I can't buy you formula but il help you breastfeed ?

[zuptop]

I have just seen this on one of the local Facebook groups . Can't help but feel this is adding pressure onto women who already have made decision to formula feed.

Something just doesn't sit right for me...
Although I am sure they believe they are being kind

"As well as donating items to a local food bank, I’d like to help parents who are struggling to afford infant formula. I can’t buy any for you but I can support you to maximise your breast milk production and therefore decrease how much formula you need to buy.
I’m a trained breastfeeding peer supporter and I’m part way through my breastfeeding counsellor studies"

So YABU- lady in question is just trying to help mums build milk supply or
YANBU- post is a little judge of formula and putting pressure on mums to breastfeed when they might not want to/ be able to.

I think @BertieBotts is right. UNICEF has advised food banks against giving out formula because of safety concerns. I think that’s what behind it - it’s not that she doesn’t want to give formula or thinks it’s bad, it’s that she can’t donate it to the food bank and knows it’s expensive to buy, so she’s offering her services as a peer supporter instead.

I understand the not being allowed .. just think it's very unrealistic of her to expect to suddenly get formula feeding mums breastfeeding . Putting pressure on them .

From a recent UNICEF recommendation

"food banks do not accept donations of
infant formula or distribute infant formula for babies"

www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2019/05/Provision-of-formula-milk-at-food-banks-Unicef-UK-Baby-Friendly-Initiative.pdf

Also when I was pregnant I looked up things like lactation consultants and they are so expensive, the more free support out there the better because if your struggling for money breastfeeding takes out the need to buy stuff all the time.

Agree with all pp its a good thing she is doing. Why is there always a need to judge and present something as out to upset?

I think it's fairly obvious she is aiming it at people who are either mixed feeding or are unsure about whether to continue trying to breastfeed or not. I really don't think there is any malice in it whatsoever upon rereading exactly what she said.

But she isn't putting pressure on anyone. It's an offer of help. Surely people just wouldn't contact her if they didn't want to. I think you are massively overthinking this.

@Buddytheelf85 I think it's difficult to start breastfeeding when you have been formula feeding . I know my supply dried up when I reduced at 10 months .. I tried herbal remedies pumping etc can't imagine being under pressure to do it because i knew I couldn't afford formula so someone trying to get me to relactate

I understand the not being allowed .. just think it's very unrealistic of her to expect to suddenly get formula feeding mums breastfeeding . Putting pressure on them .

She didn't say that she can help exclusively formula feeding mothers to breastfeed though did she?

I understand the not being allowed .. just think it's very unrealistic of her to expect to suddenly get formula feeding mums breastfeeding.

But as mentioned it very obviously aimed at mixed feeding, which so many women do. You've conjured up these ideas about her offering to get women who only use formula to relactate from nowhere. YABU.

YABU but I think she's worded it poorly.
She should have left out all mention of formula and just concentrated on breastfeeding support.

I don't think she's making any judgement on formula feeders, you're being oversensitive. She's offering help to women stuck in the "top up trap". She is a breastfeeding supporter. She probably just wants to help hungry babies and mums at their wits end scared of how to get the formula. If someone doesn't breastfeed that's up to them but are you saying this woman can't offer help with the skillset she has to the people who DO want to breastfeed better?
There has been zero breastfeeding support this past year and breastfeeding continuation rates have gone down according to PHE statistics.
Shoplifting of baby formula has gone right up in the past 12 months in my local Tesco. People are desperate.

Yanbu. If she was only offering help to maximise milk production then it could be seen as a positive thing. But she’s literally dismissed formula in that same post which is judgemental and patronising.

If her help is towards breastfeeding then formula doesn’t need mentioning.

The pressure on the parents is financial, she's offering help with a potential solution. She can't be like Oprah with tins of milk so she is offering what she can.

I know someone who still had milk months after stopping BFing and she hadn't dont it for long at all so for some people it could be possible, even it it wasn't for you. Perhaps your own experience is affecting your view off this.

She should have aimed it at breastfeeding women but she has specifically said formula feeding !

It's worded very poorly.

If anyone is struggling to breastfeed, or wants to maximise their breastmilk output, or is having difficulty accessing breastfeeding support services during these times, I'm available for some 1:1 guidance and help. I’m a trained breastfeeding peer supporter and I’m part way through my breastfeeding counsellor studies.

That would have done fine.

No need for the bit about how she's donated to a food bank (yes, well done, round of applause for you 😇), and the stuff about infant formula.

That would make me really angry, but probably because our circumstances are such that I wasn’t able to BF either of my kids despite desperately wanting to. We FF out of necessity and I resent that some people would judge me for something I had no choice over (being born with non-functioning boobs).

This comes across as so pious. She will either help parents that need to feed their kids with formula, or she won’t. “I won’t buy formula”, honestly what a pile of pretentious crap.

I appreciate others will probably not be so touchy.

(Also before I am flamed I am well aware that FF is a fully valid feeding choice in its own right. It just wasn’t my choice)

She should have aimed it at breastfeeding women but she has specifically said formula feeding!

Yes because it's obviously aimed at people who are using both breast milk and formula who can no longer afford the formula and therefore might want to increase their breast milk supply. There wouldn't be a lot of point in helping people who are already successfully exclusively breastfeeding. I don't know why you are misunderstanding it.

I also think if she was a breastfeeding counsellor , or in training, she'd have said this surely? There are potentially safeguarding issues here, even if the intention is well-meant.

Yes because it's obviously aimed at people who are using both breast milk and formula who can no longer afford the formula and therefore might want to increase their breast milk supply. There wouldn't be a lot of point in helping people who are already successfully exclusively breastfeeding. I don't know why you are misunderstanding it.

Exactly

Clearly she’s trying to help those who do want to breastfeed but are struggling with supply / some other issue. She’s not telling those that have been formula feeding for 6 months to suddenly start milking their breasts.

YABU.

If assume she meant those who are combo feeding not getting women to relactate after 6 months.

Ridiculous food banks don't do formula

I imagine her intentions are well placed. It's poorly worded. By linking her help to formula feeding and affordability issues someone (especially a new mum who is sensitive) could interpret it as a dig "you can afford to ff yet if you try hard enough you can feed the baby for free. I can help"

Clunky. Has the potential to offend. But I don't think they intended it to be taken that way.

It's very odd. The way to help mums who are struggling to afford formula is to buy them formula.

@nokidshere. I'm absolutely shocked by that. If a women has made the (perfectly valid) decision not to breastfeed and then struggles to afford formula, why is it OK not to feed her baby? It's not like she can go back in time. I say this as someone who breastfed until 18 months.

YANBU I think it's a bit of a strange thing to put post.