To have told my in-laws that they’ll have what they’re given and like it?

[GoJetterGirl]

Right,

So, talking with in-laws On FaceTime who are in the age category for the first round of Covid vaccinations... and convo went like this...

DH- have you heard about vaccinations yet?
FIL- Not yet, but when they call I’ll tell them it must be the Oxford one as I don’t want a foreign vaccine!
DH- I don’t think you get a choice...
MIL- They will for your father dear, he can be quite insistent...
DH-
ME- ummm, no, you’ll be offered a vaccine, you among millions are waiting for these vaccines and you think you have the right to be picky?! You’ll take what they offer you and like it!
MIL- promptly bursts into tears “why is she being mean to meeeeeeee”

DH thinks I’m being unreasonable as I’ve had enough of his rule flouting, idiotic, entitled. argumentative parents and I’ve finally snapped and put them in their place...

(Those of you who followed my sons journey will
Understand my snappy attitude towards them)

Ps- the daily mail and any journos can piss off too....

Good grief OP. I remember your previous posts - can’t believe its nearly a year. for you and your dh - you will be in my thoughts so much next month.

As for the vile PILs, is it too much to hope that they refuse the ‘foreign’ vaccine and therefore drop to the very bottom of the list for being twats? That means that they will be behind even me (est December 2021) and therefore locked in at home and unable to bother you in person? Small victories, and all that...

Bless them! Unfortunately, there is not choice at the moment.

Like so many people I am surprised you still have contact with these toxic people after their shocking behaviour when your beloved boy was so ill.

I'm amazed anyone thinks YABU. They are being utterly preposterous.

Without your back story I would have thought laughing in their faces at the ridiculousness would be reasonable. With your back story the angrier and more direct response you gave is also totally reasonable.

I dont know the backstory but PILs have also said this. We just said that thats their decision but it's a risk to refuse it and they don't know when they'll be offered it again. And then moved on.

If there's a history here I can only assume you've reached the Bitch Eating Crackers stage as it's known. If someone's pushed you to that point you feel you want to commit murder at the least thing they do. In some cases it's understandable, too, but it's not necessarily a state that's conducive to good judgement.

The stuff you mention in your OP is a waste of good energy and should be tuned out as the inconsequential radio noise it is. Not worth the effort.

Why would you say that? What did you think would happen?

@WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants The straw that breaks the camels back is often something that seems 'not worth the argument' OK but it doesn't seem to have made the OP happy, in fact its just wound her up.

It isn't the OPs fight is it, the HCPs will have the discussion with them and they will either have it or not.

Your home should be your safe space. I think you need to ask your dh to stop forcing you to hear them, which I think you’ve said you’ve done. You can go nc with them, they don’t get to come to your home ever again, dh can go to them. I’d say it’s unfair to ask him to go nc, even tho he sounds like he’d probably like to, but he sounds like he’s properly mired in FOG.

My MIL turns on the waterworks when anyone tries to disagree with her. I just roll my eyes and ignore her when she starts now. I don't think YABU but is it really worth the hassle?

OP's previous threads are about her little 7-year-old boy's battle with terminal cancer, which the in-laws have sabotaged and made even more horrific than it was, so the OP has a right to tell them whatever the hell she wants. In fact, I can't believe the OP speaks to them at all

OP you're my hero.

If they don't want it I'll take it. I'm a teacher and I'd be very grateful for it!

@annevonkleve

Ok I think I'm slow to the party but are you Gojetterboy/mum?

@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows

I have recently started a local campaign to request teachers getting vaccinated urgently so we can return children to school, I’m alarmed at the number of vulnerable children that have been removed to be homeschooled against the advice of the school...

I think that anyone refuses a vaccine, - fine, that's it, they've refused the vaccine. Any vaccine. Back to the end of the queue for any and all of them. Stupid parochial idiots.

@hashbrownsandwich
Yes, that’s me, still missing him so so much, waiting on my Woolley hug to arrive, progress on it looks fantastic and it’s been so helpful to reread the hand hold and candle light threads when I’m really missing him, I periodically sit with his ashes and read to him and just talk, I’m slowly learning to cope, but I feeL so so lost

I'm so sorry OP. I remember your thread this time last year too. I knew your name was familiar, but couldn't remember how until a pp said 'angelJetterboy'. And then it all came back.

Your in-laws are appalling. I'd be furious if my DH didn't support me after what you've been through. I have to be honest, it would be a deal-breaker (and, indeed, we have been through something that almost was - he went NC. Thankfully, not anything like as awful as your situation, but it's not a race to the bottom - it's feelings that matter here. Feelings, empathy and understanding)

Being kind, I can only think he's still stuck in the FOG. But he really needs some counselling to get out of it and support both you, and your younger DS. You really deserve that.

Thoughts are with you, OP, as the first anniversary gets closer. Be kind to yourself, please.

You can go nc with them, they don’t get to come to your home ever again, dh can go to them.

I'd agree with this.

My husband wants a relationship with his family for himself and our child. I neither want to nor have the power to stop that. But he facilitates it, and with zero input from me. I have a right to safeguard my boundaries and protect myself which means I don't have any kind of relationship with them.

Decisions like this do come at a cost and I don't want my husband and son to pay the price. But my dignity and wellbeing matters too. It was my choice, as a functioning, autonomous adult, after a long backstory and the usual costs versus benefits assessment. I'm more than happy with my decision and remain convinced it's in the best interests of everyone concerned.

No one can force you to suck it up, OP. You can decide to say 'no'.

I only read your thread last February @GoJetterGirl but based on that alone, I'd say you were entitled to tell someone being picky about a potentially lifesaving vaccine to FUCK RIGHT OFF.

Sending uumumsnetty hugs

[quote CostaDelCovid]@annevonkleve [/quote]
They have contracted a facility in India to make vaccines for developing countries. The UK market is being served by Keele with some early supplies from the Netherlands & Germany.

I too, have been thinking of you. I can’t believe it is nearly a year since your little boy died. Sending love. I can’t believe you were so restrained. I am afraid I would have given it to them with both barrels after the way they behaved.

I have read the history.

Get them to visit.

Call me when they arrive.

I'll push them in which ever one of the Nine Locks is full at the time for you.

This sounds like my MIL who says she only wants the Oxford vaccine

@BlueGreenDreams
Do I know you in RL? You described a local landmark for me...