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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

On a diet and husband refused to bring me food

225 replies

CoconutTea · 07/01/2021 19:46

I asked husband to bring me a snack (crackers and cheese) and he stopped in his tracks, refused and said aren't you on a diet anymore. Aibu to be pissed off?

OP posts:
Thewinterofdiscontent · 07/01/2021 23:22

@roarfeckingroarr

Well you’re a size 8, so then yes probably losing a tub of ice cream a week might be enough.
If you’re a size 16 you need to lose the tub of ice cream, the snacks, the second dollop of mash and the little something before bed, to get to a size 12.

I agree cheese is fine.

SimplyRadishing · 07/01/2021 23:22

As the chubby wife of a man who loves to indulge me I can conclusively say Yabu

Your husband is being supportive, your weight makes you unhappy, you have said as much and he wants you to be happy.

PickAChew · 07/01/2021 23:26

Did you pathetically waste away or something?

Girlyracer · 07/01/2021 23:31

I don't think he refused to bring you food. I'm sure if you'd asked for a stick of celery he'd have given you one. He checked you were on a diet and quite understandably queried how cheese and crackers was part of that.

caringcarer · 07/01/2021 23:48

This is where we go wrong my dh just gets them for both of us.

54321GoGoGo · 08/01/2021 00:24

If he brought you the cheese, would post he enabled you to snack!?

Poor man, just can't get it right!

snowisfallingallaroundus · 08/01/2021 02:15

@UniversallyUnchallenged

Now I am eating crackers (made by myself) - why am I so open to suggestion 🥺

Send me money. Send it now.

MichelleScarn · 08/01/2021 06:47

[quote CoconutTea]@Seychelles98 I think that's what upsetting, that he wants me to lose the weight as much as I do. Sad[/quote]
Ah, so is it more of you're actually not really wanting to diet, and you want him to say 'don't be ridiculous darling why on earth do you think you need to diet?' And he's not?

Bluesheep8 · 08/01/2021 07:15

Just get it yourself.

drspouse · 08/01/2021 07:19

People on diets are allowed snacks. The OP is not a child.

JillofTrades · 08/01/2021 07:19

You are on a diet. Im sure you would have blasted his head off then if he brought you one for not 'being supportive'.

KatherineJaneway · 08/01/2021 07:26

I think that's what upsetting, that he wants me to lose the weight as much as I do. Sad

So it isn't about him not bringing you the snack, its that he wants you to lose weight.

SendHelp30 · 08/01/2021 07:29

Oh god you’re one of those women who would’ve been “fuming” with him if he offered you a chocolate and screamed at him that you’re on a diet aren’t you.

He can’t win! Of course he was right to question bloody CHEESE if you’re dieting!!

kowari · 08/01/2021 07:30

YABU. He sounds like he is trying to support you. What is wrong with him wanting you to lose the weight if you want to too? He likely just wants you to be happy and healthy. If you still wanted a snack when you were finished with your child you could have got one then.

WelliesWithHeels · 08/01/2021 07:30

I'm surprised by the replies that express shock that OP would ask her DP for a snack. I have breakfast brought to me in bed daily and, by the same token, happily will bring my DP lunch or a snack if he wants it.
I think the more important part is that OP's DP sounds like he might be putting pressure on her to be a certain size. My personal experience is slimming down is so much easier when you have a partner who adores you as-is and is just happy when you make good choices and doesn't shame you when you have a natural and very human slip up.

isthismylifenow · 08/01/2021 07:38

Cheese and biscuits is a meal here.

And do people over the age of 8 still use the word 'snack'...

Poor guy. He can't do right for doing wrong it seems.

MacbookHoHoHo · 08/01/2021 07:40

I think that's what upsetting, that he wants me to lose the weight as much as I do.

Start a defiant plot in your head, where you throw yourself into dieting, lose all the excess weight, emerge looking like a SEX GODDESS and then run away with Channing Tatum.

That’s how I think about things when my DH annoys me.

Pyewhacket · 08/01/2021 07:41

You sound hard work

Groovinpeanut · 08/01/2021 07:50

Well there's only one thing to do.....
LTB 😂😂

user1493494961 · 08/01/2021 07:54

I hate the word snack.

Ihatefish · 08/01/2021 08:01

@isthismylifenow

Cheese and biscuits is a meal here.

And do people over the age of 8 still use the word 'snack'...

Poor guy. He can't do right for doing wrong it seems.

Same here. Cheese and biscuits is something I would have for lunch not a snack!
Billben · 08/01/2021 08:13

@Girlyracer

I don't think he refused to bring you food. I'm sure if you'd asked for a stick of celery he'd have given you one. He checked you were on a diet and quite understandably queried how cheese and crackers was part of that.
This 👍 YABU OP
CrazyToast · 08/01/2021 08:16

Wow. OP it is totally normal in a healthy relationship to be able to ask your partner to bring you something. No idea what is going on with all these people on here tonight.

It depends how he said it and context. If you have asked him to support you then he was probably just trying clumsily to do that. But if he was saying it in a 'cos you need to lose weight' way then I would be annoyed.

It's upsetting to think that he also wants you to lose weight but even if he does, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you how you are. He just wants you to be happy.

Basically unless he is always making little digs about your weight I would let it go.

sammylady37 · 08/01/2021 08:16

@BlueGreenDreams

Jesus, there's some right ones on here tonight. Male misogynists or their female apologists aplenty over several threads it seems.

Being on a diet DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO EAT for start. I also fail to see how it's like giving up fucking smoking seeing as if you don't eat, you sodding die. Nobody ever died of not having cigarettes any more.

The knowledge that you are on a diet also does not entitle ANYONE else to dictate what you can and cannot have to eat.

Whether to be on a diet or not and the choice of food is solely down to the person dieting.

Your H is an arsehole, it's not up to him what you are allowed to eat.

Such drama!

Btw, nobody ever died from not having a snack. The hunger-strikers survived over 60 days without any food. The op was not in any danger of demise.

(Obviously, diabetics not included in the above!)

MerryDecembermas · 08/01/2021 08:17

Well he can't win can he. Brings you snacks, he's undermining you trying to lose weight. Doesn't bring you snacks, he's being nasty and critical.

Make your mind up

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