To leave baby to cry?

[Hullllla]

When everything that you can do has been done, is this acceptable or just a big no no?

Absolute no. How old are they?

Newborn no. 6 months...maybe. I'm on the fence there.

How old?

How old is the baby?

4 weeks. I don’t know what to do.

Hi, is so tough looking after little ones. I have a 5 month old that will not sleep lately.
Are you trying to get the baby to sleep?
I find sometimes leaving them to cry for a few minutes releases a bit of tension and then you can calm them down. Xx

I wouldn’t with my baby. Sometimes I will just hold her whilst she cries whilst I take some deep breaths and speak in a soothing voice. At that point I have accepted there’s not much else practical I could do but I’d never just leave her.

Yes, if the baby is safe and you need a minute to collect your thoughts.

Depends how long for. My DD2 needed to be left alone to have a 2-3 min scream in order to get to sleep. Some babies do cry because they're over tired and your contact and loving efforts are preventing them from getting to sleep.

However I would say that any more than 5 minutes is not ok and they need you.

Depending on how old really and what else you're doing.

If you need to go to the toilet/have a shower/feed yourself or do something else important quickly, then yes, it's OK to let them cry for five minutes while you do that.

But generally I cuddled mine while they were randomly crying for no reason. DS1 pretty much cried for 12 hours solid every day for the first three months of his life. It was not fun.

Nope. If your child is clean, fed and not tired, and still crying, then there is something else wrong. Pick them up, cuddle them, take them for a walk, pop them in the bath, distract distract distract, do not leave them to cry.

Of course, if you are in a position where you're at breaking point, putting them down in a safe space (ie cot) for a moment while you have a breather is acceptable, but only for a moment.

If your child continues to scream (not just whingeing) then i would suggest phoning your GP.

Are you breastfeeding? At 4 weeks, they just need to be close to you.

If you need a few moments to collect yourself, then yes, pop them into their cot and step away for a few minutes until you feel able to go back.

When you return, pop baby on your chest and shush them, they’ll be able to hear your heartbeat and this will often soothe them.

My babies used to fuss and bit and cry when they were first put down, but I found that if I just ignored them they would settle down pretty quickly. I made sure of course that there were no obvious problems that I needed to sort out for them. As you get more experience with them it is easy to tell if they are truly in distress or just protesting. They quite quickly got used to the idea that this is where I go to sleep.

Four weeks is far too young for them to learn to self settle - unless you are feeling exasperated and need to walk away and calm down.
If you are at end of your tether, then it may be best to put them somewhere safe and walk away into the garden, into another room , fetch a mug of tea or call someone else (granny, partner, friend, sibling or in extremis a helpline) or do some long, slow breathing to relax a little before going back into them.

YABU. It's bloody tough at the beginning and feels relentless. If they are crying uncontrollably then you need to get them looked at. Could it be colic? What ever you do don't leave them to cry on their own. Get ear plugs if you have to, but just being with you will bring comfort to them, even though they may still be wailing. It's called the 4th trimester for a reason.

Been on my chest since 5 this morning and no signs of settling ...

If you are getting to tne end of your tether and need five minutes take it. Go into another room and breath.

Get your baby a dummy. Hold them upright against your chest. Give them a cuddle and sit down and stick the telly on. This will pass OP.

If they're crying when you hold them and crying when they're down and you've tried everything then you may as well put the baby down and do something. They're crying anyway.

There's no point breaking your own back if you can't do anything right now. Sometimes babies cry for hours and you just have to wait for them to stop.

Don't leave them on their own and go out or anything but you shouldn't feel guilty for going to the bathroom or getting a cup of tea or sitting down in a room close by to give yourself a break.

At 4 weeks if they cry and eveuthing has been done I think you just need to hold them even if they continue to cry. If this is a constant thing then I’d be asking health professionals about silent reflux.
If you need to put them down to eat yourself etc then don’t feel guilty but don’t leave to cry at this young

4 weeks is very young to leave to cry for long. Sometimes if I couldn't work out what the problem was putting them face down across your knees works and rythmically patting their back/bum.

Are you able to take them out for a walk in the pram? The motion and fresh air may settle them?

I hope you have some support; it’s really hard

@Hullllla

4 weeks. I don’t know what to do.

4 weeks is really tough. It does get easier honestly!

I’m assuming you’ve done all the obvious things feed/change/ wind wind and wind some more.

A few other suggestions - sorry if these are things you’ve tried -
-White noise - needs to be LOUD, also I’ve no idea of the difference but I found ‘pink noise’ on YouTube and that seemed to work best for mine
-Hold baby in the ‘tiger in the tree’ position, (you can google it) Mine hated it but several friends swear it was like magic

• Motion - try in car, pram or sling
• nappy free time, always cheered mine up
• this video - I swear it’s witchcraft and ALWAYS helped when mine would not be consoled m.youtube.com/watch?v=wLFjYVN3dIo

And beyond that if it’s a constant thing maybe look at feeding issues, possible CMPA for example, or silent reflux?

No chance - hates the pram. It was a waste of money really

At 4 weeks I would probably strap baby to me in a carrier and crack on. If you need to eat, go to the loo, calm down and gather yourself, answer the door etc then yes of course leave baby in a safe space and let them cry. I have 3 children so of course there were times I had to attend to someone else’s needs and baby just had to wait! If it is constant please phone gp for advice.