To think Mumsnet isn't any better than Tattle life?

[DebbieDowner101]

The site claims to be "commentary and critique of people who chose to monetise their lives as a business and release it to the public domain"

From my time on the site I've found it to be just that. Honest, and well measured critique of someone who has chosen to market themselves and/or their families online.

The threads I've seen via Instagramers claiming to be bullied has just been people giving a perfectly reasonable negative opinion on them, or something they have done. Surely if you are putting yourself online to gain followers you accept the good and the bad, and that not everything negative is bullying, still just an opinion?

Mumsnet on the other hand claims to be a resource of support for parents, but I regularly see posters jumped etc usually on a perfectly reasonable post.

AIBU to think Mumsnet isn't any holier?

Being an Instasham influencer is not a career. If you think it is, presumably you'd be happy if your teenager said actually I'm not going to uni/ seek a job, I'm going to stay at home and build my following on Insta/YouTube etc?!

I highly doubt it.

It's like an ethical dilemma. Which is less virtuous..
Earning money through a public image?
or
Spending hours tearing apart the minutiae of a stranger's life, looks and family?
To most people it's obvious where the moral compass would land but Tattlers skew to the opposite.

I also find it interesting that they never turn that scrutiny on the people behind Tattle. I mean if your publicly proclaimed reason d'etre is to call for more transparency from everyone on the internet, why is Tattle shrouded in misinformation and disinformation about its founder?

If by sales you include any MLM type stuff then I absolutely wouldn't consider that either legitimate or a career either.

I love tattle

But I do despise Mrs Hinch and a lot of the other influencers they tear to shreds in any case!

Surely the question is would you like your content to put money into your own pocket and the coffers of Youtube?
Or would you like your content to make women less likely to participate in public life and put money into the coffers of persons unknown?

You despise someone you've never met?
Why?
That mentality is completely beyond me. sorry.

I enjoy reading Tattle, but have never posted there. Most of the posters seem respectful of each others points of view, and you don't see any of the sneering nastiness that is often found on here (and no, it isn't just restricted to AIBU.)

Gossiping about celebrities (and I use that term loosely) who have chosen to live their lives in the public eye for profit is arguably more morally sound that ripping apart some poor single mother who has posted for advice under the guise of "being honest."

It's like an ethical dilemma. Which is less virtuous..
Earning money through a public image?
or
Spending hours tearing apart the minutiae of a stranger's life, looks and family?
To most people it's obvious where the moral compass would land but Tattlers skew to the opposite.

It’s an ethical dilemma. Which is less virtuous...
Raising your children on the internet without their permission or consent (from birth), exposing their entire life to millions of people and then profiting from their potential sexuality or gender confusion.

Or

Questioning if filming your children every day of their life and then making money from it to buy fancy cars to sell for a huge loss and emotionally abuse your children, is fair and right?

And the formatting + lack of edit button on MN is prehistoric.

@Grenlei but here you go again, writing a rant about a total stranger. Most people really don't care.

There's plenty of people I dislike- say piers Morgan. He's a wanker. If he comes up in conversation I might be like "oh what a wanker' but what I don't do is hate watch gmb every morning, go on a forum to post the minutae of piers Morgan misendevours, the blueprint of his house etc. Messaging piers local council to say he's broken a lock down rule, or not home educated his kids. That's obsessive, stalkerish behaviour and quite frankly unhealthy.

One of the rules of tattle is you are not allowed to disagree. You aren't allowed to post positive comments on a negative thread. Anything combative gets deleted. Its an echo chamber of hate. You aren't 'calling anyone out' or doing any kind of public service

I think tattle depends on the threads. The hinch ones seem a bit insane, the Meghan ones just vile, but the Jack Monroe ones are hilarious. It’s no different to MN, some corners attract a better quality of poster than others!

Is it a 'rant' because I disagree with you? What a patronising turn of phrase.

If you've been on Tattle you should know there are many rave threads too about influencers etc. It's disingenuous to say you can't disagree, of course you can and people do. What isn't tolerated is posters moderating threads, and frankly MN could learn from that.

@RolandSchitt

There are a few eye opening tattle threads. I can't say the name of one person or it seems to invoke their presence. But it was a person I knew I had weird feelings about, and seeing it all put together rmade it clear I wasn't alone.

I think I know who you mean, worse than Beetlejuice as you don't even have to say their name thrice

Well yes because it was a 5 paragraph post about everything you hate about Mrs hinch not a disagreement of my post?

There are rave threads but they have about 1/10th of the engagement of the negative threads. And that still doesn't change the fact that if you disagree with a poster on a negative thread your post will get deleted. The rule is you must post hate on a hate thread, if you do not you get deleted and eventually banned. The threads are insanely moderated!

TL is nicer than mumsnet.

Well yes because it was a 5 paragraph post about everything you hate about Mrs hinch not a disagreement of my post?

Exactly lol, how was it a disagreement? It was just an excuse for a rant.

What isn't tolerated is posters moderating threads, and frankly MN could learn from that
People have said that you cannot disagree or post anything supportive on the threads.
When the IG threads on here have been in full swing, people realllllly don't like it if you question them or say something that they don't want to hear.
Maybe you like a little toxic echo chamber where mods boot any different opinions, but here it's good that other views can be heard too.

@DishedUp

Well yes because it was a 5 paragraph post about everything you hate about Mrs hinch not a disagreement of my post?

There are rave threads but they have about 1/10th of the engagement of the negative threads. And that still doesn't change the fact that if you disagree with a poster on a negative thread your post will get deleted. The rule is you must post hate on a hate thread, if you do not you get deleted and eventually banned. The threads are insanely moderated!

It's partly the overarching census and endless nods of approval there that I find off-putting. And apparently everyone there is 'nice' and 'not mean' to each other...duh.

The main thing I look for in a forum is diversity of views. So of course, MumsNet has its share of wealth braggers and snobs, but you'll find disagreement and challenge at every turn. I remember a thread where OP declared that anyone without a pension was foolish and stupid, and like virtually every thread here, it result in a mix of views: some in agreement, others pointing out the utter cluelessness of OP to the working circumstances of many people.

But I wouldn't glorify this place either, and yes its user interface is beyond outdated.

I've had a quick look and it seems to be full of the same people who would actually follow influencers.

Why?

They are clearly paid to market product and you don't know them, so wht on earth would you trust their opinion?

They are clearly paid to market product and you don't know them, so wht on earth would you trust their opinion?

I suppose the point is that it isn’t immediate obvious to some people and that’s the problem.

I don’t think normal savvy people need to worry about instagrammers, but vulnerable and impressionable people in society need to be protected.

Holding people to account for bad behaviour is fine, but some of the assassination for unrelated issues is way OTT.

And that still doesn't change the fact that if you disagree with a poster on a negative thread your post will get deleted. The rule is you must post hate on a hate thread, if you do not you get deleted and eventually banned.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion on Tattle, as you are. Respectfully, the above has not been my experience. Within the thread I follow, there's often a difference of opinion which I wouldn't see if these posts were deleted. Equally, Tattle is a website influencers can choose to look at or ignore, it's not posted on their Instagram feed. And, as with Mumsnet, there is a community spirit; in the last few months I've read posts from tattlers about miscarriages, bereavements, cancer treatment and financial issues and they been supported by other posters.

I agree that personal comments about physical appearance are unnecessary. But, as with people who put themselves in the public eye, people are allowed to have a negative opinion of posts on Instagram. If you post photos of your lounge and say "what do you think guys?", you can't call anyone who doesn't like it a troll or a bully.

They're selling their lifestyle and their family life as a product. It's not quite like putting a crushing review of a company on Trustpilot but most of the Insta influencers are sales people and have to accept the criticism that goes with this, as well as the revenue they earn. I don't have an issue with them earning money from being an influencer but I'm not sure all their followers see through the fairly superficial facade of "we're all friends in this together" (with another swipe up).

I know the coma thread mentioned by someone, I was there and no people weren't being vile towards her. I think there were one or two people wondering if the statement posted on her insta had been exaggerated. While that's not my view, when someone is known for lying and being deceptive on social media it's understandable that when the truth is for once being told they don't believe it.

So you don't think it is awful to say that a young mother who is a lying in a coma caused it herself? That her being overweight is the reason she is in a coma and her boy was born prematurely. Completely ignoring the fact that they have no fucking idea about her medical history or what is happening in that hospital. If someone here said their wife was in a coma with covid after delivering their child prematurely do you think anybody here would say well it's her own fault because she is fat? Accusing her of exaggerating being in a fucking coma because she didn't get enough attention when her boy was born?

If you think that is OK and you clearly do as you are making excuses for the people who have spouted this shit then you have problems.

If the thread was so wholesome why did it get locked? Anyone who thinks that a young mum in a coma separated from her premature son is anything but an absolute bloody tragedy is not a nice person and that is being polite about it.

@Quaagars

You despise someone you've never met? Why? That mentality is completely beyond me. sorry.

I despise Trump. I don’t need to meet the fucker for that.

It is an honest living

Is it? I think that's questionable

Hmm there are some horrible characters on this site too.

I read the Jack Monroe thread and found it very funny and it was nice to see that other people had realised some shady behaviour had been going on.

The other insta stuff I don’t generally take much notice of but I thought it was about calling out the deceitful hidden ads and swipe ups?

There seems to be a lot of knowledge about it from people who allegedly hate the place though...

I think tattle is the cesspit of the internet.

From reading threads on there it is filled with jealous, insecure miserable people who's pass time it is stalking people online.

They are the epitome of school yard bullies. I have yet to see a thread that I dont read and think what miserable and pathetic lifes those people have.

It stems from pure jealousy and misery if you ask me. Wrapped up in some moral crusade.

I have seen some awful awful posts on there with lots of your so right clap on the backs.

It seems you can say whatever you want if its targeted externally, but god help you if you even attempt to disagree with the pack mentality. The moderation is shocking.

I dont think its comparable to mumsnet.