I can't buy you formula but il help you breastfeed ?

[zuptop]

I have just seen this on one of the local Facebook groups . Can't help but feel this is adding pressure onto women who already have made decision to formula feed.

Something just doesn't sit right for me...
Although I am sure they believe they are being kind

"As well as donating items to a local food bank, I’d like to help parents who are struggling to afford infant formula. I can’t buy any for you but I can support you to maximise your breast milk production and therefore decrease how much formula you need to buy.
I’m a trained breastfeeding peer supporter and I’m part way through my breastfeeding counsellor studies"

So YABU- lady in question is just trying to help mums build milk supply or
YANBU- post is a little judge of formula and putting pressure on mums to breastfeed when they might not want to/ be able to.

I see what you mean but I'd only feel this way if I were a bit defensive about my choice not to BF... as PP has said, it's great that women are being offered more help and support when it comes to this area of motherhood

So unreasonable. How awful

@zuptop

She should have aimed it at breastfeeding women but she has specifically said formula feeding !

I don't think she has, formula feeding parents would have no need of breastfeeding support. I think she has worded the post poorly and you have chosen to take offence at what was a well intentioned post not aimed specifically at you (I presume you are either currently or have previously formula fed).

Food banks don't accept or give out formula so it couldn't be donated anyway.

@AlternativePerspective

Yanbu. If she was only offering help to maximise milk production then it could be seen as a positive thing. But she’s literally dismissed formula in that same post which is judgemental and patronising.

If her help is towards breastfeeding then formula doesn’t need mentioning.

I agree.

If she wants to support mothers with breast-feeding, then good for her. No need to mention formula at all, especially to those who must be anxious about being able to afford or otherwise access a supply of formula.

YANBU and there is something very off about the message and the way it's phrased.

Please do check with local food banks as some take formula. I donated two tins when my son moved to cow's milk

I also think if she was a breastfeeding counsellor , or in training, she'd have said this surely?

She did specify that she is a breast peer supporter and in training to be a fully fledged breastfeeding counsellor. She clearly talks about helping to maximise production to reduce the amount of formula people need to buy.

"I can support you to maximise your breast milk production and therefore decrease how much formula you need to buy. I’m a trained breastfeeding peer supporter and I’m part way through my breastfeeding counsellor studies"

Honestly can't see how this would be read other than trying to offer practical support when unable to provide material support.

Many women do both, and many of those who breastfeed - with or without formula as well - struggle to maintain or increase supply or to pump breastmilk. The advice could be valuable and help reduce stress. It's hard doing it on your own, especially when there is a lot of social pressure that if you reach out for help then you're not doing enough - been there, had that.

Maybe not the best worded, but as others said, there are other process other than donations for formula (both because of unicef as others said and there have in some places been concerns around tampering) and she's trying to be clear that she cannot help those who use formula by buying it for them, but she can help those who also breastfeed.

And ffs, no, breastfeeding counselors do not get any bonus points for converting people. Where do people come up with these weird ideas.

YABU. She can't give out formula so she is offering her skills to help instead. You're projecting.

@MrsFluffyMuff

*Yes because it's obviously aimed at people who are using both breast milk and formula who can no longer afford the formula and therefore might want to increase their breast milk supply. There wouldn't be a lot of point in helping people who are already successfully exclusively breastfeeding. I don't know why you are misunderstanding it.*

Exactly

Because it isn't obvious actually.

If it wasn’t aimed at formula feeding mothers it wouldn’t have been written to them.

Offering breastfeeding support = great

Offering to get women who (for whatever reason) are formula feeding breastfeeding support (that is no good to them) yet trying to frame it as ‘look how helpful and amazing I am’ = fuck off.

@Iamonlyme

Please do check with local food banks as some take formula. I donated two tins when my son moved to cow's milk

That's good, it's ridiculous that some refuse. Nothing says ff parents are shit parents than we'd rather your kids went hungry than help you

@zuptop

I understand the not being allowed .. just think it's very unrealistic of her to expect to suddenly get formula feeding mums breastfeeding . Putting pressure on them .

You've Def misread it op. She says maximize not restart.

And why do you understand why they wouldn't give out formula?

@majesticallyawkward

She is directly addressing parents who are formula feeding, though. She's not addressing mothers who're struggling with breast-feeding and offering support. She's targetting those who formula feed specifically to reduce their need for formula.

I'm not sure whether the main tone I'm getting from her post is bully or pervert. Is this definitely a woman?

After Dd was born, I had to be rehospitalised due to the consequences of shit maternity care. My mil asked me how she would take care of my dd if I wasn't there to feed her. The midwife said she wasn't allowed to recommend formula but she nodded her head in the direction of a box we had in case of emergency.

YANBU. She sounds judgy to me.

Tbh it makes sense that if someone is so poor they can't even afford to feed their baby they should have a good think about the free option. If they get on with it it's a lot easier than bottle feeding too.

My milk ran out when DD2 was a couple of weeks old so I couldn't BF her. I'd have loved to have had some support from someone who might have been able to help me.

@SleepingStandingUp because everyone abs bloody told me they don't give it , duh!

I wonder if she's trying to increase/fulfil her hours of counselling done, for her counselling course.

I don't know why it's so hard for so many people on this thread to understand that combination feeding (feeding both breastmilk and bottle milk) is a legitimate and valid choice that many women make.

I've even heard this rubbish from midwives. No one seems to understand that combination feeding is a thing and it's actually very popular.

But this "all or nothing" attitude to breastfeeding is what contributes to so many people feeling like they've failed as soon as they feed a baby that first bottle of formula. Which is why a few people here are feeling so invalidated at someone offering to help with that.

YABU she's not telling people not to get formula, or stopping them accessing that support, but offering a resource to women who want to breastfeed but are struggling and therefore having to look into formula.

@Seeingadistance yes she is definitely a woman! I know of her and have seen her out. I didn't formula feed for those asking , went straight to cows milk.

Private lactation consultant appointments are £££. So this is an amazing offer.

@SleepingStandingUp I know they don't accept it because all of you lovely ladies have told me they don't

[quote zuptop]@SleepingStandingUp because everyone abs bloody told me they don't give it , duh! [/quote]
Well not duh! It read like you approved of them not giving it, i was asking why. Fair enough I misunderstood your post but no need to be impolite