To think Mumsnet isn't any better than Tattle life?

[DebbieDowner101]

The site claims to be "commentary and critique of people who chose to monetise their lives as a business and release it to the public domain"

From my time on the site I've found it to be just that. Honest, and well measured critique of someone who has chosen to market themselves and/or their families online.

The threads I've seen via Instagramers claiming to be bullied has just been people giving a perfectly reasonable negative opinion on them, or something they have done. Surely if you are putting yourself online to gain followers you accept the good and the bad, and that not everything negative is bullying, still just an opinion?

Mumsnet on the other hand claims to be a resource of support for parents, but I regularly see posters jumped etc usually on a perfectly reasonable post.

AIBU to think Mumsnet isn't any holier?

Made about* not made by

@DebbieDowner101

The site claims to be "commentary and critique of people who chose to monetise their lives as a business and release it to the public domain"

From my time on the site I've found it to be just that. Honest, and well measured critique of someone who has chosen to market themselves and/or their families online.

The threads I've seen via Instagramers claiming to be bullied has just been people giving a perfectly reasonable negative opinion on them, or something they have done. Surely if you are putting yourself online to gain followers you accept the good and the bad, and that not everything negative is bullying, still just an opinion?

Mumsnet on the other hand claims to be a resource of support for parents, but I regularly see posters jumped etc usually on a perfectly reasonable post.

AIBU to think Mumsnet isn't any holier?

You'd have to be deluded or not have actually researched the site fully, they bully, harrass and victimise people, whether they are content creators or posters. They claim it is site rules and all that crap failing to realise there are indeed international laws in place which can prosecute against them. They bully lgbt+, fat shame, mum shame, belief shame and bully in all categories

Goes off to have a look.

I agree with TopBants:

"Well, that's Mumsnet's tagline. But the site covers lots of topics- style and beauty, cat and dog ownership, property, legal stuff, celebrity and TV, politics.... It's a bit disingenuous to suggest it's all parenting advice."

I agree. To suggest it's only parenting, and only allowed if 'supportive' parenting aswell is nonsense.

Mn has grown and changed. It has great threads on all sorts of topics, including the Maya Forstater case, and some even more contentious, which is nothing to do with parenting, it's just 'a' discussion.

There are loads of deletions. Of posts and threads. And yet other comments that are so close to the line they make me gasp, and I'm impressed with the posters wit and their nerve! And these aren't deleted! I'm becoming confused as to MN's rules and goalposts, because I honestly feel like they've changed. It's all become a bit twee and more like netmums suddenly and I'm finding that confusingly mostly, and very frustrating.

@kwiksavenofrillsusername

I mean, they mostly target influencers who put their entire lives out there, yet block any valid criticism on social media. If you choose that kind of career, you can't expect to live in a happy echo chamber. They also expose some serious grifters, like a certain poverty campaigner who is always begging for donations online.

It's also where I found out what a Dubai porta potty is, so err, thanks Tattle.

Jack Monroe?

Also, I googled Dubai porta potty and wow, DO NOT WANT.

I know it's a zombie but ...

.

Haven't rtft, but I don't see how you can compare a site whose whole purpose is to criticise people with a site with the breadth of topics and functions of MN, where there may be mean-spirited, unpleasant people (as there are in rl), but where most people are here to chat or exchange advice or information. Support for parents doesn't necessarily mean only support related directly to parenting issues. Parents can want support, information or a chat about anything.

You are entitled to think that.

I am entitled to think that Mumsnet is better. From what I've seen the whole purpose of tattle life is gossip.

That's just not very interesting to me. Therefore Mumsnet is better.

I agree, @GiantWingedWaspMoth - gossip about celebrities and influencers leaves me cold. I rarely know who they are anyway!

The AIBU section of mumsnet tends to be very unsympathetic no matter what someone asks. No way would half of those people behave like that in real life or they'd be friendless (maybe they are and that's why they spend so much time on mumsnet). I thought it was quite interesting that someone had posted an AIBU and what seemed to be the reverse thread was also up. Both times the person asking was absolutely slated, this just confirmed for me that no matter what you ask you'll be told, you're stupid/ridiculous/rude etc. Plenty of lovely mumsnetters BUT probably equally as many pretty callous ones, certainly on the AIBU section anyway.

The thing that gets me about tattle life is that these people who dislike the influencers probably know more about them/spend more time looking at them than their actual fans. I don’t think it’s healthy to have a hobby that’s mainly disliking things.

Having said that, I do think people are quick to say anyone with a negative opinion is bullying/hating on that person.

I do love a bit of tattle life
👍

@Kanaloa

The thing that gets me about tattle life is that these people who dislike the influencers probably know more about them/spend more time looking at them than their actual fans. I don’t think it’s healthy to have a hobby that’s mainly disliking things.

Having said that, I do think people are quick to say anyone with a negative opinion is bullying/hating on that person.

Agreed re your time spent comment. I stumbled upon TL one day as I was looking for a review I had seen of two products I was actually looking at myself at a later date (thinking it would just find the YouTube post) and it appeared as one of the first results.

On the couple of threads I scanned the people seemed to be commenting almost immediately after the person had posted and none of it was about standard or quality of the post; it was all slagging the person off, assuming horrible things about their personal relationships, commenting on their appearance, their (apparent) lack of parenting skills and in some cases, whether they actually cared about their child at all.

It's one thing to hold someone accountable to advertising standards etc. but some (at least the ones I saw) of these people seem to spend their time just being horrible for no other reason than being horrible, perhaps egged on by a bit of a mob mentality.

I’ve recently come to MN from tattle because it’s turned into such a cesspit. I deleted my my account a while ago as I started to find it draining but would still lurk occasionally on a couple of threads. On one of the threads I followed, a user posted the full name of someone I happen to know of, and her dp, and outed her as a domestic abuse victim. I’ve no idea if it’s true but even if it is, it shouldn’t be used as gossip fodder on a public forum! She’s not an influencer, she’s just a normal person. So I created another account to report it but new members don’t have that facility so I commented on the thread. Within minutes it was deleted and I was banned for a couple of weeks. When I was able to log back in I didn’t have the permissions to delete the account so I posted in the ‘Help’ thread and explained what happened and could admin let me know how to delete my account. Again, the comment was swiftly deleted and I was banned permanently but the post naming that poor woman is STILL there.

I don't think you're wrong in comparing the two but you are wrong if you think Tattle is honest and fair.

Some of the threads over there I've seen are frankly unhinged - the amount of time they must take over them. The absolute pettiness and detail they go into and backslapping of each other is frankly bizarre, I can't get my head around the time they take to dissect every story, post, video and the excitement they exercise when they think an influencer has seen the thread . I'm largely apathetic about influencer culture and see it starting to wane already (except for A Listers) and find this all a bit bewildering

I think unhinged is the right word. I understand not liking influencers or calling out undeclared ads obviously but a lot of tattlers seem to actively follow these people just so they can hate them even more intensely. They know every little thing about their and their families lives to the point that it can be genuinely quite concerning. It’s not healthy behaviour.

I’ll tell you one thing that’s great on tattle: the long running Gender Discussions threads. Much more in depth and reality-based than on here.

@ginandbearit

Tattle is fun and a bit bitchy but has also shone a searchlight on very dodgy instagram 'bossbabes' in a way mn shies away from ..maybe its not in mn's remit so fair enough but the amount of deleted threads recently ( nurses experiences in hospitals ?) has sent me searching elsewhere...and a very funny Harry and Meghan thread too .

Agreed way too many selective thread deletions and VERY selective and inconsistent movement of threads off AIBU to somewhere else.