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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours pissed off - AIBU?

269 replies

Pigtailsandall · 09/01/2021 08:20

Our local authority encourages asymptomatic testing, so before Christmas we ordered home testing kits, expecting to see DH's elderly parents. We got moved to tier 4 so there was no point in doing the test. We did nothing over Christmas, DH did a quick dash to the shops twice, I took our toddler to the playground on the 23rd and we got a few takeaway coffees from the local cafe. Other than that, we went for a daily walk either in the woods or small local park.
On the 27th DH complained headache but he had been up with DC at night who had been teething. Otherwise we were all healthy (and the headache passed during the day).
On New Year's Eve we decided to send off our Covid tests anyway as we had them lying around, and DC was due back in nursery on the 4th and I was due at work on the 3rd. After dropping them off, we went for a walk in the park and met a couple few doors down who have a DC same age. We kept a distance, chatted for about 10 minutes with the kids running around. Our tests came back in the 2nd and to our horror, DH tested positive. I and DC were both negative. We told the neighbours we met (also called the cafe we had visited) and the neighbours got furious with us. Absolutely fuming, they said we were irresponsible for being out after doing a Covid test and DH had been symptomatic (he hadn't). I get that they are stressed about getting Covid but if they are that concerned maybe they shouldn't go out at all as our contact was short and distanced, and I told them that because I was getting a bit fed up - their messages were coming through more and more irritated and frantic (DH was much more diplomatic)
AIBU for being annoyed at the neighbours? I tried to stay diplomatic but I felt they totally overreacted.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
saraclara · 09/01/2021 09:44

@ScrumptiousBears

I don't know why you posted Op because you won't accept you are in the wrong so why ask.
She isn't in the wrong, FFS. Asymptomatic tests (as encouraged by her local council) do not require isolation while waiting for results.
CheetasOnFajitas · 09/01/2021 09:45

Your neighbours must be in the same local authority as you surely? In which case why are they not aware of the asymptomatic testing being encouraged, and the fact that you don’t have to isolate pending the result?

It also strikes me that texts are a convenient way for people to spew out messages and accusations that they would not make face-to-face. It’s just them sharing their stream of consciousness with you as they try to process the news. Not excusing them, just observing why it might have happened.

saraclara · 09/01/2021 09:47

Your mistake with the neighbours (and on here) was mentioning the headache, OP.

icelollycraving · 09/01/2021 09:47

I think yabu. Your dh had a symptom which although fleeting meant you ordered tests. I’d have been really upset too if I received that text from you. You were out and about.
I don’t see this as the same as asymptomatic testing as routine for your job.

Original poster
Pigtailsandall · 09/01/2021 09:49

@Shinyletsbebadguys

I think you were a bit silly to share your husbands headache with them really. It's not a key symptom and it wouldn't be cause for a test.

People are really uninformed about some tests my DC local authority asked all school children to test just after the end of term and just before the beginning (obviously this was prior to lockdown and prior to even the tier 4 schools shutting). So duly I ordered the kits tested and returned ( both negative both times) there were absolutely no symptoms in the house at all. DP has the lateral flow several times a week when working ( he delivers a specific kind of required training in hospitals ). All negative.

When I went to the priority posting box with the two boxes in my hand...given they are really obvious what they are. I posted them then turned towards a shop and promptly got told by a woman who must have been eagle eyed that I should go home if we had covid.

People are scared and react badly
Half this thread has just read the words test and panicked and been too afraid to read properly

My DH said, flippantly, on a group WhatsApp that he was totally fine, even did an online yoga class that day, apart from having a slight headache one day. He's in the habit of oversharing. Neighbours got freaked out by that. Tbh, I have a headache most evenings because I'm on zoom calls 5-6 hours a day. I did another asymptomatic test a few days ago and it was negative. Probably wasting more resources but the track and trace people recommended it when they called as the LA is continuing with asymptomatic testing
OP posts:
saraclara · 09/01/2021 09:50

@icelollycraving

I think yabu. Your dh had a symptom which although fleeting meant you ordered tests. I’d have been really upset too if I received that text from you. You were out and about. I don’t see this as the same as asymptomatic testing as routine for your job.
That's not why they ordered tests. Nor is it why they did the tests. Read the OP again.
supersonicginandtonic · 09/01/2021 09:50

I'm more concerned about the amount of people on this thread who either can't read or can't understand the asymptomatic testing rules. These people will be homeschooling their children 😱

CheetasOnFajitas · 09/01/2021 09:51

Your dh had a symptom which although fleeting meant you ordered tests.

No. Read the OP again @icelollycraving. They had the tests because the LA encourages asymptomatic testing. They used them because the kids were about to go back to school. The headache was a red herring.

Original poster
Pigtailsandall · 09/01/2021 09:51

@icelollycraving

I think yabu. Your dh had a symptom which although fleeting meant you ordered tests. I’d have been really upset too if I received that text from you. You were out and about. I don’t see this as the same as asymptomatic testing as routine for your job.
Tests were ordered on 18th Dec before we went to a tier 4 restrictions as a part of routine asymptomatic testing. We wanted extra assurance that it would be safe to see DH's parents. They didn't get used so we literally thought, What the hell and sent them off on the 31st
OP posts:
CheetasOnFajitas · 09/01/2021 09:53

@supersonicginandtonic

I'm more concerned about the amount of people on this thread who either can't read or can't understand the asymptomatic testing rules. These people will be homeschooling their children 😱
To be fair, maybe some people don’t know that a- something means “without” so they don’t realise that “asymptomatic” means “not having any symptoms”?
indecisivewoman81 · 09/01/2021 09:53

YABU

You know the rules. If you take a test you isolate until results come back.

2020BogOff · 09/01/2021 09:55

My DH said, flippantly, on a group WhatsApp that he was totally fine, even did an online yoga class that day, apart from having a slight headache one day. He's in the habit of oversharing.

That's your mistake then. He mentioned a symptom.

CocoLoco87 · 09/01/2021 09:56

Sorry you're getting an unfair bashing OP. Lots of people havent read your post clearly!

Just explain to the neighbours again that the test was a voluntary one for asymptomatic people. That's why you didn't self isolate, because you didn't have to.

YANBU

icelollycraving · 09/01/2021 09:56

Then I think your mistake came from mentioning the headache. I think they have just gone into panic mode. It is a stressful time for everyone.

LAMPS1 · 09/01/2021 09:56

Op, did you have to lie in order to get your tests ?

I can understand asymptomatic testing without isolating for key workers.
Are you key workers ?
If you are, then, definitely YANBU.

If you aren’t key workers and if you had no symptoms, then your argument for taking up test resources and for not isolating until results came is a bit flimsy in my opinion.

Fruitsaladjelly · 09/01/2021 09:56

They are over reacting but you shouldn’t have taken a test without symptoms. Local authorities are completely in the wrong for even suggesting this.

stovetopespresso · 09/01/2021 09:57

@icelollycraving

I think yabu. Your dh had a symptom which although fleeting meant you ordered tests. I’d have been really upset too if I received that text from you. You were out and about. I don’t see this as the same as asymptomatic testing as routine for your job.
not the case, read op again. doing/sending tests not linked to fleeting symptom were they op?
Norwester · 09/01/2021 09:58

What @supersonicginandtonic said.

EleventhNight · 09/01/2021 09:58

It’s not just tour neighbours it’s everyone then that they’ve interacted with following- not to mention people in cafes and shops etc you’ve come across

YABVU OP and you’re a disgrace as is your DH. Like your neighbours I’d be absolutely furious.

robinshire · 09/01/2021 09:58

You are completely in the wrong for ordering tests and not using them right away, going out after eventually taking the tests, socialising while waiting test results...I can go on. You were concerned enough to take the test, follow the rules and isolate until the results come back! It's not fucking hard! Your neighbours have every right to be pissed off with you, as would I!

Nousernamesleftatall · 09/01/2021 10:00

Yanbu op. You did nothing wrong and your neighbours are bonkers.

stovetopespresso · 09/01/2021 10:01

the replies you're getting on here op are useful just to show how able people are to absorb and understand facts clearly without falling in to panic. not very imo.
...

MardyBicardi · 09/01/2021 10:01

I do tests every week because of work, my children have been encouraged to be tested regularly for school.
Lots of high risk areas are as you say encouraging people with no symptoms to get tested anyway. No one has to isolate if you’re having an a a symptomatic test.
1 headache after being up all night with a toddler is not a COVID symptom. A few months ago if you had posted asking if should have a test in those circumstances you’d have been slated.
You’ve done nothing wrong.
Your neighbours are understandably (like the rest of us) anxious. It’s not your fault though and they shouldn’t have taken it out on you.

WhatKatyDidNxt · 09/01/2021 10:01

They are being unreasonable @Pigtailsandall I’m a little concerned about how many on people on here either haven’t read your post properly or don’t understand the testing regime. Asymptomatic testing is a thing in a lot of places now?! If l isolated every time l had a headache

I know people are especially worried but everyone needs to get a grip, especially with the new variant. Your neighbours may well have had it and be symptomatic. No one knows.

catsrus · 09/01/2021 10:02

[quote HaveITheRightToHoldYou]@happylittlevegemites I’m curious, how often does the Zoe app ask you to test?
I’m a HCP and frequently report headaches and, despite once clicking a couple of symptoms when I felt unwell, (I did test and SI until results as they were typical C19 symptoms) the app has never asked me to test. I’m wondering if it doesn’t ask me to test because I record that I wear PPE or because it doesn’t want half my colleagues to have to SI.[/quote]
You get an email saying this "Thank you so much for using the COVID Symptom Study app and agreeing to participate in the clinical study run by King's College London. We would now like to ask you to help with this vital research by getting tested for COVID-19.

You’ve recently reported feeling unwell with a particular combination of symptoms. Whilst these symptoms do not necessarily indicate that you have COVID-19, we would like to offer you a test to discover if you have the virus right now. Depending on your symptoms, you should follow the latest government guidance for households with possible coronavirus infection.You may also invite any other app users who live in the same household with you to also be tested.

As you know, we have developed a software test (an algorithm) to predict COVID-19. To validate this, King's College London are now running the clinical study that you joined, and the Department of Health and Social Care has agreed to give you access to a COVID-19 test. This testing process is run by the Department of Health, and no data will come to us until you choose to share it.

The Department of Health is therefore inviting you to have a PCR swab test to confirm whether you are currently positive or negative for the virus. This will let you know your status and help us develop an even better understanding of which symptoms are most related to COVID-19 infection"

I've been asked to do it 4 times, only managed to book a test for 3 of them, each time it's been sneezing / blocked nose I've reported. (July, Dec and Jan) just a normal cold, but they need to know how often those symptoms are also COVID.

As you can see - it says to follow the current govt guidelines for which symptoms mean you should isolate, so I didn't have to. You only had to isolate if you had one of the three main symptoms. I think that advice might change, but the OP was following govt advice.

Neighbours pissed off - AIBU?