kind

"As well as donating items to a local food bank, I’d like to help parents who are struggling to afford infant formula. I can’t buy any for you but I can support you to maximise your breast milk production and therefore decrease how much formula you need to buy.
I’m a trained breastfeeding peer supporter and I’m part way through my breastfeeding counsellor studies"

So YABU- lady in question is just trying to help mums build milk supply or
YANBU- post is a little judge of formula and putting pressure on mums to breastfeed when they might not want to/ be able to.

OP posts:
sunsetorange · 14/01/2021 13:57

hmm not sure tbh. Maybe it's aimed at those who are mixed feeding. I don't find it offensive personally - person posting obviously thinks they are doing a good deed.

wixked · 14/01/2021 13:57

YBVU - good grief the woman is trained in helping people breast feed and is offering her services.

Ostryga · 14/01/2021 13:58

People will find anything judgy if they look hard enough.

FWIW I think the woman is amazing - free advice on how to breastfeed is a fab thing, and many, many mums give up bf because of the lack of support.

olderthanyouthink · 14/01/2021 14:00

Idk breastmilk is kinda free but formula feels really expensive to chip in compared to basic adult food.

When people were hoarding formula I would have helped feed a baby if their parents could get hold of any and would donate spare expressed milk if I had enough to be worth it. Tbh if someone close was struggling to establish breastfeeding I'd help out too, takes a village and all.

MrsFluffyMuff · 14/01/2021 14:01

YABU. Why is offering assistance to breastfeeding mothers seen as judgemental to formula feeders???

Original poster
zuptop · 14/01/2021 14:04

@MrsFluffyMuff
It's not aimed at breastfeeding mums though is it? Please read again

I’d like to help parents who are struggling to afford infant formula. I can’t buy any for you but I can support you to maximise your breast milk production and therefore decrease how much formula you need to buy.

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 14/01/2021 14:05

It's not allowed to donate or distribute formula via food banks IIRC so she might be stating that (perhaps a bit clumsily).

I don't think she's aiming her help at mums who would prefer to formula feed, but mums who are mixed feeding or want to breastfeed but are struggling.

shouldistop · 14/01/2021 14:05

I think it's fine.

EndemicPanda · 14/01/2021 14:06

Isn't it aimed at mixed feeders though? If someone has been using formula only for months on end they are unlikely to suddenly be able to start breastfeeding.

Original poster
zuptop · 14/01/2021 14:08

@EndemicPanda I know it made me feel sad thinking they would be desperately trying to get someone to relactate, cause more stress surely

OP posts:
SeasonFinale · 14/01/2021 14:09

YABU

BornIn78 · 14/01/2021 14:09

I think it sounds weird.

It sounds like she's been set some kind of assignment by her course, to do some case studies, converting women who are part formula feeding back to fully breast feeding, and she has to clock up a certain amount of cases.

unmarkedbythat · 14/01/2021 14:12

It's a bit like people choosing only to give food to street beggars rather than giving money. Some people are fine with that, others find it rather patronising and insulting.

EndemicPanda · 14/01/2021 14:12

I know it made me feel sad thinking they would be desperately trying to get someone to relactate, cause more stress surely

I think you're overthinking this.

nokidshere · 14/01/2021 14:12

The cheapest way to feed a baby is to breastfeed though. Many mums give up because it's bloody hard, they have no support or they don't try in the first place for whatever reasons. Maybe some of them would like to have breastfed but didn't feel they could, and some may be able to begin or carry on if they have some support.

I don't think she sounds judgmental of formula feeders

movingonup20 · 14/01/2021 14:12

Sounds like someone trying to help, I would say the same if someone asked me who had just given birth (so still had milk). Not everyone finds breastfeeding easy at the beginning so she could really help people and it will save them hundreds, possibly thousands of pounds

MrsFluffyMuff · 14/01/2021 14:13

Well surely it must be aimed at women who are at least partially breastfeeding? Trying to start a milk supply when you have never breastfed is extremely difficult, i dont think she is trying to help people start a non existant milk supply?

Whatwouldscullydo · 14/01/2021 14:13

If they are struggling to afford formula then presumably they are already on it or what are they struggling to afford?

If she wanted to help perhaps advise mums who are struggling to breastfeed and divulge anything she thinks will help re support for those already on formula who won't be able to suddenly just breastfeed. I'm.sure there's a few who would benefit from being pointed in the direction of help they may be entitled to but don't realise

Ostryga · 14/01/2021 14:13

Oh ffs conspiracies everywhere.

Women who are training to be breastfeeding counsellors have no such thing as case studies on trying to convert women from formula Confused

Breastfeeding is the best way to feed a baby. Some women struggle with breastfeeding and have little to no support to continue.

ChloeCrocodile · 14/01/2021 14:13

I agree with you OP. If it was just a case of "I'd like to offer peer support" obviously that would be great. But I think the way she's phrased it is fairly obviously judgemental. She's happy to donate normal food for children and adults and to help breastfeeding mums, but she makes a point of excluding formula fed babies. Formula is expensive to donate to foodbanks, but if you can't afford to donate a whole packet there is the option of donating cash and allowing the foodbank to buy what their clients need.

ThinkingIsAllowed · 14/01/2021 14:13

YABU

VenusClapTrap · 14/01/2021 14:14

It’s a bit badly phrased, but I don’t think there’s anything offensive in it. It’s an offer of help; people can accept it or ignore it if it isn’t of interest.

slashlover · 14/01/2021 14:15

I can’t buy any for you but I can support you to maximise your breast milk production and therefore decrease how much formula you need to buy.

Nowhere does it say anything about restarting, it says maximise the production.

nokidshere · 14/01/2021 14:15

You are not allowed to donate formula to food banks

Ostryga · 14/01/2021 14:15

Food banks are not allowed to give out formula because bf is considered the biological norm, and most food banks follow UNICEF guidelines on that.

Formula is generally acquired through healthy start vouchers and the local council of parents can’t afford it.

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