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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed that this woman ruins my dog walks?

458 replies

IAmARectangle · 07/01/2021 14:55

I've name changed for this as I've moaned to a couple of friends in RL about it.

I live in a village that has a massive park in it, and I take our dog over to the park each day at least once as she loves it there. There is an area specifically for dogs so she can go off the lead, and she enjoys walking through the rest of it on the lead so she can have a sniff. The only other place in our village where she could go off the lead would be some woods, which are a fair walk from our house to get there and are also very muddy and flooded at this time of year. I am currently working from home and the kids are doing online learning, so I like to just nip out for a quick half hour walk.

For the last year or so there has been a woman with a dog who is at the park literally every single time I go there. Lets just say she is a chatterbox! She is always talking to someone at the park and if she gets there with her dog she makes a beeline to find someone to talk to and then talks and talks and talks and talks, about the same things over and over again.

In the last couple of months she makes a beeline for me every time she sees me. She is there literally every time I go to the park; I've tried walking the dog at every single time of daylight hours you could think of to avoid her but she is always, always there! If I think she's not there it isn't long before I see her out of the corner of my eye walking towards me and if I pretend not to see her she follows me and catches up with me, then just walks along talking at me and I just can't get away from her.

The other day I was on a work call whilst in the dog exercising area and this woman came and stood with me and as I walked around the area talking on my phone she just talked at me the whole time! I wasn't interacting with her in any way as I was on the phone but she just kept telling me the same stories that she's told me before, such as the story of where she got her dog from!

I've just literally been to the park now and as I walked into the park she was standing talking to someone so I sort of did a detour around her at the entrance so she wouldn't see me and went around the kids play area to enter the dog area a different way and yet still as we walked across the park to the dog area I could see her out of the corner of my eye following us. So I kept the dog on the lead and walked through the park as quickly as I could then made an escape and had to walk home on the main road as she was trying to catch us up.

It sounds ridiculous but she is ruining my dog walks! I like a half hour quiet walk to relax and for the dog to enjoy her walk. I'm not antisocial and always have chats with other walkers but this woman is something else! I'm normally pretty assertive but I've tried all the assertive things that would normally work and she doesn't get the hint. Even walking off from her saying 'right, better go now' she just follows me, talking at me! I can't get away from her until I actually walk out of the park gates. I've also been at the park with a friend and her dog before and this woman just started walking with us, talking 'at' us the whole time. Again, same old stories!

I don't think she's lonely as she talks about a husband and kids at home, and seems to know a lot of people. Not sure if age is relevant but she's late forties, early fifties at a guess.

AIBU to be pissed off with her?

OP posts:
IAmARectangle · 07/01/2021 15:16

And yes, her poor pooch must be fucking knackered! It's quite a young dog, under two years old and a large breed with loads of energy.

OP posts:
bloodyhairy · 07/01/2021 15:16

She's clearly not the full shilling.
And of course she's bloody lonely.
Hmm

notinthiseconomy · 07/01/2021 15:18

What happened when she wouldn't stop talking while you were on the phone? Did you just continue to ignore her? Did you try walking away?

I know I'm not helping but this sounds like a comedy sketch!

x2boys · 07/01/2021 15:18

How is it age related @TheHateIsNotGood,? I'm 47 I wouldn't do this and neither would any of my late 40,s early 50,s friends,,Early onset Dementia is very rare ,when I worked in Dementia care the youngest patient I nursed was 39 ,but it's not common

CrotchBurn · 07/01/2021 15:19

Well if she lives alone, enjoys talking, but feels lonely, theres a good chance she will be on AIBU! 👀

nuitdesetoiles · 07/01/2021 15:20

YANBU. She does sound as though she's interpersonally challenged though... But it's your quiet time and space. I'd find it hard to be rude to a stranger so I'd end up walking somewhere else, or get a jacket for your dog that says "nervous dog do not approach" or something...

hansgrueber · 07/01/2021 15:21

Cough, a lot of coughing.

IAmARectangle · 07/01/2021 15:22

She doesn't live alone. She's mentioned a husband and kids. But who knows?! Maybe they're imaginary?

When I was on the phone I ignored her the whole time and tried to walk away the whole time but she walked next to me talking. When the call was done I put my dog on the lead and just started walking off and she followed me until we bumped into someone else she 'knew' and she started talking to them so I walked off home quickly!

OP posts:
KatyS36 · 07/01/2021 15:22

This sounds tough.

I'd be inclined to tell her directly and firmly that this is your only time to yourself, that you need quiet time to think and so to please leave you alone.

That way you are making it about you, not her.

NewjobOldme · 07/01/2021 15:22

@x2boys

How is it age related *@TheHateIsNotGood*,? I'm 47 I wouldn't do this and neither would any of my late 40,s early 50,s friends,,Early onset Dementia is very rare ,when I worked in Dementia care the youngest patient I nursed was 39 ,but it's not common
I totally agree. I'm 46. I'm in full possession of my faculties as are all my friends of similar age. Late 40s, early 50s is not a common age for dementia.
Shehasadiamondinthesky · 07/01/2021 15:22

Can't you pretend to be deaf? I've done that before now I'm ashamed to say.

purplecorkheart · 07/01/2021 15:23

I think you need to be straight with her. Tell her that walking the dog is your quiet time/solo time and you would prefer to be left alone.

EscapeTheCastle · 07/01/2021 15:23

Wear running gear and when you see her...run!

HearMeSnore · 07/01/2021 15:24

For a moment I thought this must be someone I know because she sounds just like her.

But my annoying talker doesn't live in a cottage near a park. Otherwise she's spot on.

AriesTheRam · 07/01/2021 15:24

She must live v near the park.I bet she grabs her dog and lead the second she sees you heading that way

bloodyhairy · 07/01/2021 15:25

Oh for goodness sake, I suspect it's too late to pretend she's deaf when they've already been chatting Confused
So much overreaction on this thread.

Gncq · 07/01/2021 15:25

She almost certainly has a mental health problem of some sort.

Can you ask her husband/kids? I can't believe she's out there all day every day in the freezing cold.

You could do the concerned neighbor thing and ask them to bring her home around lunchtimes or something.

TheHateIsNotGood · 07/01/2021 15:25

It's a joke - I'm 58 and wouldn't do this either.....do i need to explain Grin...

Cheeseandlobster · 07/01/2021 15:26

She must be bloody freezing and this is definitely not normal behaviour. But at the same time she has no right to monopolise your down time. You can be firm without being rude. Just tell her your time in the park is the only time in a day you get to yourself and that you now need to enforce that and won't be available talk anymore. So sorry. Bye. And repeat as necessary

Jeremyironseverything · 07/01/2021 15:26

It sounds like autism or similar. You can be polite but assertive.

"I'm sorry, I've had a full day working/homeschooling. I need this walk to recharge my batteries. I'm sorry I can't talk now"

Timona · 07/01/2021 15:26

@bloodyhairy

Oh for goodness sake, I suspect it's too late to pretend she's deaf when they've already been chatting Confused So much overreaction on this thread.
I'm pretty sure that was said in a light hearted way 😂
AriesTheRam · 07/01/2021 15:27

Sorry just seen that she does live near the park!

Sinful8 · 07/01/2021 15:27

@CrotchBurn

Why dont you just wear headphones and if she actually comes up to speak to you whip them off and make an impatient face and say "Sorry?". Then when she repeats what she has to say be like "yeah it is, bloody freezing!" smile and put headphones back on
Ahhh yes subtle social cues are definitly the way to go with the person who doesn't recognise to stop talking when somone is on the phone?
Viviennemary · 07/01/2021 15:28

She might be an apparition. It's a bit cold to be in the park all day.

Frauhubert · 07/01/2021 15:28

‘I’ve got the covid cough cough, ciaooooo’