DH just sabotaged my lie in in the most spectacular fashion.

[bananamuncher]

I was up most of the night with writhing breastfeeding toddler, DH promised me a lie in as I sobbed at 3am about my poor battered nipples. Morning arrives. 5 year old wakes and DH takes his sweet time to get up and take him downstairs which means I’m basically awake now. I hear screaming and sighing and much drama from downstairs. I do get brought a cup of tea in bed though, (proofof no intention to let me sleep...?) While delivering tea he asks me lots of questions about where things are and the day’s weather (how the fuck would I know?).

Five year old comes flying in, switches on lights and climbs under the covers, waking toddler and bringing dog into bed. I can hear DH downstairs playing the fucking guitar! He finally comes up to collect five year old and also takes toddler downstairs. Complains he is useless at making coffee and he can’t find many, many things.

I hear more screaming and shouting from downstairs and decide to give up and go down. I get downstairs to kitchen,DH, five year old and dog all covered in milk ( some bizarre accident apparently) DH inconsolable and flapping about incapable of cleaning it up. Five year old now running around naked except open dressing gown, DH still quizzing me about toddlers missing slipper and the fucking weather!

He’s now taken himself off for a bath....

WIBU to bury him under the patio?

I’m laughing about it to be honest but Jesus Christ....

I'm glad you laughing

I wouldn't be.

Is he always this useless? I mean, what is the actual point of him being there?

This sounds like life in general would be much calmer and less work for you if he wasn't around.

He sounds like a selfish dickhead.

Oh, and there’s now milk under my fucking oven...

That was actually very mean of him and I feel for you having to cope with a man child on top of your other children. You must feel very tired and frustrated.

I'd be pretty fed up 😔

I wouldn't be fucking laughing

He can't make coffee? What a tool!

Wow. Your DH sounds like a useless manchild quite frankly. He clearly doesn't want to be left alone with his OWN children. He owes you a proper lie in at the very least.

Not sure what there is to laugh at tbh.

I wouldn't be laughing...is he always useless?

Well, his plan worked, you came, sorted things out and now he can luxuriate in the bath.

Plus, you probably won't ask again, so he's really winning.

Sorry you had a crap night, OP.

I'd be tempted to sleep somewhere else for a night and really leave him to be a responsible adult!

Why can't he parent his children? I'd be fucking livid - not laughing

I would have taken myself off for a bath and left him to it. I wouldn't be laughing either.

I wouldn’t be laughing at this dickhead either.

I wouldn't be laughing either. What a dick.
I think you should wait til the kids are in bed and calmly explain 1) how much you need a lie in and 2) what a lie in means.
If he is an arse about it then I would stop being considerate of his sleep.
Poor you.

He’s honestly a bit clueless but usually thoughtful. He was up most of the night too, but yes, he could do better

You've enabled all this by getting up and allowing him to go for a bath whilst you tidy up.

So I'd say he's the one laughing - at you.

Glad you find it funny! He sounds flipping useless, if you'll excuse me saying so.

My DP is very big on the loud sighing and huffing about when I'm supposedly at leisure in another room as well though do I sympathise - not to mention the massive flapping if anything wet or messy happens to him (spills, dropped crockery etc). I have taken to going to the other end of the house as if I don't rescue him, he'll simply have to sort it it himself. I think he might have been a bit embarrassed recently by the 3yo (parroting me) saying "don't panic daddy, we just need the dustpan and brush, it's not a disaster!" last time he dropped a bottle on the kitchen floor 😆

No way I'd be silently putting up with that. Time for a come to Jesus conversation and what shits going to be like from now on.. then go back to bed.

I'd be tempted to go and plonk toddler in the bath with him tbh

@Whoateallthestuffingballs

Well, his plan worked, you came, sorted things out and now he can luxuriate in the bath.

Plus, you probably won't ask again, so he's really winning.

Sorry you had a crap night, OP.

This

He is basically making out he cant do it so you have to

Bet he doesn’t do this at work

I voted YABU but in the sense that YABU to be laughing about it. He sounds fucking useless and you seem to have an extra child on your hands

The answer to this is that he needs to do it regularly so that he learns where everything is... make sure he keeps at it until he knows what’s what and THEN you will start to pitch back in again.

It’s not like you’re getting any benefit from him getting up, so he’s not actually giving you anything that needs to be paid back.

Whenever you’re actually able to have an undisturbed lie in, then you can start getting up again...

I don't know what is worse, his selfishness or incompetence.

Think about this, he is capable of playing a guitar but not making a cup of coffee or cleaning up spilt milk? That isn't incompetence that is choice.

I’m laughing because it’s just so ridiculous. When the tiredness kicks in I’ll be livid.

@gamerchick

No way I'd be silently putting up with that. Time for a come to Jesus conversation and what shits going to be like from now on.. then go back to bed.

I'd be tempted to go and plonk toddler in the bath with him tbh

I'd go one better and chuck the milk covered dog in the bath...