On a diet and husband refused to bring me food

[CoconutTea]

I asked husband to bring me a snack (crackers and cheese) and he stopped in his tracks, refused and said aren't you on a diet anymore. Aibu to be pissed off?

This is a weird thread.

I've asked my partner to get me something to eat before if I was busy with something else. He would do the same... is it so weird to do something to help out your spouse?

I also don't see the problem with eating cheese and crackers as a snack. We both do this a few times a week and I'm a healthy size 8 with a varied diet.

@Daphnise

Your requested "snack" was calorific and high in fat.

So you should be grateful you were denied it, and be praising your husband.

Have a rice cracker and a glass of water instead.

😂

also don't see the problem with eating cheese and crackers as a snack. We both do this a few times a week and I'm a healthy size 8 with a varied diet.

That’s great.. You are a size 8 and clearly you know how much to eat to stay a size 8.
If you wanted to be a size 6 though you would have to take something out of your diet wouldn’t you?

YABU. Obviously.

You'd be accusing him of enabling you if he brought you the crackers

Yabu

Yabu, you can ask but he's entitled to say no.

@roarfeckingroarr

This is a weird thread.

I've asked my partner to get me something to eat before if I was busy with something else. He would do the same... is it so weird to do something to help out your spouse?

I also don't see the problem with eating cheese and crackers as a snack. We both do this a few times a week and I'm a healthy size 8 with a varied diet.

Surely you know that cheese and crackers (saturated fat + refined carbs) is not the sort of food one would eat while trying to lose weight. Fine as a snack if eaten in sensible amounts when maintaining weight, but not on a weight loss diet.

Can people stop saying that cheese and crackers are not ok when losing weight? Spectacularly wrong... And honestly, this is why so many people fail. Unrealistic expectations and restrictions.

Definitely need to stick him under the patio for this one.

Regardless of whether you should or shouldn’t be eating cheese and crackers, the thing that strikes me is the asking him to get it for you while you are “doing something with your child.” I do find that there is a certain type of person who the minute they are doing something, feel compelled to give someone else a job to do, or get someone to help them. Presumably if you’re too busy to get cheese and crackers yourself, then you’re also too busy to eat them and you should just wait and get them yourself.

I want someone to bring me cheese and crackers now!

@WaltzesWithSnobs

I want someone to bring me cheese and crackers now!

Well I'm not bringing you any, you're on a diet.

I happily ask my dh to bring me food even when I’m not doing anything but sitting on the sofa peckish but not wanting to move. Saying “please can you bring me some crackers and cheese” is a totally normal thing to say to your husband without needing an excuse. Technically I could get my own but after a day at work, feeding the family packed lunches and dinner, putting dc to bed because dd3 only wants mummy cuddles and can’t sleep without them (I love them too), why can’t dh wash up and bring sodding crackers? I’m fascinated how other relationships work if you refuse to do anything nice for the other without a reason.

Goodness, I'm amazed at the amount of posters who can manage a whole cracker AND a piece of cheese at lunchtime! DH and I just share a grape, and that keeps us nice and full for the rest of the week.

@Shoppingwithmother

Regardless of whether you should or shouldn’t be eating cheese and crackers, the thing that strikes me is the asking him to get it for you while you are “doing something with your child.” I do find that there is a certain type of person who the minute they are doing something, feel compelled to give someone else a job to do, or get someone to help them. Presumably if you’re too busy to get cheese and crackers yourself, then you’re also too busy to eat them and you should just wait and get them yourself.

This! This explains it well.

@Thewinterofdiscontent

also don't see the problem with eating cheese and crackers as a snack. We both do this a few times a week and I'm a healthy size 8 with a varied diet.

That’s great.. You are a size 8 and clearly you know how much to eat to stay a size 8.
If you wanted to be a size 6 though you would have to take something out of your diet wouldn’t you?

I probably would cut out the carton of ice cream I've just seen off, or add in an extra run each week.

Cheese is fine. Better than most empty diet foods.

I really don’t understand why you were so desperate that he had to go get them for you. Couldn’t you have waited?

Did you make a big song and dance about being on a diet? When did it start? Cheese and crackers is seldom a good choice when dieting. It needs some serious portion control and you would be best doing that.

I’ve just snuck downstairs for some crackers left over from Christmas.. there’s LOADS still left
Can’t wait for them to be finished to be honest

The fat shaming in this thread is horrible.

@CoconutTea from your last post, it seems like you'd like him to be more supportive (emotionally, rather than "supporting" your diet by denying you food). Have you spoken to him about how you feel?

I don’t think he’s done anything wrong to be honest. If you’re on a diet then you are on a diet so you don’t really need crackers and cheese as a snack in between meals.

Although my partner is also on a diet at the moment and he asked to have a hotel Chocolat hot chocolate earlier with a biscuit and I told him no and that I’d only make him a green tea as he’s being good 🤷🏼‍♀️

Don’t sit and talk to me for days about diet stuff if you’re going to crack after a few days because I won’t let that happen.

Oh and OP... I honestly don’t care if he loses weight or not so my reply is nothing to do with wanting him to lose any weight.

@SchrodingersImmigrant

Can people stop saying that cheese and crackers are not ok when losing weight? Spectacularly wrong... And honestly, this is why so many people fail. Unrealistic expectations and restrictions.

So what nutritional value do actually crackers have then? Think they’re just energy from refined carbs. Why not just a bit of cheese if it’s “ a snack”? Even better why not a big salad with olives and cheese and call it lunch.

The reason people fail is precisely because crackers and cheese are delicious and it’s easy to shove a few in as a snack. And then still have a big a meal afterwards
The unrealistic expectation and the reason weight goes back on is because people don’t stick to eating fewer calories once the weight is off.

I don't think there is any fat shaming here.

I, however, think that people are mixing up what this is about. It's not about asking for something instead of getting it yourself. It's about OP being sensitive to what DP said about the diet. And yes. It's very much a case of damned if they do, damned if they don't so there is simply no right answer.

If you told your OH you were on a diet, then I'm not surprised he queried whether he should really be fetching you food. Unless there's a backstory, it seems like a supportive reaction to me. 'You told me you wanted to do X and not Y, now you are saying you want to do Y, are you sure about that, or are you just finding X hard?'

Being on a diet puts you at risk of hanger, which can make you react slightly irrationally to anything...

As an aside, if I'm too busy to fetch myself a snack, I try to ride it, because sometimes being too busy will allow you to forget you were 'hungry'. If you're still hungry after the event, you were probably hungry and should find food. Most of the time, though, you were just bored and the distraction helps you forget you wanted to eat.

@CoconutTea

I was doing something with our child.

Was the 'something' something he could have done with your DC? Did it have to be you?

In our house that would have been me saying will you do this with [DC], I'm hungry, I want to get something to eat.