To have told my in-laws that they’ll have what they’re given and like it?

[GoJetterGirl]

Right,

So, talking with in-laws On FaceTime who are in the age category for the first round of Covid vaccinations... and convo went like this...

DH- have you heard about vaccinations yet?
FIL- Not yet, but when they call I’ll tell them it must be the Oxford one as I don’t want a foreign vaccine!
DH- I don’t think you get a choice...
MIL- They will for your father dear, he can be quite insistent...
DH-
ME- ummm, no, you’ll be offered a vaccine, you among millions are waiting for these vaccines and you think you have the right to be picky?! You’ll take what they offer you and like it!
MIL- promptly bursts into tears “why is she being mean to meeeeeeee”

DH thinks I’m being unreasonable as I’ve had enough of his rule flouting, idiotic, entitled. argumentative parents and I’ve finally snapped and put them in their place...

(Those of you who followed my sons journey will
Understand my snappy attitude towards them)

Ps- the daily mail and any journos can piss off too....

It's not just them, dp had a similar conversation with his mother, she's waiting for the "British" one!

@GoJetterGirl So, you need to tell your husband you won't countenance any more of this twice daily call nonsense and he needs to speak with them away from your earshot.

Any chance he could go outside and speak to them from the car so you are oblivious to the chats?
This kind of space should give you the peace you need.

You need to be in survival mode, they can't ruin any semblance of inner peace you are holding onto,

They are adults with capacity,if they chose to make a badly informed decision I’m afraid there’s nothing you can do
I’d not be expending energy in the pantomime of trying to cajole or convince
I wish you well, follow the rules keep on keeping on

The lock on the office door sounds like a good idea. All that facetiming sounds grim and an in law free space might help a bit.

@whitechocolatehobnobs she really wasn't

TBH, bearing in mind the back story, I'd be snappier than you were. And if your OH doesn't like it he can walk round and facetime them in a room that isn't occupied by you.
After the way they treated you and the distress they caused, he should be NC with them, but if he's not prepared to do that he should at least shield you from them. Maybe a bit more snapping will encourage him to do that.

@DeliaOwens

I can tell DH that he needs to step outside, he has conceded that his parents are entitled and rude and agrees that we need to protect ourselves and DS, also given that AngelJetterBoys angelversary is soon, I’ve told him that I don’t want or expect to hear them or hear any mention of them and how much they “miss DS “
And how much “it’s killing his parents” because well matey, it’s killing me a hell of a lot more...

In reality, neither of the parties in this tale are being reasonable. Neither you nor them are able to choose which vaccine they will be offered so it is not reasonable for anyone to be arguing about it. It seems like both parties are wasting their breath.

I remember your previous threads and honestly, either go NC or accept the relationship as it is and take the ‘drama out of it’, essentially. Presumably you and your husband are a team and can come to a compromise that works for both of you.

It sounds like this is less about the vaccine, more about you just not liking them.

I mean on the face of it I think you were incredibly rude and aggressive. They’ve got every right to choose what gets injected into their bodies. I think we’ll have reached a dangerous point when we start telling people that they’ll take whatever injection is given to them and like it.

I see there’s a massive backstory that explains your aggressive reaction. It doesn’t change the fact people do get to choose what’s injected into them.

"MIL- They will for your father dear, he can be quite insistent..."

That is hilarious & could be straight out of a sitcom.

"They FaceTime at least twice a day to talk with DS aged 2,"

I would have thought he doesn't need such exposure to such awful people-rather protecting from them!

tell them they wont be seeing your dc then

sorry gjg i remember your thread cant believe its been nearly a year already

You’re obsessed with your in-laws.
I’m sure you’d feel so much better if you take a step back from them.

I wouldn't dream of speaking to the IL's that way. They aren't my parents, it's not my place to tell them what to do

I could advise my own parents, my dad wouldn't like it though

I don't take part in FaceTime or zoom calls with the IL's

Even though you disagree it's not really any of your business.

Hi GoJetterGirl

I hope that you are coping, esp during lockdown. I think about you a lot.

Oh @GoJetterGirl, your PILs just don't get any better, do they? I think your DH could have spared you that conversation tbh. Can't believe it's nearly a year since GoJetterBoy passed away. I think about you often too.

Tell DH to keep the hell away from your work space. There are plenty of rooms in the house he can speak to them. He could just do a normal phone call too, no need to have their voices and opinions all over the house.

It baffles me that he's still in so much contact with them after everything that happened

Posters, please be kind. There is a huge and very sad backstory to this. If you check OPs history, you will understand why. It's not the usual 'my MIL' is annoying type of post. Just please be kind to the OP after what she had been through.

humour them and watch it unfold, I'm sure it will be entertaining :o

I'm so sorry your precious boy died.

I'm disappointed for you that your PIL are so self absorbed.

Your husband also needs to pick a side.

lol someone has been reading the daily mail...as I understand it some of the vaccines are more effective in different age brackets so the HNS trust they fall into will only provide them the jab that is most effective for their age group

OP, I remember you and your vile selfish PIL from your other threads.

You must have a patience of a saint as I can’t imagine interacting in ANY way with people who made your life so difficult.

DH would be on his own (literally) with his parents.

Oh it's you op!

Bless your heart for still being in any contact with them whatsoever. They're hideous arseholes.

Block these vampires once and for all.

While I can understand that they're vile people, there wasn't any need for you to be rude. Rise above it. You know there going to make it all about them so why given them the ammo and attention. They're far better ignored.

That way you save your sanity, and your dignity. If you disengage, so will you let partner to a certain degree. When he's left alone to deal with them all the time, he'll realise them for what they are. Until then you will be the scapegoat. You walked right into that one I'm afraid.

yes i dont understand your dh tbh doesnt he think enough is enough