Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed that this woman ruins my dog walks?

458 replies

IAmARectangle · 07/01/2021 14:55

I've name changed for this as I've moaned to a couple of friends in RL about it.

I live in a village that has a massive park in it, and I take our dog over to the park each day at least once as she loves it there. There is an area specifically for dogs so she can go off the lead, and she enjoys walking through the rest of it on the lead so she can have a sniff. The only other place in our village where she could go off the lead would be some woods, which are a fair walk from our house to get there and are also very muddy and flooded at this time of year. I am currently working from home and the kids are doing online learning, so I like to just nip out for a quick half hour walk.

For the last year or so there has been a woman with a dog who is at the park literally every single time I go there. Lets just say she is a chatterbox! She is always talking to someone at the park and if she gets there with her dog she makes a beeline to find someone to talk to and then talks and talks and talks and talks, about the same things over and over again.

In the last couple of months she makes a beeline for me every time she sees me. She is there literally every time I go to the park; I've tried walking the dog at every single time of daylight hours you could think of to avoid her but she is always, always there! If I think she's not there it isn't long before I see her out of the corner of my eye walking towards me and if I pretend not to see her she follows me and catches up with me, then just walks along talking at me and I just can't get away from her.

The other day I was on a work call whilst in the dog exercising area and this woman came and stood with me and as I walked around the area talking on my phone she just talked at me the whole time! I wasn't interacting with her in any way as I was on the phone but she just kept telling me the same stories that she's told me before, such as the story of where she got her dog from!

I've just literally been to the park now and as I walked into the park she was standing talking to someone so I sort of did a detour around her at the entrance so she wouldn't see me and went around the kids play area to enter the dog area a different way and yet still as we walked across the park to the dog area I could see her out of the corner of my eye following us. So I kept the dog on the lead and walked through the park as quickly as I could then made an escape and had to walk home on the main road as she was trying to catch us up.

It sounds ridiculous but she is ruining my dog walks! I like a half hour quiet walk to relax and for the dog to enjoy her walk. I'm not antisocial and always have chats with other walkers but this woman is something else! I'm normally pretty assertive but I've tried all the assertive things that would normally work and she doesn't get the hint. Even walking off from her saying 'right, better go now' she just follows me, talking at me! I can't get away from her until I actually walk out of the park gates. I've also been at the park with a friend and her dog before and this woman just started walking with us, talking 'at' us the whole time. Again, same old stories!

I don't think she's lonely as she talks about a husband and kids at home, and seems to know a lot of people. Not sure if age is relevant but she's late forties, early fifties at a guess.

AIBU to be pissed off with her?

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 07/01/2021 14:58

God, how irritating. I think I'd just be slightly ruder. Say things like, "Excuse me, I have to answer some emails" and walk away.

MargeryMcLatchie · 07/01/2021 14:59

She might have dementia. There was a lady in my village who used to stand outside her house abs stop every passer by and ask for the time, in the hope of striking up a conversation.
If you don't want to speak to her, you don't have to. Either put a big pair of headphones on and point them if she says anything (as if to say, "I can't hear you") or just say "I'm sorry, I haven't got time to talk" and walk off.

Sheleg · 07/01/2021 15:00

Big headphones and "JUST FUCK OFF". If this doesn't work, tell her she's harassing you and if she doesn't leave off you'll report her.

iklboo · 07/01/2021 15:00

Bloody hell the 'might have dementia' came out early on this one.

BastardGoDarkly · 07/01/2021 15:02

Youre going to have to go hard or go home Grin

I'm sorry but I just need some time out, home school, you know, talked out... goodbye..

And repeat, dont worry about her feelings, shes not worrying about yours.

JoeCalFuckingZaghe · 07/01/2021 15:02

Oh we had this. Chap in our local park, know it all, told us everything we should be doing with our dogs, even though he had two overweight matted collies, one that would snap at anyone or any dog that came near it, and were hyper focused on their balls so that meant they had good recall of course (bollocks). He’s very much the opposite of me and my partner but felt obliged to talk every time we saw him. Eventually we stopped going as I couldn’t deal with his constant stream of bullshit. I don’t know how to make this woman leave you alone but I hope you find a way. I hate being chatted to when walking the dog it’s my peaceful time.

Chamomileteaplease · 07/01/2021 15:02

So you can be talking on a work phone call and she still talks at you? That is pretty full on !

Have you said - I can't talk now, I am on a work call. And then walked away?

"Must go now" is a bit lame for someone like this!

She obviously has some problem but IMO she is the one being rude so I would have to up the rudeness back. Run away ! Anything!

PlanDeRaccordement · 07/01/2021 15:02

I’m sorry she is ruining your walks. But by your description that she tells the same things to you on repeat every day, she can’t pick up on social cues that you say you have been assertive in telling her you don’t want to talk, the fact she doesn’t abide by social norms- clearly following you. Clearly not normal behaviour. So in sum, is it possible she may be cognitively challenged and disabled? We have a profoundly disabled young man in our village who is similar he talks to everyone who goes by, can’t seem to remember who is who or what he’s already said and he doesn’t walk, he dances his way around the village. He can be a bit annoying at times, but he’s harmless and to hurt him by being nasty would be like kicking a puppy. He wouldn’t know why. So we all just tolerate him and look out for him.

HighSpecWhistle · 07/01/2021 15:02

Sounds like you need to be blunt with her. She's a stranger so you have nothing to lose. Just say "I'm sorry, this isn't a good time, I need space to think". Or "I'm sorry, I have to make a call, please can I have some privacy?". Or "I'm sorry, I've come out to have time on my own, I hope you don't mind if I go off on my own this way".

If you offend her, so what? She's clearly getting her fair share of socialising in. You don't owe her anything and it's your time.

Godimabitch · 07/01/2021 15:03

Put headphones on and mouth "sorry, busy" and just walk away?

There's man like this near where I walk, always seems to be between work and the sandwich shop and keeps me talking while my lunch goes cold. He gets bored when I dont respond much and am distracted with other stuff but that doesn't sound like something that would work with your lady.

Could you walk her towards someone else, start talking to them, let her join the conversation then leave them both? Grin

CrotchBurn · 07/01/2021 15:03

Why dont you just wear headphones and if she actually comes up to speak to you whip them off and make an impatient face and say "Sorry?". Then when she repeats what she has to say be like "yeah it is, bloody freezing!" smile and put headphones back on

ChippyTea16 · 07/01/2021 15:04

Eugh that does sound annoying. Big headphones for me. I used to wear them (and actually listen to music!) on the way home from work to the train station. If any charity muggers tried to talk to me I’d just ignore them. Sounds like you have tried to let her know you don’t want to chat so now it’s time to just ignore. Noise-cancelling ones are best Wink

Spodge · 07/01/2021 15:05

Use Covid? Just say "I'm sorry, it's illegal to socialise. Please go away."

CardoMondo · 07/01/2021 15:05

I’d be very annoyed, people don’t tend to come near me when I have my dog due to the breed but if this was happening to me I’d say “would love to chat but we’re training so have a lovely day!” And sprint away

Lockdownlovernotfromliverpool · 07/01/2021 15:05

Headphones and sing.
Badly.

IAmARectangle · 07/01/2021 15:06

Thank you all so much for the replies!

I knew the dementia thing would be mentioned so I thought I'd put her age in. I know occasionally dementia can occur very early but I'd say it's unlikely. I don't think she's got a disability but then again I can't tell for sure.

I don't like being rude or unkind to people and I try to be kind and tolerant but I think I am going to have to step up the rudeness level a lot with her! I think it's time to be kind to myself and not tolerate her any longer.

When I was on the work call she came over and started talking at me and I did that kind of awkward British smile that we all do and pointed to my phone as if to say "I'm on a call! Fuck off' then carried on with the call but she just followed me talking at me. Nightmare!

OP posts:
TheHateIsNotGood · 07/01/2021 15:09

It's probably "age-related" OP - you say late 40s/50s - definitely relevant in this case as no one under 40 would possibly do this.

IAmARectangle · 07/01/2021 15:11

@TheHateIsNotGood

It's probably "age-related" OP - you say late 40s/50s - definitely relevant in this case as no one under 40 would possibly do this.
Haha oh I don't know, I've known a few under 40s like that in the past. I'm mid forties and like I think I wouldn't do that to someone and that I'm not like that.
OP posts:
LastResponder · 07/01/2021 15:11

Start coughing at her, repeatedly.

Bookworming · 07/01/2021 15:12

God her poor dog must be knackered! Yep headphones, sorry I can't hear you and March away!

Pukkatea · 07/01/2021 15:13

It does sound like she has a disability of some kind - I know some people are just irritating and not everything is a disability, but you describe a person who hangs around parks talking at disinterested people and constantly repeating themselves, it really sounds like she doesn't understand social cues.

CrotchBurn · 07/01/2021 15:14

Maybe she actually lives in the park! That would be a plot twist...

IAmARectangle · 07/01/2021 15:14

I agree, I don't think she does understand social cues.

I just don't think I've got the patience or inclination to tolerate her any longer though.

OP posts:
RincewindsHat · 07/01/2021 15:14

Just explain to her, nicely, that this is your quiet time and you want to walk in peace and not talk to anyone, so can she please leave you alone while you walk your dog. Or say you are being extra cautious because of covid so do not want to interact with people you do not know at this time, so please can she find someone else to talk to. Just let her know what you want.

IAmARectangle · 07/01/2021 15:15

@CrotchBurn

Maybe she actually lives in the park! That would be a plot twist...
That would be funny but she actually lives in a cottage near the park. How do I know this? Because she's told me about it and about her cottage about 12 billion times!
OP posts: