Neighbours pissed off - AIBU?

[Pigtailsandall]

Our local authority encourages asymptomatic testing, so before Christmas we ordered home testing kits, expecting to see DH's elderly parents. We got moved to tier 4 so there was no point in doing the test. We did nothing over Christmas, DH did a quick dash to the shops twice, I took our toddler to the playground on the 23rd and we got a few takeaway coffees from the local cafe. Other than that, we went for a daily walk either in the woods or small local park.
On the 27th DH complained headache but he had been up with DC at night who had been teething. Otherwise we were all healthy (and the headache passed during the day).
On New Year's Eve we decided to send off our Covid tests anyway as we had them lying around, and DC was due back in nursery on the 4th and I was due at work on the 3rd. After dropping them off, we went for a walk in the park and met a couple few doors down who have a DC same age. We kept a distance, chatted for about 10 minutes with the kids running around. Our tests came back in the 2nd and to our horror, DH tested positive. I and DC were both negative. We told the neighbours we met (also called the cafe we had visited) and the neighbours got furious with us. Absolutely fuming, they said we were irresponsible for being out after doing a Covid test and DH had been symptomatic (he hadn't). I get that they are stressed about getting Covid but if they are that concerned maybe they shouldn't go out at all as our contact was short and distanced, and I told them that because I was getting a bit fed up - their messages were coming through more and more irritated and frantic (DH was much more diplomatic)
AIBU for being annoyed at the neighbours? I tried to stay diplomatic but I felt they totally overreacted.

You say your DH was not symptomatic but you then mention headaches. So you can imagine your neighbours would think well why would you send tests off, mention headaches and then go out and about.

@2020BogOff

You say your DH was not symptomatic but you then mention headaches. So you can imagine your neighbours would think well why would you send tests off, mention headaches and then go out and about.

Not headaches (plural) a headache (singular), after a poorly-slept night. We've followed the guidelines and not every single twitch of ill-feeling is an immediate reason for self-isolation. No fever, cough or loss of taste/smell

Aren't the guidelines to isolate if you've done a test and are waiting for the results? I can see why they'd be annoyed.

Yabu - you had enough doubt to do the test. You absolutely should have followed isolation policy.

I know not every symptom means covid. Trust me I am not at all anxious about covid and have never been. My DH tested positive recently as well.

But I can still see why your neighbours, who might have been overly anxious given all the media coverage, are bothered about you being out and about having sent tests off. So I don't agree with them but I can understand their behaviour.

Your DH didn't have any of the main symptoms that require isolation, so you're right, you don't need to isolate.
I log how I'm feeling each day on the Zoe app, and if I have a headache, or don't feel right, they ask me to test. I don't have to isolate though. I think YANBU, especially as some schools were asking for tests to be done before allowing kids back.

To everyone replying, they were doing regular asymptomatic tests.
The whole point is that you dont have to isolate.

@BigTroubleLittleEngland

Aren't the guidelines to isolate if you've done a test and are waiting for the results? I can see why they'd be annoyed.

The guideline states you don't need to self-isolate if you are doing an asymptomatic test (healthcare workers routinely do these so they would be self-isolating non-stop)

A work colleague had a slight headache and upset stomache, then 2 days later developed a cough so took a test and it was positive. She worked for the 2 days prior to the cough as she didnt have the typical covid symptoms we are told to look out for. I can see why your neighbours are peeved off but a headache isnt a symptom that would generate you a test (if you didnt already have one i mean).
I think it shows that covid is presenting in many different forms.

YANBU. You didn’t have one of the “official” symptoms, the test was for asymptomatic screening.

I get tested quite often via the ZOE app as a) I’m a key worker and b) I have headaches 3 weeks out of 4. If I had to isolate every time I tested myself, I’d have to stop doing the tests. (FWIW, we’ve self isolated as a household many times due to coughs and colds, and always waited for a -ve test result before going out).

Those saying YABU - what do you think happens when NHS staff get their screening/asymptomatic testing?

I'd be pretty annoyed too. You said you'd sent them off because your kid was going back to nursery, so you obviously had a reason for testing.

You should have waited for your results.

You don't have to isolate if you take asymptomatic tests that's madness! And one headache is not a normal reason for a test, I can't see you've done anything wrong here as long as you were social distancing.

The guidelines state that you have to isolate until you have received your results, you were highly irresponsible and selfish for going out for a walk after taking a test. They have every right to be angry with you.

If you have no symptoms and do a routine test (i.e. for work) you do not have to isolate while waiting for the result; 'There is no legal duty to self-isolate while waiting for a test result or if you live with someone with symptoms who has not received a positive test result.' www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-testing-guidance-for-employers/coronavirus-covid-19-testing-guidance-for-employers-and-third-party-healthcare-providers

Absolutely fuming, they said we were irresponsible for being out after doing a Covid test and DH had been symptomatic (he hadn't).

You see they 'think' you sent the tests off due to symptoms and are getting upset. Why do they think your DH had symptoms?. If you mentioned headache, then tests then positive you can see why they put that all together.

I think they're scared& kicking themselves for their part in it.

The most sensible thing the Govt/Scientists have said recently is 'treat everyone like they have Covid' - then you'll behave accordingly

Hope DH is ok. .

I think some posters don't understand the difference between routine asymptomatic testing and testing because of symptoms

Jesus woman, you don't go out when you're waiting for a test result! Very, very irresponsible of you, your poor neighbours!!!

@IndecentFeminist

I think some posters don't understand the difference between routine asymptomatic testing and testing because of symptoms

But clearly the neighbours don't either and say that the OPs DH was symptomatic so the key is why do they think that. If the OP mentioned any symptoms in the talk of tests and positive they are going to think he was.

If the OP had said as part of testing people who have no symptoms we sent a routine test back and it was positive then that would be a different matter.

So I think the key is how did the OP discuss the test with the neighbours.

You didn't "do nothing". You went to the shops ( twice), the park, the coffee shop and we're concerned enough to think you needed testing. It would have been better to stay in until your tests were returned. You can't really blame your neighbours for feeling particularly jumpy at this time.

If you were concerned enough to do the test you should have been self isolating intil you got the results, it's the responsible thing to do, regardless of guidelines

So have your neighbours now tested positive themselves? If not the distanced contact they had with you and your family was clearly safe and 'fuming' is an overreaction. If I were them I'd put it down to a close call and a reminder to follow guidelines carefully.

Yanbu - it was a routine test to use them, not because you had suspicions. I'd be isolating til kingdom come if i did every time i had a headache!

You are both unreasonable.

If you don't want to spread it (knowing if you have it or not) don't go out. If they don't want to catch (knowing who has it or doesn't) , don't go out.

Don't judge them for being annoyed, you would be if you were in their position. They are just trying to protect themselves the best they can.

Your neighbours are idiots. Any interaction that you have with others is a risk of Covid exposure - and most of us accept some risk, as they did. They chose to meet you. They chose the level of social distance and masking they wanted.

You had no reason to think either of you were infected.

I have regular asymptomatic tests as part of my job. I do not isolate while awaiting results. No one does because that would be nuts.

Hope your dh is well.