Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours pissed off - AIBU?

269 replies

Pigtailsandall · 09/01/2021 08:20

Our local authority encourages asymptomatic testing, so before Christmas we ordered home testing kits, expecting to see DH's elderly parents. We got moved to tier 4 so there was no point in doing the test. We did nothing over Christmas, DH did a quick dash to the shops twice, I took our toddler to the playground on the 23rd and we got a few takeaway coffees from the local cafe. Other than that, we went for a daily walk either in the woods or small local park.
On the 27th DH complained headache but he had been up with DC at night who had been teething. Otherwise we were all healthy (and the headache passed during the day).
On New Year's Eve we decided to send off our Covid tests anyway as we had them lying around, and DC was due back in nursery on the 4th and I was due at work on the 3rd. After dropping them off, we went for a walk in the park and met a couple few doors down who have a DC same age. We kept a distance, chatted for about 10 minutes with the kids running around. Our tests came back in the 2nd and to our horror, DH tested positive. I and DC were both negative. We told the neighbours we met (also called the cafe we had visited) and the neighbours got furious with us. Absolutely fuming, they said we were irresponsible for being out after doing a Covid test and DH had been symptomatic (he hadn't). I get that they are stressed about getting Covid but if they are that concerned maybe they shouldn't go out at all as our contact was short and distanced, and I told them that because I was getting a bit fed up - their messages were coming through more and more irritated and frantic (DH was much more diplomatic)
AIBU for being annoyed at the neighbours? I tried to stay diplomatic but I felt they totally overreacted.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
queenMab99 · 09/01/2021 10:03

The message I get from most of these replies, is not to do an asymptomatic test!

Beautiful3 · 09/01/2021 10:04

You did nothing wrong. Perhaps you ought to have explained a little better, e.g." none of us had symptoms, we did the test as we were hoping to see my mother. We did not need to isolate. Truthfully none of us thought that we had it." I agree that your neighbours were being over the top!

CheetasOnFajitas · 09/01/2021 10:05

Op, did you have to lie in order to get your tests ?

The FIRST LINE OF THE OP IS Our local authority encourages asymptomatic testing

Jesus wept.

coldwaterfeed · 09/01/2021 10:05

@indecisivewoman81

YABU

You know the rules. If you take a test you isolate until results come back.

Not for asymptomatic tests. You clearly don’t know the rules indecisive
LadyMinerva · 09/01/2021 10:06

You do realise that your 'mutant UK strain' has now reached other countries, yeah? Stay the fuck at home. It's not hard. We did it for months and months. We don't want to do it again. Stop making excuses and just stay home.

MardyBicardi · 09/01/2021 10:06

@WhatKatyDidNxt

They are being unreasonable *@Pigtailsandall* I’m a little concerned about how many on people on here either haven’t read your post properly or don’t understand the testing regime. Asymptomatic testing is a thing in a lot of places now?! If l isolated every time l had a headache

I know people are especially worried but everyone needs to get a grip, especially with the new variant. Your neighbours may well have had it and be symptomatic. No one knows.

The comments on here are rather concerning. I can understand losing a grip on rationality in rl in circumstances that impact on you, in this case I would be able to empathise with the neighbours, some of the people on here though...Hmm
C0NNIE · 09/01/2021 10:06

@dontdisturbmenow

I didn't think the rules around asymptomatic testing via home test were locally determined.

Either you test and stay in until you get the results or you have no reasons at all to test. Otherwise, should the entire population test every week? And what good would that do if they still go out as normal before the result anyway?

I understand why your neighbours were angry.

This
coldwaterfeed · 09/01/2021 10:08

@robinshire

You are completely in the wrong for ordering tests and not using them right away, going out after eventually taking the tests, socialising while waiting test results...I can go on. You were concerned enough to take the test, follow the rules and isolate until the results come back! It's not fucking hard! Your neighbours have every right to be pissed off with you, as would I!
They did an asymtomatic rest. It’s not fucking hard to understand!
MardyBicardi · 09/01/2021 10:09

I think people are deliberately misunderstanding so they can stick the boot in.
It’s really not a hard concept.
I know we are all worried about a multitude of things, but this doesn’t help anyone.

coldwaterfeed · 09/01/2021 10:09

@LadyMinerva

You do realise that your 'mutant UK strain' has now reached other countries, yeah? Stay the fuck at home. It's not hard. We did it for months and months. We don't want to do it again. Stop making excuses and just stay home.
If you don’t understand what asymptomatic means, google it, don’t spout crap.
Norwayreally · 09/01/2021 10:14

One of DH’s colleagues went to work after having his test and then it turned out to be positive. He was sacked, quite rightly imo because he’d put the whole office at risk.

YABU, you should isolate until the results come back.

coldwaterfeed · 09/01/2021 10:16

@Norwayreallyi get tested every week even though I don’t have symptoms like OP’s DH, do you think I should be sacked for going into work too?

CheetasOnFajitas · 09/01/2021 10:16

@Norwayreally

One of DH’s colleagues went to work after having his test and then it turned out to be positive. He was sacked, quite rightly imo because he’d put the whole office at risk.

YABU, you should isolate until the results come back.

He was sacked for going to work with Covid symptoms. That is entirely different from continuing with your life when you have had no symptoms but have taken a test because your LA wants you to.
AvoidingRealHumans · 09/01/2021 10:17

I am in shock at some of the replies on here! All the information is in the first post, asymptomatic tests via council scheme no symptoms.....

I was in the exact same position as your neighbours last week, my son went for a walk with a friend who then had her routine test (nhs staff) come back that evening as positive. Common sense told me that she wasn't to know and it was a risk I took by letting my son go.
Don't take it personally op, people are panicking and it is clouding their common sense and judgement.

MsTSwift · 09/01/2021 10:17

Your mistake was giving these neurotics too much personal information. Why did they even know you did tests /were waiting on results /dh had mild headache? That is confidential information and none of their business.

People overshare way too much these days. They didn’t need to know any of that bar he got the positive test. I would take this as a learning experience to keep my mouth shut about my family’s medical information in future

garlictwist · 09/01/2021 10:18

What's the Zoe app?

WhatKatyDidNxt · 09/01/2021 10:18

@MardyBicardi interesting theory but quite possibly! A lot of people seem very irritable right now. The alternative is 10 months into a pandemic no one knows the symptoms or protocols.

I have a colleague who tested positive with symptoms and self isolated. Due back to work Thursday, has no symptoms and has done all the self-isolation required. Other team members are already making complaining noises about her coming back Hmm. It’s bullying so the disciplinary route could be used

WeAreShiningStars · 09/01/2021 10:19

[quote Emeeno1]If you have no symptoms and do a routine test (i.e. for work) you do not have to isolate while waiting for the result; 'There is no legal duty to self-isolate while waiting for a test result or if you live with someone with symptoms who has not received a positive test result.' www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-testing-guidance-for-employers/coronavirus-covid-19-testing-guidance-for-employers-and-third-party-healthcare-providers[/quote]
This.

You were testing because you had the tests because you'd planned to host for Christmas. Asymptomatic.

YWNBU. Your neighbours abu.

Norwester · 09/01/2021 10:21

@robinshire You are completely in the wrong for ordering tests and not using them right away, going out after eventually taking the tests, socialising while waiting test results..

None of that is right. Tests were ordered for a reason that was then rendered null and void. No need to isolate for an asymptomatic test.

OP did nothing wrong.

oneglassandpuzzled · 09/01/2021 10:22

@Coffeeandcocopops

You took the test. The rules then say you isolate until you get the results. I too would be fuming with you for being a spreader.
Please read the many posts on this thread explaining the difference between asymptomatic testing and symptomatic testing rules.
WakeEatSleepRepeat · 09/01/2021 10:22

*But clearly the neighbours don't either and say that the OPs DH was symptomatic so the key is why do they think that. If the OP mentioned any symptoms in the talk of tests and positive they are going to think he was.

If the OP had said as part of testing people who have no symptoms we sent a routine test back and it was positive then that would be a different matter.

So I think the key is how did the OP discuss the test with the neighbours*

@2020BogOff
You are spot on

supersonicginandtonic · 09/01/2021 10:22

I'm absolutely flabbergasted how many stupid people there are around! The asymptomTic tests have been around and in the news for months.
are people really this stupid in real life?

Weedsnseeds1 · 09/01/2021 10:25

The reason your neighbours are having a hissy fit is exactly the same reason for 50% of the replies on here.
Poor reading skills and lack of basic English Language comprehension.

WhatKatyDidNxt · 09/01/2021 10:26

@supersonicginandtonic lm afraid they are that stupid in real life Confused

Thorilicious · 09/01/2021 10:26

I don't think I've ever been more frustrated with a thread before.
All those saying OP is unreasonable for not isolating are wrong. Please read up on asymptotic testing. You don't need to isolate in those circumstances!