Neighbours pissed off - AIBU?

[Pigtailsandall]

Our local authority encourages asymptomatic testing, so before Christmas we ordered home testing kits, expecting to see DH's elderly parents. We got moved to tier 4 so there was no point in doing the test. We did nothing over Christmas, DH did a quick dash to the shops twice, I took our toddler to the playground on the 23rd and we got a few takeaway coffees from the local cafe. Other than that, we went for a daily walk either in the woods or small local park.
On the 27th DH complained headache but he had been up with DC at night who had been teething. Otherwise we were all healthy (and the headache passed during the day).
On New Year's Eve we decided to send off our Covid tests anyway as we had them lying around, and DC was due back in nursery on the 4th and I was due at work on the 3rd. After dropping them off, we went for a walk in the park and met a couple few doors down who have a DC same age. We kept a distance, chatted for about 10 minutes with the kids running around. Our tests came back in the 2nd and to our horror, DH tested positive. I and DC were both negative. We told the neighbours we met (also called the cafe we had visited) and the neighbours got furious with us. Absolutely fuming, they said we were irresponsible for being out after doing a Covid test and DH had been symptomatic (he hadn't). I get that they are stressed about getting Covid but if they are that concerned maybe they shouldn't go out at all as our contact was short and distanced, and I told them that because I was getting a bit fed up - their messages were coming through more and more irritated and frantic (DH was much more diplomatic)
AIBU for being annoyed at the neighbours? I tried to stay diplomatic but I felt they totally overreacted.

On this thread I agree that people are either deliberately misunderstanding, not reading the OP properly or just thick as shit:

My DS had a test this morning.
Sent by imperial college as part of their research study.
Perhaps he and us should isolate until he gets the result.
Ah wait, the research group won’t send him the result unless it is positive.
So maybe he should isolate for the 10 days anyway.
After all, he does have a non-covid symptom.
We should all isolate for any symptom whatsoever.
I’ll tell him that we must all stay indoors for 10 days because of his ingrown toenail.

I agree with a previous poster. Jesus wept.

YOU DO NOT NEED TO ISOLATE FOR ASYMPTOMATIC COMMUNITY TESTS

I am shocked at the number of people on this thread saying they should have been isolating. That's not the way community testing works.

are people really this stupid in real life?

As the many hysterical posts on this thread show, absolutely yes. They can't even read an opening post explaining the circumstances correctly.

I live in an area with high rates. LA advice is to test weekly or twice weekly if you have contact with high risk people. It's an extra precautionary measure to identify asymptomatic people. My dd has a school place so I intend to take us weekly as a family as I think it's a responsible thing to do. If you do them at a hub you get results in 30 minutes - a positive has to be confirmed with a full test though so you would need to isolate whilst waiting for results of that.

It's completely different to testing if you have symptoms.

@YouJustDoYou

Jesus woman, you don't go out when you're waiting for a test result! Very, very irresponsible of you, your poor neighbours!!!

Excuse you? Have you not read the OP?? It was an ASYMPTOMATIC TEST! The NHS do these tests every few days to enable them to work! If they isolated before the result of every asymptomatic test then there'd never be any NHS staff working!

Please learn the difference between testing after symptoms and ASYMPTOMATIC testing!

@DHdweller

Felt the need to do a test then went out and mixed with others - absolute morons

Didn't read the OP properly or read and understand the rules around asymptomatic testing - absolute moron.

If you did this to me, and named me as a close contact to Test & Trace, the result would be

• that I'd be expected to shut down my business for 10 days
• I'd have no income for 10 days - I'm self employed so can't even get SSP. I'm not on benefits so wouldn't get the guaranteed £500 payment, and given some of the reasons I've heard for people being refused the discretionary version, it's a fair bet I wouldn't get that one either (and even if I did, it's only £400 after tax).
• I'd have to shell out for a dog walker (£140 for 10 days) as I'd legally not be allowed to walk DDog and there's no one else who can
• all my outgoings would continue as normal - personal overheads, business overheads, perishable stock binned etc., after a year when I lost almost all the work I'd been booked for, received fuck all help from government, and have no idea when I'll be allowed to work properly again

You would then leave me in a situation where the choice was between following the law or paying the rent.

Many of us just can't afford to self isolate.

@Winederlust another vote for absolute moron! Clue: it’s not the OP

My DH works in a small company where one of his colleagues tested positive. The boss decided to close for one day and they manage to get tested- everyone was negative.
One of the workers refused the test.
He would not leave his desk and worked while the rest went for tests.
I’m thinking reporting him as he could be the one positive as he shares a desk with the positive colleague.
Even today he still it’s at work.
How that’s possible?
He should be self isolating if no tested.
I’m so pissed off as I’m CEV so if the person it’s indeed positive, he can infect the whole company and my DH too.
People are inconsiderate bastards!

@2020BogOff

My DH said, flippantly, on a group WhatsApp that he was totally fine, even did an online yoga class that day, apart from having a slight headache one day. He's in the habit of oversharing.

That's your mistake then. He mentioned a symptom.

Headaches are not a symptom of Covid

I think you're both guilty of being human! You were very compliant and well intentioned, and so were your neighbours. But when Covid was confirmed, everything became larger than life. You're horrified - and so are they.

Covid really brings out the best and worst in people.

I can understand why you're irritated, and also why you're neighbours are upset. It's scary.

I hope you can all get through this. For the sake of peace, maybe just apologise profusely (I'm sure you have) and emphasise that you are as horrified as they are.

I really hope your husband - and all of you - are ok.

Forgive yourselves!!

@EleventhNight

It’s not just tour neighbours it’s everyone then that they’ve interacted with following- not to mention people in cafes and shops etc you’ve come across

YABVU OP and you’re a disgrace as is your DH. Like your neighbours I’d be absolutely furious.

How on EARTH is OP any kind of 'disgrace?!'

This was random community testing.

It's done to find those cases where people are asymptomatic (like her dh) who may be out and about infecting people unwittingly.

It's precisely why we are struggling with this virus. The only way to stop any of this is for people to be banned from leaving their house at all. And I don't think that's a solution we want to be using.

Random testing is to stop cases in their tracks where you don't realise someone has it.

@dontdisturbmenow

*I've done 5 tests via the Covid Zoe app - all die to me reporting other things like a headache or sore throat and they've asked me to test" Really? I took a home test when I started coughing. Negative. A week later, it got worse and had a persistent headache so thought it better to test again. Tried to order another one and told not possible as had already done one.

I would have needed to go to a testing centre.

The issue here is that OP's husband was symptomatic. It might not be official but we know that many infected people with a headache. It might not be in the list to trigger but it is still a symptom, so he shouldn't have gone out.

Yes really.

You input on the book a test that you've been asked to test for a research project.

It was an asymptomatic test, therefore you were totally within your rights to go out to the park and shops. Sounds sensible to do it before going back to nursery, work etc. When we get fortnightly tests with work (nhs) we don’t have to isolate, otherwise we would miss shifts. If we were having a test due to symptoms we would obviously have to isolate, or if any results came back positive. Symptomatic testing and asymptomatic testing are different.

The issue is stopping in the park to chat to neighbours, but that is on your neighbours just as much as you. Either in tier 4 or lockdown this isn’t advised.

@seven201

YOU DO NOT NEED TO ISOLATE FOR ASYMPTOMATIC COMMUNITY TESTS

I am shocked at the number of people on this thread saying they should have been isolating. That's not the way community testing works.

THIS!! Oh course yanbu. I test twice a week for my job, and of course don’t isolate in between. I think people are just more nervous due to rising numbers.

@YouJustDoYou

Jesus woman, you don't go out when you're waiting for a test result! Very, very irresponsible of you, your poor neighbours!!!

Jesus woman - you are wrong! They are not irresponsible. It was an asymptomatic test, they can go out whilst awaiting results!

@Miramour

I think you're both guilty of being human! You were very compliant and well intentioned, and so were your neighbours. But when Covid was confirmed, everything became larger than life. You're horrified - and so are they.

Covid really brings out the best and worst in people.

I can understand why you're irritated, and also why you're neighbours are upset. It's scary.

I hope you can all get through this. For the sake of peace, maybe just apologise profusely (I'm sure you have) and emphasise that you are as horrified as they are.

I really hope your husband - and all of you - are ok.

Forgive yourselves!!

Thank you, we are all fine! Covid absolutely dies bring out the worst in people, and I appreciate people's anxieties.

To those saying don't get tested then, you could conversely argue that not getting tested if your LA encourages it and cases are high in community, is irresponsible. We caught DH's Covid which is a good thing - otherwise my daughter would have gone to nursery and I would have gone to work.

YANBU, OP. Unfortunately many people have lost all sense when it comes to covid (your neighbours and clearly many posters here included). You mention a headache and a test and quite a few people can't get past it. Don't bother trying to reason with such people. Utterly pointless.

Your neighbours should have kept away under the assumption you had covid, and if they did, they have little to worry about.

I woke with a headache. Wont be testing.

There you go, hysterical posters!

It's a headache. Not everything is covid. Headaches were there before, they'll be there after.

(It's more likely that I decided to learn a tap routine at midnight, then both children had me up in the night. And I ate too much last night, but half these posters still think I should test)

*If you did this to me, and named me as a close contact to Test & Trace, the result would be

• that I'd be expected to shut down my business for 10 days*

It's very unlikely that, having been in contact with someone for 10 minutes, socially distanced and outside, test and trace would require you to self-isolate or close your business.

Whilst I can understand people are worried, I find the ill-informed hysteria on this thread (and elsewhere) mind boggling.

I am also on the Zoe Covid-19 app and on 1st January started sneezing. By Sunday I had a runny nose so I thought I must have a cold but I reported the symptoms and on the Monday they sent me an email suggesting I get tested. There was no compulsion to have a test because I didn’t have one of the three symptoms. I decided to be a responsible citizen and had the test on Tuesday. The result came on Wednesday that I was positive so I am now SI.

The app said I didn’t need to isolate until I tested positive and didn’t say I must get tested so this week I could have been out spreading the virus but have done exactly what I should do. In a news report this morning it was announced that a third of cases people have no symptoms, I only have a very slight cold.

It seems if some people do not understand that fact. All anyone can do is follow all the rules to stop the spread and accept that if they get the virus they probably won’t know where they caught it.

Well, this thread has helped me add a lot of user names to the 'Thicko' column in my Mumsnet spreadsheet.
YANBU op.

@Boatingforthestars

To everyone replying, they were doing regular asymptomatic tests. The whole point is that you dont have to isolate.

Yep this. The guidelines around testing and isolation aren't about asymptomatic testing as far as I understand.