I can't buy you formula but il help you breastfeed ?

[zuptop]

I have just seen this on one of the local Facebook groups . Can't help but feel this is adding pressure onto women who already have made decision to formula feed.

Something just doesn't sit right for me...
Although I am sure they believe they are being kind

"As well as donating items to a local food bank, I’d like to help parents who are struggling to afford infant formula. I can’t buy any for you but I can support you to maximise your breast milk production and therefore decrease how much formula you need to buy.
I’m a trained breastfeeding peer supporter and I’m part way through my breastfeeding counsellor studies"

So YABU- lady in question is just trying to help mums build milk supply or
YANBU- post is a little judge of formula and putting pressure on mums to breastfeed when they might not want to/ be able to.

PS I have come across a few "breastfeeding peer supporters" who are really aggressively judgy about people's feeding choices. I think the organizations who train them need to add in a module about communicating with people in a sensitive way.
Maybe I've been in too many feeding groups for the past year and a half and become desensitized because of some of the truly nasty stuff in some groups but I still don't think what this woman wrote was that bad.

@NoOneOwnsTheRainbow

I don't know why it's so hard for so many people on this thread to understand that combination feeding (feeding both breastmilk and bottle milk) is a legitimate and valid choice that many women make.

I've even heard this rubbish from midwives. No one seems to understand that combination feeding is a thing and it's actually very popular.

But this "all or nothing" attitude to breastfeeding is what contributes to so many people feeling like they've failed as soon as they feed a baby that first bottle of formula. Which is why a few people here are feeling so invalidated at someone offering to help with that.

YES - and that it has been shown that in communities where combination feeding is the norm, such as Hispanic communities in the US, babies receive breastmilk for longer.

[quote Seeingadistance]@majesticallyawkward

She is directly addressing parents who are formula feeding, though. She's not addressing mothers who're struggling with breast-feeding and offering support. She's targetting those who formula feed specifically to reduce their need for formula.

I'm not sure whether the main tone I'm getting from her post is bully or pervert. Is this definitely a woman?[/quote]
As in combination feeding
So instead of 4 bf and 4 formula feeds you can get up to 6 bf and halve the formula you ise

No one is saying they'd rather infants went hungry. Food banks can help those who are eligible get Healthy Start vouchers that allows parents to choose the formula that best suits their child for as long as they're eligible rather than risk the issues with switching formulas because of whatever is donated at the time.

The person described wants to help those who mix feed their babies, which can result in reduced production issues, to do so as well as possible. It in no way says that formula feeders are shite parents.

Exactly ! I think it's fab that she is offering this free support but nasty that it's aimed at forums feeders to help the reduce what they buy, very judgmental .

I don't see it as her judging or trying to pressurise formula feeding mums. To me it reads as offering to help mothers who want to breastfeed/increase supply but are stuck in the formula top up trap which can be difficult to get out of without support and a bit of guidance. Lactation specialists and online breastfeeding classes can be expensive so in the absence of breastfeeding groups and baby groups i think what shes offering is a really kind thing.

Surely she's just offering up the skill she has to anyone who might want it

Could have worded it a lot differently, why not just say that you are happy to support and help anyone who needs help with breastfeeding/milk production and leave it at that,

Seems preachy and pudgy and smug and I'm pretty sure that wasn't the intention.

YANBU. Absolutely nonsensical to mention formula at all and I can see how some women (as you have) may read between the lines as to what she's saying. It's also patently obvious that someone who is trained as a breastfeeding counsellor/consultant will support/encourage breastfeeding over any other method of feeding.

@SleepingStandingUp sorry just feel like I'm being attacked , when I say I understand I mean please will you all stop telling me 😄

I’ve never formula fed but after seeing the price of formula, I’m amazed so many do. I know breastfeeding can be difficult before anyone jumps on me, I’ve breastfed five children so definitely understand that but formula is absolutely extortionate.

I mean it's in the wording. she uses the word maximise. I can't stress enough how obvious it is that this is aimed at those who are mixed feeding or potentially thinking of jacking in breastfeeding as they are struggling.

@zuptop

Exactly ! I think it's fab that she is offering this free support but nasty that it's aimed at forums feeders to help the reduce what they buy, very judgmental .

Help them reduce what they but because one costs £8-10 a box and one is free. Hello them reduce because some people so want to increase supply but can't afford a lactation specialist.

Honestly it's like you're looking to be offended.

Of you bf and ft and want to increase your supply, she's offering to help.
If you don't, she's not talking to you.

@Norwayreally

I’ve never formula fed but after seeing the price of formula, I’m amazed so many do. I know breastfeeding can be difficult before anyone jumps on me, I’ve breastfed five children so definitely understand that but formula is absolutely extortionate.

Yup my bank balance is glad my twins are now on cows milk! Although buying a damn cow might be cheaper

@zuptop FWIW I read it the same way that you did, so I'll say YANBU.

literally what @TiptopJ has said. I cannot see how people are reading it any differently.

I breastfed for two years and I'm deeply persuaded about the benefits of breastfeeding but a note like this makes me very angry. Donate or don't but stop pontificating.

I love the fact everyone assumes I formula fed .

I breastfed then cows milk

I believe fed is best. No judgment on formula or breast from me .

I don't like her tone and pressure on women

Private lactation consultants are extortionate too. I expect the woman was touting for business.

I breastfed DS1 for 6 weeks and was struggling so much, had multiple cases of mastitis, bleeding nipples, thrush and no support so went on to formula for all our sakes. Breastfeed DS2 no bother from Day 1.

It's not always a choice. This lady might have been able to help me with DS1 but not if she is as preachy as she sounds.

She’s trying to be helpful, and not sure why you are affronted, especially as you breastfed?

I think if a woman has chose to formula feed then it's obviously for a reason. I think it's cruel if for some reason she can't afford formula to be offered help to breastfeed again! Could be number of reasons breast cancer , infections, trauma etc so offering help to breastfeed when someone has chose to formula feed is a joke and the more I read her post the more of a judgemental cow she sounds.

OP there is literally no explaining it to you. shes not talking to women who purely formula feed. not worth the energy you are spending on it getting worked up.

Why not just say - if anyone would like help with breastfeeding msg me rather than
"As well as donating items to a local food bank, I’d like to help parents who are struggling to afford infant formula" why specifically mention formula

@sunsetorange well she hasn't explained herself well has she ?