Neighbours pissed off - AIBU?

[Pigtailsandall]

Our local authority encourages asymptomatic testing, so before Christmas we ordered home testing kits, expecting to see DH's elderly parents. We got moved to tier 4 so there was no point in doing the test. We did nothing over Christmas, DH did a quick dash to the shops twice, I took our toddler to the playground on the 23rd and we got a few takeaway coffees from the local cafe. Other than that, we went for a daily walk either in the woods or small local park.
On the 27th DH complained headache but he had been up with DC at night who had been teething. Otherwise we were all healthy (and the headache passed during the day).
On New Year's Eve we decided to send off our Covid tests anyway as we had them lying around, and DC was due back in nursery on the 4th and I was due at work on the 3rd. After dropping them off, we went for a walk in the park and met a couple few doors down who have a DC same age. We kept a distance, chatted for about 10 minutes with the kids running around. Our tests came back in the 2nd and to our horror, DH tested positive. I and DC were both negative. We told the neighbours we met (also called the cafe we had visited) and the neighbours got furious with us. Absolutely fuming, they said we were irresponsible for being out after doing a Covid test and DH had been symptomatic (he hadn't). I get that they are stressed about getting Covid but if they are that concerned maybe they shouldn't go out at all as our contact was short and distanced, and I told them that because I was getting a bit fed up - their messages were coming through more and more irritated and frantic (DH was much more diplomatic)
AIBU for being annoyed at the neighbours? I tried to stay diplomatic but I felt they totally overreacted.

One of my staff told me they got a test and even thou they then felt better and didn’t think they had anything, I told them not to go to work until test result were back (job that means they go in to work 1 or 2 a week).

Result came back a day or 2 later - negative. They went in the next day.

It’s easy OP you stay at home until results are in. You were in the wrong.

I don’t think people understand the “rules” around asymptomatic testing.

@happylittlevegemites I’m curious, how often does the Zoe app ask you to test?
I’m a HCP and frequently report headaches and, despite once clicking a couple of symptoms when I felt unwell, (I did test and SI until results as they were typical C19 symptoms) the app has never asked me to test. I’m wondering if it doesn’t ask me to test because I record that I wear PPE or because it doesn’t want half my colleagues to have to SI.

Yanbu. Your neighbours are clearly in hysterical panic mode and unable to think about this clearly. They are not alone judging by this thread!

Some of you really don't have a clue.

I work in the NHS and am tested weekly. There is absolutely NO requirement to isolate waiting for the result. This is exactly the same situation as the OP and her family, her dh did not have one of the covid symptoms, the headache is irrelevant.

Those who say anyone having a test should isolate pending the results, I presume you be happy for 1/7 of the NHS staff to be off with while they wait 24 hours for their test result, just in case???? For clarity, thousands of tests have been done in the Trust where I work, with a handful of assymptomatic positives? That would be totally unworkable. And if you think that should be the case, should we also isolate for 2 days before the test, to prevent the possibility of infecting someone in advance of the test - afterall you know you will be doing the test so by some of the comments here should isolate??? So cut the number of staff available to work almost in half.....

This is NOT the same as isolating if you have symptoms, which I've done when this was the case.

You didn’t even do the tests until DH had been feeling slightly unwell. You may excuse it now but you obviously thought it was worth doing the tests.

Yes are an asshole for taking up covid tests, which despite what you say about your LA you had to lie about having symptoms to get, and swanning around as normal putting other people at risk.

Those who say anyone having a test should isolate pending the results, I presume you be happy for 1/7 of the NHS staff to be off with while they wait 24 hours for their test result, just in case????

That's the rules for where i work for a nursery, for both parents, children, and staff, yes.

To add, having regular testing as part of your job is not the same as requesting an nhs home test. The advice is not to do this just as and when you feel like it, to get a test you must say you have symptoms.

YANBU - neither did you do anything wrong. They were asymptomatic tests, you don't need to isolate while waiting for the results.

I get tested 3 times per week at work (PCRs, not lateral flow) and if we all had to isolate after each test, there would be no time left to work. I'd have stayed inside for 90% of my time since August when we started doing them so often, if isolating after each tests was necessary.

The idea is that these are routine tests, their purpose is to pick up asymptomatic carriers. You mentioned the headache was 4 days prior so might not even be related to the positive result. I get lots of headaches that last a few hours/start in the afternoon and clear up once I go to sleep for the night.

I didn't think the rules around asymptomatic testing via home test were locally determined.

Either you test and stay in until you get the results or you have no reasons at all to test. Otherwise, should the entire population test every week? And what good would that do if they still go out as normal before the result anyway?

I understand why your neighbours were angry.

Yabu. We are all terrified of getting covid. He should not have been outside. Poor neighbours.

Also, many councils say you do have to self isolate whilst waiting - www.barnet.gov.uk/coronavirus-covid-19-latest-information-and-advice/nhs-test-and-trace-service/what-do-while-waiting

Then just send them the guidelines about asymptotic testing and stop responding to them.

Yes are an asshole for taking up covid tests, which despite what you say about your LA you had to lie about having symptoms to get, and swanning around as normal putting other people at risk.

Much more asshole-ish, @luxxlisbon, to make this sort of criticism without checking the facts. A number of LAs have indeed been encouraging asymptomatic testing: we were invited to have them, and it was specifically a condition of doing so that we didn't have symptoms.

I think the problem is that there is a lack of understanding that

(a) asymptomatic testing is encouraged in some areas we were all told to as a precursor to schools going back. it is a tick box

(b) you don’t need to isolate until the result then 10 days starts

@luxxlisbon

You didn’t even do the tests until DH had been feeling slightly unwell. You may excuse it now but you obviously thought it was worth doing the tests.

Yes are an asshole for taking up covid tests, which despite what you say about your LA you had to lie about having symptoms to get, and swanning around as normal putting other people at risk.

Haha, taking up Covid testing space?

Like I mentioned, our local authority actively encourages asymptomatic testing because the cases in our borough are so high.

Asymptomatic testing doesn't require you to isolate because the vast majority of those tests will come back negative.

There is a difference between a nursery having to close for 24h whilst waiting on test results, and like a PP said, 1/7 of your local hospital staff being sent home every day.

You close the nursery if there is someone with symptoms who's waiting on their result. Of course you do, because there is no social distancing in place, and that person was coughing/had a fever or whatever.

You don't close a hospital or stay at home just because people are being tested without having any symptoms.

I think the answer is probably somewhere in the middle. They're panicking, understandably, and overreacting, and I think you're possibly minimising the fact that your DH had slight symptoms.

I can understand why your neighbours are upset. They are almost certainly scared and being scared doesn't make for particularly rational text conversations.

If it was just a single headache your DH had no reason or requirement to isolate.

I'm prone to sore throats (I think they are stress related) and the Zoe app regularly asks me to get tested when I report a sore throat. I get tested but I'm not required to isolate.

DH is tested every Wednesday at his workplace and get his results on Friday or Saturday. He is not required to isolate. He would only be in work on Monday and Tuesday each week if he was.

That's the problem with this virus. You don't necessarily know you have it.

I hope your DH recovers quickly and no one else catches it. I'd give your neighbours time to calm down before any more conversations. Hopefully the virus has not been passed on to them and at a later date, when they are not scared and panicking, you can have a calmer conversation.

I understand why you weren't isolating but I would also be extremely anxious to find out I'd been with someone who has Coronavirus (even if distanced).

YANBU. You did the tests because they were just there, not because any of you were symptomatic.

We are having to test ourselves every week as part of a Covid survey and no way am I still go to work/shops/care for elderly mum.

And it’s clear that you said DH recovered from his headache and out it down to lack of sleep, a headache isn’t one of the symptoms that mandate a twat, so I can see why you didn’t isolate.

And you don’t have to take the abuse from the neighbours, tell them to stop texting you. They should be grateful you told them and didn’t keep it quiet.

[quote YouJustDoYou]Also, many councils say you do have to self isolate whilst waiting - www.barnet.gov.uk/coronavirus-covid-19-latest-information-and-advice/nhs-test-and-trace-service/what-do-while-waiting[/quote]
That relates to symptomatic testing, which is not what op was doing.

I absolutely have empathy for our neighbours. I understand why they flipped out - its just that after I sent a message saying "I'm really sorry to have caused you concern" the messages didn't stop and they got more frantic "we can't ask my parents to mind our child now, it's too risky, what should I do?" That I started getting a bit annoyed. I think if they are that concerned about coming across someone in the park with Covid they should probably not go out (and we were 2 metres apart). 30%-ish percent of adults under 40 show no symptoms so it's very possible someone else in that park was also positive

People are definitely not understanding the asymptomatic testing rules. I am tested weekly as part of my job. We don't even get notified of the result unless positive. We are expected to get tested on a drop in basis as part of our working day. We absolutely are not expected to isolate whilst waiting for the result!

I can see why your neighbours would be panicky but the contact you have described wouldn't even class them as a close contact I don't think. A headache after a poor night's sleep in normal.

Everyone is stressed for good reasons just now. Try to be understanding, but ultimately you didn't do anything wrong.

That should be ‘we are having to test ourselves every week as part of a Covid survey and I still go to work/shops/care for elderly mum.‘