@Caneloalvarez
I was with you all the way until you said this:
I really appreciate the breastfeeding advocates that offer balanced and helpful comments and that dont demonise formula. But breastfeeding grief shouldn't even be a thing! Nobody should have to feel grief or like a failure if it didn't work out.
Breastfeeding grief is absolutely a thing, it shouldn't 'be a thing' in the sense that women should be enabled wherever possible to breastfeed when they want to, but you seem to be implying it 'shouldn't be a thing' because women would naturally not be upset at not being able to, and it's only the perceived 'pressure' to breastfeed that means anyone is upset by having to use formula instead.
This is simply, absolutely, utterly untrue. For some women (lots of women!) it is a basic biological drive to want to feed your child from your body. It is an instinct. It forms part of the delicate balance of post-partum hormones because it is what the body expects to do. Not to be able to can make women upset/grieve for all manner of reasons, even if literally everyone in their life (midwife, partner, family, friends) are telling them to pack it in, it doesn't matter, fed is best. ESPECIALLY then.
I really struggled to breastfeed, it took me weeks to get to a place where it didn't hurt and months before it was easy. At which point of course everyone started pressuring me to stop because 'baby doesn't need it' 
.
All anyone told me (midwife, HV, GP, partner, mother, sister) when I asked for help or support was that if it was difficult, I should stop, use formula, it doesn't matter. Astonishingly, all this 'support' to use formula didn't make me feel better at all - I wanted to breastfeed, not be 'excused' from breastfeeding! I felt totally unheard until I found proper volunteer breastfeeding support groups and became friends with other breastfeeding mums.
So if I had stopped, the breastfeeding grief I would undoubtedly have felt would have had nothing to do with 'pressure' to breastfeed - I desperately wanted to do it, for her and for me, not because i thought I'd look bad or be judged if I didn't. I appreciate it may not be that way for you, or every woman - but to discount my experience and put the natural instinct many women have to breastfeed down to external pressure is incredibly dismissive.
Also this:
When I was struggling, I felt that the breastfeeding advocates were the loudest, especially online, it actually felt like I was in the minority for wanting to switch to formula!!
You may well have felt like that, and I'm sorry you felt like that. But the fact of the matter is, the vast vast majority formula feed. You don't need 'advocates' for formula feeding because it is the norm. They are not 'loud' because they don't have to be - the messages in support of formula are at the societal level, where one of the universal symbols for 'baby' is 'bottle', where you almost never see a breastfed baby on TV, in children's books, where formula companies advertise their products on television (and more and more co-opt breastfeeding to do so by claiming their bottle is 'just like the breast' or that their formula is 'based on decades of research into breastmilk', and undermine extended breastfeeding by advertising their 6months+ stuff as being for 'when it's time to move on' as if there is an agreed cut off point for breastfeeding). It's where my little girl is considered funny at nursery for pretending to feed the dollies from her chest instead of using the bottles (and packets of formula) provided for the children's [pretend play. Where breastfeeding women have had to fight to have their right to breastfeed in public protected by law because of the rampant discrimination they faced before it was, and this legal right is still frequently abrogated and questioned and debated.
That is the reality; however breastfeeding advocacy online makes you feel, you always have the option to avoid it. Breastfeeding women are the minority, and live in a world where their minority status makes their life difficult in many ways - absolutely top of the list being that due to so few women breastfeeding for any length of time, the HCPs who are supposed to help them often no virtually nothing about normal breastfeeding behaviour. Advocacy is needed because to establish and maintain breastfeeding women need support that is by and large completely lacking in the mainstream because it is such a minority practice. The push nowadays to silence that advocacy and support and paint it as 'bullying' and 'judgment', because it causes the overwhelming majority some discomfort really, really troubles me.